


Loup Garou I thru IV

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-30
Updated: 2001-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 18:41:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 63,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11341110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Jessica Leahs returns to help Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders, and ends up in a relationship that is *really* complicated. Nonshippers beware.





	Loup Garou I thru IV

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Loup Garou by Shael

Disclaimer - Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, Alex Krycek and all other X-Files regulars belong to TenThirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended. Jessica Leahs and any other characters you haven't heard of before, are copyrighted to me. The quote in the header of this story is also used without permission. No copyright infringements or disrespect intended. I just felt that it was appropriate.  
Synopsis - Jessica Leahs returns to help Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders, and ends up in a relationship that is *really* complicated. Nonshippers beware. NC-17 for some language, one graphic consentual sex scene and one breif non-graphic non-consentual sex scene.  
Feedback is always appreciated, and in fact encouraged.  
ThanX to Allegra, Katherine, Donnalee (aka Mom), and Wendy-bird for reading this and saying, "I love it! Don't change a thing," and then telling me everything I did wrong. :)

* * *

Loup Garou - The Kindred  
by (Shael)  
http://www.imadethis.org/loupgarou.htm  
completed Oct. 13, 1996

"And what I wouldn't give to find a soul mate,  
someone else to catch this drift.  
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred."  
\- Alanis Morissette, "All I Really Want"

* * * * *

It was dark and cold in front of the Reflection Pool. The man in black watched the two FBI agents dispassionately. He was not interested in them, but who would be looking for them.

Snatches of their conversation floated through the air to him.

"If I... what I could trust?"

"... trust me, Scully."

"Mulder... trust... than anyone. It's just..."

The sound of the twig breaking cut off the conversation. The objects of the man's quest had stepped out of the shadows. He reached for the camera outfitted with the infra red lens.

* * * * *

Two Years Later -

The woman stepped into her apartment. "Hello, Chloe. Did you miss me?" she cooed as her black and white cat rubbed against her legs. She picked up the fluffy cat and scratched behind its ears as she went to her computer. She logged on to her internet server and requested her mail.

The e-mail on her system was short.

"Jess - Need your help on a case. Contact me ASAP. - Mulder."

Jessica Leahs leaned back with a sigh. <Why me?> she thought, drumming her fingers against the wrist rest. <The only reason Mulder would ask for my help was if... .>

She was afraid and excited at the same time. <Don't get your hopes up, girl.> She reached for the phone.

* * * * *

"She's coming."

Scully nodded. "Are you sure you want her to be involved in this?" She sounded unsure.

"No," Mulder smiled. "But she is, after all, an expert in this area. But then, you don't believe in what she is."

Scully shot Mulder an annoyed look. "I believe she knows what she's talking about. But I don't believe she's a werewolf."

"But she does. That's what's important."

"Mulder, you don't have to defend her to me," Scully said sharply.

"I'm not." Mulder backed off. "I'm just stating her belief." <She's been snappy for the last couple of days. Must be PMS.>

* * * * *

"Hello, Scully. Lindy says 'hi'," Jess said as she stepped through the door. She fixed Mulder with a glare. "This had better be good," she growled. "I gave up front row San Jose Sharks tickets for this."

"With the way that hockey team plays," Mulder snorted, "I'm sure you won't be missing much."

"Go to hell, Mulder."

"And it's good to see you too, Jess."

"So why did you tear me away from Lindy and my cat, who won't forgive me for three months when I get home?"

"Here's what we know for sure. There was an attempted murder. I'm sure you'll recognize the pattern - looks like a dog savaged him."

Jess blinked. "And this concerns me because... ."

"It occurred on the night of a full moon. And saliva samples taken from bite wounds reveal a strange enzyme that we are unable to identify."

One of the cell phones rang. Scully answered hers.

Jess leant towards Mulder. "Let me guess. You've reached a dead end." She pointed at Mulder. "You think it's a werewolf, and she," she nodded her head at Scully, "think it's a psycho with a dog." Her eyebrows raised as she looked at Mulder. "And you want to use me to find out which it really is. Am I right?"

Mulder looked nonplused. "I just thought with your talents and abilities you would be a help."

"In other words, send a werewolf to catch a werewolf." Jess leaned back and looked reflective. "I doubt that it is a werewolf, Mulder. I've been searching for so long, and Lindy is the only one I've ever found."

Scully hung up the phone. "That was the hospital. Our John Doe has been reclassified from serious to critical. He's not expected to last the night."

"The victim survived the attack?" Jess shook her head. "Damn. That would have made things a little easier."

"I'm sorry?" Scully wasn't following.

"Mulder, I'm surprised you didn't think of this." Jess turned to Scully.

"The full moon will be in under a week. If he survives, get him into an isolation chamber. Keep him under observation. If he transforms, then we're dealing with a werewolf. If not," she shrugged her shoulders, "we're dealing with someone who is using some kind of dog as a murder weapon."

Mulder asked the question that was on everyone's mind at some level. "And if we are dealing with a werewolf?"

Jess shrugged her shoulders again. "I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it." She stood up. "C'mon, I want to see the victim."

* * * * *

They decided to drive to the hospital together. They also used the time to catch up.

"How's Lindy doing?" Scully asked from the driver's seat.

"Great," Jess replied from the back seat. "She's in a private school, where the teachers understand what she's gone through. Getting good grades, and being a perfect angel for the most part."

"And any little devils in your life?" Mulder asked.

"No boyfriends, just cats." Jess snorted. "I've been a little too busy taking care of Lindy to worry about that. That, and I just haven't had the inclination to date."

Mulder nodded. "So when did you last go out with someone?"

"Mulder," Jess snorted, "you're as bad as my brother. He keeps trying to pair me off with various friends and clients. Hasn't worked yet."

Mulder laughed a little. "Sounds just like our old friend Robert." He turned to Scully. "Robert was the guy who first introduced us, what, a little over a decade ago."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Jess leaned her head against the window.

Scully was curious about how deep Jess's feelings for Mulder still went. She had said that they were nothing more than good friends. "If you were interested, would you be dating?" she asked.

"Probably." Jess looked out the window. "The right guy hasn't come along yet. But I'm patient. I've learned how to wait."

* * * * *

"God dammit! Can't things go are way just once?" Mulder growled. He, Scully, and Jess had just arrived at the hospital, only to find out that John Doe had died.

"Never have before, so why should they now?" Scully shook her head. "I'll start reviewing the chart and the paperwork for the autopsy." They started walking towards the morgue.

Jess looked disappointed. "Would it be possible to observe the procedure? It might give me some insight into..." she trailed off, looking puzzled. "That's odd. I smell smoke."

Scully inhaled deeply. "I don't smell anything."

"Me neither," Mulder said. "Fire?"

"No," Jess replied after a moment. "Cigarette smoke. Pretty faint. Doubt either of you could smell it." She shook her head. "Probably some orderly sneaking a tobacco hit."

* * * * *

The three of them stood in front of the autopsy table. Mulder was looking slightly queasy. Jess was watching Scully prepare with a detached fascination.

"Here's our John Doe." Scully pulled the sheet back from the corpse's face.

"Cute," Jess snorted. The man's face was a rictus of pain and horror.

A parallel lines of teeth marks encircled the neck. "I see the bite wound, but something that shallow shouldn't have killed him."

"The theory about the actual cause of death was blood loss due to the fact that he was shot in the heart. One odd thing - there are no defense wounds on the hands or arms." Scully was putting on a pair of latex gloves.

"That *is* odd about the lack of defense wounds, especially if there was a dog involved in the attack." Jess was staring at the slash pattern. She turned to Scully. "May I examine the body before you open it?"

Scully nodded and passed Jess a pair of gloves and glasses. Jess put them on and leaned down, eyes level with the throat. She stared at them intently, fingers tracing the gashes.

"I can tell you a one thing about these marks - they weren't made by any dog I know of."

"What makes you say that?" Mulder asked weakly. He was making a macho attempt to keep his breakfast in his stomach.

"I see a set of dog canines, dog incisors, and molars. *Human* molars."

Scully looked a little closer. "She's right, Mulder. They do look like human molars. Could a man have bitten and then the dog bit over the same spot?"

Jess shook her head. "Not with that degree of accuracy. Maybe the attacker had a set of skeleton canine jaws and used that to make an impression. Symbolic lycanthropy?"

One of the cell phones rang. "Mulder... you have the results? We'll be there as soon as we finish the autopsy." He powered down the phone. "That was Pendrell. He has the test results on one of the collars we found."

"Collars?" Standing up, Jess shot an irritated glance at Mulder. "Mind explaining?"

"We found what appear to be two tracking collars with the victim. One's being examined through official channels, the other unofficial. In fact," Mulder started towards the door, "I'm going to check with the Gunmen to see if they've turned anything up."

"Fine, go ahead." <Ditch me like always.> Scully reached for a scalpel. As Mulder stepped out the door, the last thing he heard was Scully asking a question. "Has he always been so tight lipped when it comes to sharing information?"

"Ohhh yeah. Would you believe that once he..."

Mulder sighed to himself. <I'm gonna regret introducing the two of them.>

* * * * *

"So what's the rundown on the collars?" Jess asked.

The autopsy had been completed. Back at Mulder's apartment, they were waiting for the results of some tissue sample analysis. To Mulder's frustration, nothing unusual had been found except for the odd enzyme that was deposited in the bite wound.

"The collars are similar to the radio tracking collars used in wildlife management, with one unusual modification." Mulder paused, looking straight at Jess. "Each collar had been outfitted with a stun device that has substantial discharge."

"Why would you put a Taser in a dog's collar?" Scully mused.

"Maybe it was one *bad* dog." Jess said. "Doesn't prove anything."

"Jess, I expected Scully not to believe me, but you of all people..."

"Mulder, I'm not saying I don't have an open mind to your werewolf theory. However, I don't keep my mind so open that my brain falls out on the floor."

Scully decided to step in before things got out of hand. "Right now, there isn't enough evidence to make any conclusions."

"You're right, Scully." Jess yawned. "Anyway, I gotta go take a nap if I'm gonna go nosing around tonight."

"Um, Jess, I wanted to talk to you about that," Mulder said. "I don't think you should go out alone at night."

"I beg your pardon." Jess's voice took on an edge.

"You heard me." Mulder's voice also had an edge to it.

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that. I just don't want you to get hurt or mistaken for our suspect."

<Uh oh!> Scully thought. Jess had stiffened and was looking more and more pissed by the moment. "Mulder, Jess will be careful. I don't think house arrest is the best way to... ."

"No, Scully, don't bother." Jess had spun on her heel and was leaving. "I won't so much as step outside the hotel without your permission, Fox." She hissed the last word, knowing how much he hated to be called by his first name. She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

"The stubborn little..." Mulder's voice trailed off.

Scully shook her head. "Don't you hate it when someone you care about doesn't listen to you or see that your advice is for their own good?"

"Yeah, it is frustrat... Damn. You just described me."

Scully grinned. "Gotcha," she said, kissing his nose.

* * * * *

<Damn him!> Jess mentally screamed. <The sheer unmitigated arrogance...>

Jess sat fuming in her hotel room. <How did I let him get me into this?>

<I can't believe Mulder had the gall to ask, no tell, me not to go out at night alone, human or wolf. Period.> He had backed her into a corner and made her promise not to leave the hotel. And because of a strong sense of personal honor, Jess felt obligated to keep that promise.

But she didn't have to like it.

<It's not like it's a full moon.> Jess groused. <I can understand the fact that he doesn't want me hunting. But, the fact that I can't go out outside as a human without a *chaperone*... .> She gritted her teeth

Jess could see some sense in it. If it really were a werewolf, and someone tried to frame her, it would be good to have an alibi. And she probably would have agreed with it eventually if Mulder hadn't then made a tactical error.

He checked up on her. Worse, he tried to cover up the fact that he was checking up on her.

<I don't believe it. A doctorate in psychology and he goes and does a bone headed thing like that.> Jess shook her head.

<So here I am, Friday night, and I said that I wouldn't leave the hotel.>

She snorted. And then smiled.

<...But I never said anything about leaving my room...>

* * * * *

The human part of him, what little of it that was left, was lonely. But loneliness had been his lifelong companion. He didn't have many friends at school, bright enough to get good grades but not to be the star student. Always wanting to be the center of attention, but never quite making it. Maybe that was why he jumped at the promise of power so quickly. They had flattered, flirted, coaxed, seduced, and compelled him until he had been in too deep to escape.

<Damn Cancerman! And damn me for listening to him!> Alexander Krycek thought as he walked back to the hotel. Recruited straight out of Quantico, he had served the powers-that-be to the best of his abilities, no matter how distasteful he found his mission. His reward for obeying without question, a death, no, make that a*life* sentence. First came Fox Mulder almost shooting him, then the botched car bombing, then Mulder beating the crap out of him in Hong Kong, and then being left in the silo to die. <If only I were that lucky.> And then...

Krycek shivered at the memory, pulling his leather jacket tighter around him. The last thing he remembered was cleaning up in the bathroom in Hong Kong. He couldn't remember how he got into the silo. He could remember screaming himself hoarse for someone to let him out. And eventually someone answering his cries.

Two days <or was it three> after his voice gave out, too weak from thirst and hunger to struggle, they came for him. They strapped him <not too gently> to a gurney and took him to one of their labs on the outskirts of D.C. Kept him sedated until he had regained his health somewhat.

And then they began the experiment.

<At least they didn't use any of that "alien" DNA.> He had seen some of the poor bastards they had done that to. <At least I still look human... most of the time.>

He stopped in front of the hotel bar. It wasn't one of the smoky dives that he had been haunting as of late. Maybe it would throw the Cigarette Smoking Man off his trail.

<Yeah, right.> Krycek had the feeling that if Cancerman *really* wanted him, nothing would be able to save his hide. He had thought that when he was almost captured by one of the enforcers. If he hadn't attacked the man sent after him, he probably would be back at the lab, alive or dead. And amazingly enough, the credit cards in the wallet he had taken hadn't been signed, so it was easy enough to forge a signature. Almost like someone wanted him on the outside. So he was Alex Kowalski for the moment, until Cancerman decided that it wouldn't do to have him on the loose.

He stepped into the bar and surveyed the crowd. It was the usual assortment of business people and tourists trying to unwind. <Hello! Who's she?> The short haired brunette in the black t-shirt and jeans was bending over to align the shot. Dark eyes glanced up, connected briefly with his, and cooly returned to the cue ball. She completed the shot without hesitation.

Something about her was damn attractive. Despite his situation, he wanted to get to know her, even if only for one night. He turned to the bartender. "Send the woman at the pool table one of whatever she's been drinking."

"Good luck, buddy. She's turned down five drinks so far."

* * * * *

Jess was downstairs in the bar, shooting pool. And playing a damn fine game too. <It would be better if I could get the drunks to stop hitting on me.> It was throwing off her concentration.

Getting hit on was one reason Jess didn't go to bars too often. It annoyed her. Ever since she had become a werewolf, most human males did nothing to excite her anymore. The only exception she had dated had been Mulder, but the Change had only been in effect for about a day when she met him. Now she doubted that if she met him now, she'd be attracted to him. On the other hand, it was all she could do to keep men from hitting on her. <Must be pheromonal or something...> she mused.

She looked up from a particular difficult shot - the two was behind the eight with just a few inches in between. Hit it wrong and either she would scratch or knock the eight ball into the pocket. <Hmmm, look what just walked in...> The young man wearing the leather jacket and tight jeans had a lean, hungry look about him that appealed strongly to her. <Concentrate on the pool balls, girl, not his.> She refocused and completed her shot.

<Perfect!> The cue ball kissed the eight ball and hit the two ball into the corner pocket, *just* missing scratching. She looked back up, to see the man admiring the shot, and her chest.

Jess straightened back up and nonchalantly began to rack the balls for another game. She glanced over at the bar. <Yup, he's still watching.> She started to chalk the cue.

"Hate to bother you, miss, but another guy has sent you a drink." The waitress sounded bemused.

"Again?" Jess raised her eyebrows. "Okay, which one this time?"

"Black jacket at the bar."

Jess casually glanced in that direction. It was the young stud. His eyebrow slightly raised when he caught her looking at him.

<Nothing ventured...,> Jess thought. <And since I so rarely have these impulses, why not?> "Can I use a page off your bill pad?"

* * * * *

Krycek watched the woman scribble something down and give it to the waitress. Keeping the beer, she then set the waitress on her way.

The waitress headed back to the bar. She gave him the note before picking up her next order.

Krycek opened it. "I don't accept drinks from strangers, so get your cute butt over here and introduce yourself."

He looked back to where the woman was standing. She smiled, placed a second cue stick on the table, and gestured him over with her head.

He smiled in return and to himself. <It's gonna be one interesting night.>

* * * * *

After a few beers and several games of pool with Alex, as he called himself, Jess decided to call it a night. And, coincidentally, he was staying on the floor below her. So they took the elevator together.

They stood in front of the door to his room. "So I guess I can't convince you to come in for some coffee?" he asked.

Jess gave him a devilish grin. "What you really mean is 'So I guess I can't convince you to come in so we can screw each other for the rest of the night?' I don't think so. Besides," she said, leaning in close, "we have to save something to do for one of our later dates."

Krycek drew in his breath sharply. Jess closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly as he leaned in close. His tongue slid over hers and traced the ridges of the roof of her mouth. She grabbed his hips, slamming her body against him. Moaning, she returned his passion with equal enthusiasm.

The kiss broke as suddenly as it started. They both stood there panting, wondering what would happen next.

Krycek turned slightly and opened the door. "So, did I manage to change your mind about coming in?"

"You make a *very* persuasive argument," Jess purred. She paused, a playful sparkle in her eyes. "Maybe... hmmm... no." She shoved him into his room. "But call me tomorrow," she said with a laugh, pulling the door shut.

All Krycek had been wanting when he first saw her was a one night stand. However, not sleeping with her right away and seeing her again did have a certain appeal. <I think I just might do that,> he thought.

But for the moment, he wanted to take care of a pressing problem. And right now, that problem was pressing his boxers. It had been so long since he had been with a woman, and he had gotten hot and bothered very quickly. <Maybe a cold shower...>

Krycek started to strip and headed for the bathroom. He had gotten as far as the bed when he caught sight of himself in the full length mirror. Completely naked, he took a long hard look at himself. He had healed well from his experience in the silo, the mistreatment at the labs and the training, leaving only solid muscle on his thin frame. Only an odd bruise on his groin was left. His fingers brushed against it and the hair at the base of his half hard cock.

<Ooooooh. That was a mistake,> he thought, closing his eyes, shocked by the power of his reaction. Longings that he was forced to deny for the moment swelled, demanding attention. <Forget a *cold* shower.>

<It's as close as you'll ever get to having her,> another male voice whispered in his head, chuckling evily. <Especially if she finds out what I did to you.>

Krycek spun around panicked, thinking that the voice had been in the room with him. It had only been his imagination and memory. But it was all too real. The speaker did exist, and in real life would be saying the exact same things to him. <She'd turn away in disgust if she knew that you enjoyed what I made you do.>

<I didn't enjoy it,> he thought. He walked into the bathroom and started the water running.

<Okay, maybe you didn't,> the voice conceded. <But if she knew who you *really* are, and what you've done, she wouldn't let you kiss her shoe, let alone her lips.>

The thought of kissing Jess again drove away the mocking voice torrmenting him. She was a wonderful kisser, all heat and tongue and pressure. He knew she would be the moment he had seen them, pursed as she aligned her shot on the pool table. And then he had been proven right just a few minutes ago.

<But I'm just kidding myself,> he thought despondently. <With everything I've done, she wouldn't be interested in any kind of relationship with me.> It would be too dangerous for someone he even slightly cared about, and he had caused enough pain in his life. He sighed trying to forget the sensations that Jess had awakened in him.

* * * * *

Scully wasn't looking forward to this. Neither she nor Mulder had heard from Jess last night. And Mulder and Jess had one hell of a fight. They could both be so stubborn.

And she wasn't that happy with Mulder to begin with. He could be so self-absorbed at times, pratically ignoring her. And although Jess had made it clear that she could easily take care of herself, he went out of his way to protect her. However he couldn't see that Scully was upset and wanted, needed the attention more than Jess did.

Scully stepped down to the hallway to Jess's hotel suite. Jess had insisted on having her own place and acting independently of the two of them.

Scully stopped in front of a door. She knocked on it. "It's Scully."

"Come in, it's open." Scully entered. "So tell me," Jess looked up from the newspaper she was reading. "Did you come over here on your own, or did Mulder put you up to this?"

Scully decided to be direct. "I'm here on my own. What did you do last night?"

"Murder, mayhem, ya know, the usual." Jess grinned. "I was downstairs in the bar shooting pool for several hours. The bartender and the guy I was playing with can vouch for me."

"So basically, you were trying to teach Mulder a lesson about trying to control you."

"Yup. Did it work?"

"Hasn't worked when I've tried. Why should it for you?"

"True," Jess agreed. "Actually, something about the way he said it rubbed me the wrong way. I've had a problem with male authority figures ever since I broke up with an abusive boyfriend. So I'm as much to blame for my attitude."

"I also thought you'd want to see a copy of the autopsy and the ballistics report." She handed a stack of papers to Jess. "Basically, the reason he died is due to the trauma induced when he shot himself."

"Suicide? I thought this was a murder." Jess started to leaf through the papers.

"So did we, but ballistics came back as being from the gun found in John Doe's possession. And his prints are the only ones on the gun. One other thing, the bullet was coated with pure silver."

* * * * *

It had been a long day at the Bureau. Mulder was tired. Having made up with Jess had helped. But it had been another day of working with people who thought that "Spooky" had another one of his weird ideas. Only Scully and Skinner would defend him somewhat, although not believing his theories anymore than his detractors.

Now they were at Scully's. <Finally alone together,> Mulder thought. He stepped up behind Scully and pressed his body against hers.

She moved away from him. <What is up with her? She usually can't stand not touching when we have a chance.> "Scully, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Mulder," Scully snapped.

"Well, something's bothering you. You've been edgy since Jess arrived. Don't tell me you're jealous of her."

"No, I'm not jealous of Jess."

"Then what is it? Please, don't shut me out."

"Look who's talking," Scully growled. "Every time I've had a problem, or needed some reassurance, you've been stone cold. It's time you've been on the receiving end for once."

"Scully, I've always had a hard..."

"No!" Scully interrupted. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I'm tired of you blaming everything on your rotten childhood. Just get out."

"Please, I didn't mean to..."

"Go!" Scully wasn't backing down. Mulder realized she was *really* pissed off and would toss his ass out the door if he didn't leave.

"Okay, I'm going." He backed out the door.

Scully burst out into tears as soon as the door closed. Part of her wanted to chase him down and take back everything she said. However, pride won out and she went to bed.

* * * * *

Jess sat in her room, watching a TV infomercial. She had spent a great evening watching a really bad sci fi movie with Alex. They both had ended up mocking their way through it. That and making out like a horny teen with him had been a lot of fun too. Now alone, she was too wound up to go to sleep, even though it was 2 am.

There was a knock at her door. <Who the hell could that be at this time of night? Alex, I thought I wore you out.> She got up and said "Who is it?" as she spied through the peephole.

"Iz me," slurred Mulder's voice. "Le' me in? Please?"

Yes, it was Mulder standing out there, staggering about in an alcoholic haze. Jess opened the door. "Mulder, what are you doing over here? Don't tell me you drove over here like this."

Mulder staggered through the door. "Went to see Jess, stopped at the bar in the hotel lobby. Dana, I'm sorry."

"Mulder, it's me, Jess," she said softly. <Whoa! He's *really* plowed. I don't remember ever seeing him *this* drunk.> "Scully's at her place, I think. Do you want me to take you there?"

"No, Dana, le' me finish. Sorry for not talking. Can' talk 'bout problems, makes 'em too real. Don' send me away 'gain. Woan push you t' talk" Mulder put his arms around Jess and pulled her in before she could break the embrace. "Forgiv' me?" Mulder clamped his mouth over Jess's.

Jess almost retched from the smell of beer on his breath. She pushed hard against Mulder, shoving him off balance. He fell backwards onto the couch. "Mulder, you're drunk. I'm not the one you should be talking to. And you shouldn't be talking to anyone while you're like this. Let me take you back to your place and get you sobered up."

"Don' wanna leave."

She sighed. "Okay, at least let me make you some coffee." Jess turned away and started the complimentary coffee pot brewing. "So, talk to me. What's the problem?"

A snore was her answer. Jess turned and looked at the couch. Mulder had passed out. <How do I let myself end up in situations like this?> she thought, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

* * * * *

Mulder finally woke up. He was in his bed. How he got there he wasn't quite sure. Or why he had just kicked off his shoes before he went to bed instead of stripping to his shorts like he usually did.

His head pounded in tempo with his heartbeat, which made it almost impossible to think. <What a weird dream.> In it, he remembered apologizing to Scully, but for some reason, she looked like Jess. <I'll have to analyze that one later.> He rolled out of bed, staggered into the bathroom, and emptied out his stomach. That accomplished, he stumbled to the kitchen, determined to get some coffee. <Hell, I can smell it already.>

"Morning, Mulder."

"Morning, Jess. *Jess?!?* What the hell are you doing here?"

"I brought you home last night. You were in no condition to drive, and I didn't want you ralphing in my room. And from the sounds I heard a few minutes ago, I think I made the right choice."

Mulder felt at his front pocket. The keys were still in there. "How did you get me in here?" Mulder accepted the cup of coffee Jess offered and sat.

"How does anyone get into your apartment? I picked the lock," Jess grinned. "Now, do you want to tell my why you showed up at my hotel room plastered?"

"I, uh, don't remember much about last night." Mulder winced at the light as Jess cracked open a curtain to look outside.

"Well, does calling me Dana, incoherently apologizing for not talking, and trying to ram your tongue down my throat sound familiar?"

Mulder grimaced. "Hell! Then it wasn't a dream." He looked at her sidelong. "And you didn't try to take advantage of me?"

"Let's just say I figured you wouldn't be 'up' to the occasion." There was a knock at the door. "That'll be Scully. I'm outta here."

"Jess, can't you stay and..."

"Referee? I don't think so." Jess got up to answer the door. "Besides, you're a big boy, and you two have to learn to talk to each other. That, and I gotta catch up on some lost sleep." Jess grabbed her purse as she opened the door. She nodded a greeting to Scully and left.

An awkward silence filled the room. Mulder finally broke it. "So, how much did Jess tell you?"

"Just that you showed up at her place drunk and made a pass at her thinking that it was me." Scully shook her head. "Even when you try to cheat on me, you end up with me."

"Well, at least I'm faithful in a bizarre way."

"Bizarre is right. Maybe that's the problem."

"Say again, Scully?"

Scully looked out the window. "All this weirdness is starting to get to me. I don't think we've actually ever had any time to ourselves."

"What about last weekend at your place?"

Scully shook her head. "That's not what I mean, Mulder. Every time we go somewhere together, it's because of work. We're being sent to investigate some odd murder or disappearance. It's always as Special Agents Scully and Mulder, never Dana and Fox."

The light went on in Mulder's brain. "Are you saying that you want to go somewhere on vacation with me?"

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes."

"Then that settles it." Mulder lurched up and crossed the room to hold her. "As soon as we get this case solved, we take a leave of absence together."

"But, Mulder, that would be stupid for us both to take one at the same time. How would we explain to Skinner... ."

"Shhhh." He put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "This is something you need and I want to do for you. Let me think about the details, we'll come up with something."

* * * * *

It was 10 am. Jess crashed onto her bed. She was curling into a ball, drifting off to sleep when there was a knock at the door.

<If it's Mulder again, I am going to kill him.> She got up with a sigh and answered the door.

There stood Alex. "Hey, Jess. How are you d... whoa!" He looked her up and down appreciatively. "I thought you were joking about screwing each other on one of our later dates."

Jess looked down horrified. She was wearing what she usually wore to bed - panties and a satin sleep shirt that barely covered them. "Oh God! I forgot you were coming over," blushing furiously. "Let me get dressed," she said, retreating to the bedroom.

"No, don't bother on my account," he said trailing after. "Mind if I watch?" A pillow slammed into his face, followed by the door. "I guess that's a 'no'."

Jess reappeared wearing jeans and a t-shirt. "Make that a 'not-just-this-moment'." She sat down on the couch, patting the spot beside her. "Anyway, I'm too tired to appreciate sex fully."

"Rough night? I thought I left you feeling good. You sure felt good against me," Alex said, sitting beside her. His hand slid across the small of her back to wrap around her waist.

Jess relaxed back into his embrace. "Remember the friend I was telling you about?"

"The one that you slept with?"

"Yeah, that's the one. He and his girlfriend had a fight, and he showed up here wasted. So I had to get him back to his place - don't ask how, the details are a little fuzzy due to the lack of sleep."

"What, afraid I'd walk in on the two of you and fly into a jealous rage?"

"Nah, I didn't want my room stinking like vomit when he sobered up."

"Good point." His hand was circling lightly around her hipbone. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Sleep," Jess said, placing her head against his shoulder.

"Together? Right now? Sure."

"You have a one track mind, a dirt track." Jess laughed. "I think that's why I keep you around." She put a hand on his thigh, stroking it lightly.

<God! What is it about her? I should be thinking about getting the hell out of town, not falling for this beautiful woman.> Krycek pulled her in for a heart stopping kiss.

<I'm here to help Mulder and Scully solve... Ohhhh, he is *so* good.> Alex's tongue was slowly exploring her mouth. She moaned and laced her fingers in his hair. He leaned back, pulling her onto him. <I shouldn't be doing this, but I sure as hell don't want to stop. There are worse things I could be doing than falling in love.>

* * * * *

Jess sat opposite the Hoover Building, sketch pad in hand. Her pencil danced over the paper, catching the feel of her surroundings. <It's been too long since I've drawn for the fun of it.> She was so absorbed in shadowing the stairway she had drawn, she didn't notice the FBI agent standing behind her.

"Not bad."

Jess jumped in surprise. "Uh, thanks." She brushed her bangs back from here eyes.

"Of course, if you've put any government secrets into that drawing, I'll have to arrest you." He flashed a FBI badge. "In fact I'll start the interrogation right now. What's your name and will you have dinner with me tonight?"

Jess thought about it. <I'm not attracted to him, but why not.> "I plead the fiftieth. I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't know your name."

"It's Tom Colton. And you are?"

"Jess Leahs. And yes, I'd love to go to dinner."

They traded polite nothings and phone numbers. Colton excused himself, saying he had to get to work. As he was about to enter the building, he took one last look. He saw Jess chatting with... Mulder?

Then he remembered the rumor that was going around - Spooky's ex was in town and helping him pick up the killers vibes, or something like that. <So much for that date.> He stopped in the lobby to make a call.

* * * * *

Jess had returned to the hotel to get ready for her date. There were three messages waiting for her, Alex saying that he was too tired to do anything tonight and he'd call in the morning, Mulder inviting her to dinner with Scully, and Colton saying his mother had arrived in town unexpectedly and he had to cancel tonight.

<Well, at least I still have something to do tonight.> She phoned back Mulder. "Hey there. It's Jess."

"Hey there yourself. Do you want to go out to dinner with my boss and his wife? "

"Afraid to face them alone?" Jess couldn't resist teasing.

"No, feeling sorry for you. Thought you'd like to get out of that hotel room. And I want you to run interference if he starts asking Scully and I questions."

"Oh, I see. I'm a diversion. I should be insulted." Jess paused for a beat. "But you know me, free food and I'm there. What time and where?"

* * * * *

After they joined the Skinners at the table, Jess had switched gears admirably. She went from baiting Mulder endlessly to a polite dinner guest in the blink of an eye. Both she and Sharon Skinner had grown up in California, and were discussing the merits of the Bay Area versus San Diego. Scully could not hide her amusement as Mulder kept looking at Jess in shock. <She does love keeping him on his toes,> she thought.

"Mulder, have I grown a second head or something?" Jess had finally noticed the odd looks she was getting.

Before Mulder could respond, Scully jumped in. "He's in shock that you haven't tried to take him down a notch for the last ten minutes."

Mulder shot an annoyed look at his partner as Jess took up the challenge. "I was *supposed* to be making fun of you in front of your boss and his wife?" Jess hit her forehead in mock frustration. "Mulder, you've got to tell me these things *ahead* of time."

The sound of laughter filled the air. "Remind me to tell the most embarrassing story about you I can come up with later, Jess. And if you're really bad I'll... oh no." Mulder's voice faded out.

"Something wrong, Mulder?" Skinner had been enjoying watching Jess and Mulder go at it. There was a relaxed familiarness between the two of them that put Mulder more at ease than Skinner had ever seen. Scully was very calm also. <Odd, that,> he thought. If a woman with a past with Mulder, or one who was thinking about a future with him, was around, Scully got possessive very quickly.

Mulder leaned towards Jess. "Don't look now, but Colton just walked in with someone."

"Well, he broke the date with me because his mom was in town." Jess turned to look. "Although if *she's* his mother, my hat's off to her plastic surgeon."

Skinner turned in his chair. Agent Colton was being sat at a table on the other side of the room. His "mother" was a twenty something leggy blonde with a low cut blouse and a high cut skirt.

Mulder, who never like Colton to begin with, looked irate. Scully looked embarrassed by her former partner's actions. She also looked concerned for Jess and worried about Mulder. "Don't even think about going over there, Mulder."

Jess sat drumming her fingers, contemplating something. "Yeah, don't go. I want first crack at him. Besides Mulder," an impish look was glowing in her eyes, "sometimes the best revenge doesn't involve direct physical violence. Watch and learn." Reaching up to dishevel her hair, she turned to Mrs. Skinner. "May I borrow your wedding ring?"

* * * * *

Colton sat at the table with his date, Laura. Things were going very well. <Much better than if I had gone out with Spooky's ex.> She wasn't as witty as Jessica seemed, hell, she wasn't as bright as Jessica. But it looked like he could get Laura to say 'yes' much easier than he could have Jess.

"So, Tom, what would you like to do after dinner? Maybe stop back at my place for a drink?" Laura leaned forward, showing off more of her cleavage.

Colton, eyes glued to her chest, licked his lips and was about to respond when another voice interrupted. "Honey, what are you doing here? It's been three days this time, Tom. I've been *so* worried."

The blood drained from Colton's face, and other body parts as well. He turned to see Jess staring at him, tears in her eyes. The light glinted off the wedding band on her hand as she wrung them nervously.

"Who is this? You didn't tell me you were married." His date sounded put out.

Colton stared darkly at Jess. "I'm not."

"Tom, don't say that, sweetheart!" Jess cried out. "We can work it out. And little Tommy and Amy keep asking when daddy will be back."

"Kids? You have *kids*?" Laura had heard enough. "I'm leaving, you creep!"

"Laura, wait!" Colton stood up trying to stop Laura. No luck. She stormed out.

Jess, meantime, had covered her face with her hands. She was shaking with what looked like sobs of sorrow, but was actually hysterical laughter. Colton spun around to face her. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" he ground out through clenched teeth.

"No, just what the hell do you think *you're* doing?" Mulder, having decided to get into the act, was now stepping up beside Jess, putting an arm around her comfortingly. "Here you have a beautiful wife, a loving family, and you are running around with some bimbo who's IQ is smaller than her bra size." Jess was leaning into Mulder for support. Now she was really losing control. "C'mon, let's sit you down and dry your eyes away from that jerk." He was leading her off. "You could do *much* better than him." He was sitting her down at a table where... <Oh shit! Scully and AD Skinner were watching the whole thing.> Colton turned bright red and left the restaurant.

"Jessica, that was very immature of you," Scully scolded.

She passed the ring back to Mrs. Skinner. "I know, but it was fun. Besides, don't worry about it. I'm used to rotten luck when it comes to men."

Mulder got a closed off look. "Are you implying something?"

It took Jess a moment to register what he said. "Oh no. No, no, no," she said shaking her head. "I was referring to the first guy I kissed. He gave me mononucleosis." She ran her fingers through her short hair. "And then there was Jake, of course. But you, nah."

That clinched Skinner's suspicions. "I take it that the rumors about the two of you are true."

Jess didn't miss a beat. "Which ones? I started three myself."

"The ones about you and Mulder having an affair."

"Had an affair," Mulder corrected. "And that was over ten years ago."

"Try twelve." Jess snorted. "We were young and stupid. Things have changed a lot since then."

Mulder took the opening she left. "Yeah, you're older."

"Mulder, bite me."

* * * * *

"And then you told him what?" Krycek was laughing uncontrollably.

"Something about 'our kids' asking for daddy. His date flounced out." Jess was still snickering from the memory. "Then my friend came over and read him the riot act for 'walking out on me'."

"That's too funny." He reached out to stroke Jess's hair. "How could someone be so stupid as to walk out on you?"

"Seems like there are a lot of stupid men out there."

"I'm not one of them." Krycek lifted her wrist to his lips.

Jess shuddered in pleasure. <I want you *sooooo* badly.> "I hope not." She pulled his head to hers, kissing his forehead.

<I've got to have her.> Krycek flipped around so he was kneeling in front of Jess. He eased in between her legs, spreading them, but not touching any higher than her knees.

Jess slid forward, kissing him feverently. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her weight against him.

That was too much for Krycek to bear. He leaned backwards to the floor, taking him her with him. He pushed her back so that she was straddling his hips instead of his waist. He looked up at her.

She was looking down at him, lips parted, eyes full of dark fire. She leant down to brush his cheek with hers. Krycek moaned softly. She brushed against his other cheek. She then settled her weight back onto her hips, and his. She sighed at the feel of the hardness beneath her.

"So beautiful. Oh God, so beautiful," he whispered. He slowly started to press upwards with his hips. His hands clamped onto her waist, holding her firmly against him.

He needn't have worried. Instead of pulling away, Jess ground into him. She lowered her chest against him, kissing his throat. Her hands started to wander over his sides, slipping underneath to caress the small of his back.

"Jessica," he breathed. He started pulling her shirt out from under her jeans.

A ringing sound filled the air. <Shit! Not now!> Jess thought desperately. She lifted up, a disappointed look in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Krycek cupped her cheek. "Go on, get it."

Jess kissed him lightly. She eased off him, prolonging contact as long as she could.

As she moved off to answer the phone, Krycek picked himself up off the floor. <Hell, what were you about to do?> Sex was not a problem, but a relationship would be. And this time, he didn't think he'd be able to separate the two. <And I really don't care. I want to be with her more than anything I've ever wanted before.>

"Sorry about that." Jess returned. She put her arms around his waist. "Just my friend, calling to ask about going to lunch tomorrow." She hesitated. "Um, Alex, I'm not sure we should pick up where we left off." <But I want to. Oh God, do I *want* to.>

<No! Please! I don't care if it's the wrong thing to do.> "I think you may be right." He pulled her head against his chest, cradling it.

"Then you better go." The regret in her voice was real. <But I don't want you to leave. Stay, please!>

Krycek nodded. He kissed her softly and then crossed the room. At the door, he looked back hesitating. "Talk to you tomorrow?" Jess was standing there, biting her lip, trying to keep from crying. She nodded slightly. He looked down, and then let himself out.

<What have I just done?> Jess despaired. She shut off the lamp and went into the bedroom. Not bothering to undress, she threw herself on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

* * * * *

Jess sat in her hotel room alone the next morning. <God, Scully and Mulder are damn lucky to have each other.> She had spent most of her life alone. She had never thought about having a long term intimate relationship with a human. For that fact, she hadn't thought of having a short term relationship either. <Hell, what am I doing?> Jess thought miserably. <I shouldn't be involved with Alex. He's either going to think I'm crazy, or freak out. Hell, *Mulder* couldn't handle it, how could I expect him to? What was I thinking?>

There was a knock on the door. "Jess, it's Mulder, and I'm sober."

Jess answered the door. "That's a shocker. What are you doing here? New info?"

"No, just wanted to talk." Mulder sat on one end of the couch. "It's been a while since it's been just us. So, how are you doing?"

<Why the hell not talk to him about it?> "I'm struggling with something. I've started dating someone, casually I thought."

Mulder leaned back, a little surprised. "You, dating? There must be a God."

"Stop that!" Jess threw a pillow at him in annoyance. "I'm serious here."

"Okay, I'll behave."

"Promises, promises." Jess shook her head. "When I started, I said that it was just for fun. But I'm developing strong feelings for this guy."

"Have you acted on those feelings?" Mulder was curious. Jess had learned to keep a tight rein on her emotions, and she wasn't impulsive. But she sounded truly rattled.

"No, but came too damn close last night. If you hadn't called... ." Jess shook her head. "I really don't know what to do. I can't tell him what I am."

"Are you sure about that, blood thirsty hell beast?" Mulder ducked another pillow flying in his direction. "No, I'm serious. Jess, you don't have to tell him. I mean you've been here what, a week? Things can't be that far along. How much does he know about you?"

"That I'm in town helping you, that I was abused by Jake, and some stuff about my family. Aside from that, nothing much."

"So why are you panicking? It's not like the two of you are engaged or have made any type of serious commitment."

"Mulder, you don't understand." Jess sighed. "I haven't been attracted slightly to any men since you. And I am *strongly* attracted to him."

Mulder raised his eyebrows. "Are you trying to tell me you're a lesbian or did I spoil it for you being with other men?"

"No, I'm not gay and don't flatter yourself." Jess laced her fingers and rested her chin on them. "I think it has something more to do with being a werewolf than having been abused."

Mulder thought about that for a moment. "Jess, let me get this straight. You haven't been interested in dating. You arrive here, where we think there is a werewolf roaming, and you start getting urges you haven't had since before your transformation. You don't think that this guy is the person we're looking for?"

"I don't know, Mulder."

"So, do a mind probe."

"It's not that simple," Jess growled through clenched teeth. "I can't probe for information. I just pick up on what the person is thinking about. Unless he happens to be thinking that he's a werewolf, I can't tell. And I'm not going to run a twenty four hour mind scan for the three seconds that he might be thinking about lycanthropy. And besides," she bowed her head. "If I do scan him and learn something, I might accidentally let it slip. How do I explain that?"

"That's a hard one, Jess." Mulder sounded sympathetic.

"Anyway, I'm unsettled to begin with. Full moon's tonight, and I'm always antsy until I go out for a run."

"In that case, I'll leave you alone." Mulder got up to leave. "Just be careful."

Jess gave him a toothy grin. "I will be."

* * * * *

<Shit! I did it again.> The full moon had been too much to resist. Out causing mayhem as a wolf, back in the room as a remorseful human.

Vague remembrances of bloody violence danced in his mind. He put his hands to his head to try to shut out the screams of his victims past and present. <Damn it to hell, I thought I could control this!>

<And what happens if you're with *her* one full moon night?> He couldn't shake the image. Him on top, and deep inside, of his lover. The sudden pain of transformation ripping to shreds the pure pleasure he was feeling. Her cries of ecstasy changing to screams of horror in a heartbeat. The look of pure terror in her beautiful brown eyes as his fangs closed on Jess's ivory throat.

<Oh God! No!> Krycek thought. <That does it. I can't let that happen to her. I'd never forgive myself.> He was going to call off the relationship, no matter how much it hurt. He couldn't risk killing, or even wounding, the first person who loved him unconditionally. True, Jess hadn't said it aloud, but her actions spoke loud enough for him.

<Gotta stop thinking about this.> He grabbed the bottle of vodka he had bought earlier in the day, just for this occasion. Getting drunk and passing out was the only way he knew to shut out the images and the voices.

<It's gonna be lonely without Jess,> he thought as he popped open the long neck bottle. A lone tear, first of many, slid down his cheek as he threw his head back and took his first swallow.

* * * * *

The creature had shadowed Jess back to the hotel. <For someone with exceptional mind powers, she sure is dense. But then she hasn't had any training.>

<And I'd enjoy training her in several things.> The male grinned wolfishly. When he first caught her scent, it drove him wild. Here was a strong, and strong willed, bitch. The others at the lab had become too submissive. He wanted a challenge. He wanted her.

The thought of her under him almost distracted him from his mission - to hunt down Krycek. The damned traitor had killed a guard and disabled his implant and escaped. Exactly how it wasn't known. The tracking devices were supposed to be foolproof.

<That would be a trick worth knowing. Be nice to slip out whenever I want to. But first I'll have to find him.> He looked at the woman stepping through the doorway. <Soon, my dear. Soon.> But for the moment, he needed to find another target to vent his urges on.

* * * * *

Jess was returning from a midnight run as a wolf. The full moon had been impossible to resist. She hadn't killed, just stretched her four legs and gloried in the senses of the predator she could become at will.

She walked into her room and checked for messages. Nothing. <That's odd. I should have heard something from Alex by now unless I'm getting the brush off.> Jess decided to walk by his room and see if he was awake.

There was a light coming from under the door to his room. Jess knocked at the door. "Alex? You in there?"

She heard someone moving clumsily around inside. She pushed at the unlocked door and stepped through it.

Krycek sat on the couch. "Jess? Whacha doin' h're?" He looked at her through unfocused eyes, red from crying.

Jess surveyed the scene. A bottle of vodka, half empty, sat on the table. That was more than enough to clue her into what had happened.

"I haven't heard from you at all today. I was worried," She paused, trying to judge exactly how drunk he was. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Done awf'l th'ngs. Doan't deserv' forg'v'n'ss. Luv you, but doan't deserv' to be luved.."

"Oh Alex," Jess whispered, stunned. <To hell with it. I don't care anymore.> She dropped onto the couch beside him, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you too. I don't care what you've done."

"Wha?" Krycek blinked. <Did I just hear right?>

She took his head in her hands. "I love you. But we can't talk about this while you're like this." She stood back up, tugging him with her. "C'mon, let's get you into bed so you can sleep it off."

* * * * *

Krycek woke up, abruptly alert. His time on the run had turned him into a light sleeper. <God, what a headache!> He recognized that he was in his bed. <How the hell did I end up here? I thought I was on the couch... oh shit!> He remembered Jess showing up and thought he remembered saying he loved her. <Stupid, stupid, *stupid*. She could *never* return those feelings. Musta hallucinated her reaction.> He tried to get up, but was hampered by a weight around his midriff.

He rolled over gently, hoping against hope. The lovely arm that was thrown around him did belong to Jess. Still dressed, like himself, she was stretched out beside him asleep. <Then last night did happen.> He softly traced his fingers over her cheek and lips.

Jess stirred lightly under his touch. Those luminous dark eyes opened. "Morning, Alex," she said, kissing his fingers lightly.

"Morning, Jess," he said shyly. "Still here?"

"I didn't think it would be good for you to wake up alone. And I couldn't make myself leave. So technically, we've slept together." She rolled onto her back. "Do you want to talk about last night?" Jess's voice wasn't demanding, just offering.

"I don't know where to start." He reached for her hand. His fingers interlaced with hers.

"How about with 'I love you'? Unless it was the booze talking and not your heart."

He heard the uncertainty in her voice. "It wasn't the booze." He shifted, laying half on, half off her. "I love you with all the heart I thought I didn't have." <I won't hurt her. I won't let anyone hurt her. I won't allow it to happen.>

"Alex, I don't know what you did," she said, looking deep into his eyes. "And I don't really care. I've done some awful things too. All I care about is the fact that you love me and I love you." She pulled his head to hers and kissed him slowly.

This kiss was different from their previous ones. It was bonding them closer emotionally and hinting at the delicate passion and pleasure awaiting them.

Jess smiled at him when the kiss ended. She started to lightly massage his shoulders. "So, how's your hangover?"

"I'm not nauseous, thank God for small favors. But I do have a horrible headache," Krycek winced, playing for sympathy.

Jess nodded. "You know," she said, drawing her fingers down his spine. "I heard somewhere that sex is supposed to be a cure for headaches. Interested in testing that theory?"

He grinned. "You know, I always hated doing research in school. But in this case...." He pressed himself down on her, kissing her feverishly.

"Alex," Jess growled low.

He ripped off their shirts. Krycek, straddling one thigh, was kissing and nipping her exposed flesh. Panting, he fumbled with the catch on her bra.

Jess pushed him back so she could look in his eyes, fear and desire spilling from hers. "I have scars, Alex."

Krycek responded by leaning down and capturing her mouth. He closed his eyes and slid his tongue between her lips. While he was pleasuring her, his hands moved to Jess's back, undoing her bra. He slid the lace and elastic away from her body. The scars she had told him about had faded with age and weren't that noticeable. Slicking her skin with the tip of his tongue, Krycek moved from her lips down her chin and neck to stop her left breast.

Jess's hands traced his chest, caressing each nipple before sliding down his abdomen. They stopped at his fly to tease it open. She stroked him lightly through his cotton briefs, swirling her finger just below the damp spot that appeared.

He moaned at the gentle contact. "Jessica," he breathed. Before she could start any serious touching, he pulled her arms above her head, pinning her there. Bending low over her, Krycek slowly started thrusting against her hips.

The pager in Jess's pocket, set to vibrate, went off.

So did Krycek. "Oh shit!" he yelled, collapsing onto Jess, breathing hard. Then he rolled off of her and onto his side, refusing to face her.

"What's wro... oh." Jess said as she reset her pager. "It's okay, not your fault. You were just a little... overstimulated." She put an arm over his chest, spooning into him. "Please, don't pull away from me."

<Did I just hear right?> Krycek rolled over to face her. "You don't blame me?" he croaked. The last time he had been with a woman, he came prematurely then also. His partner's complaints and insults had been loud and long.

"No, I don't," Jess reassured. She gently stroked his cheek. "We were excited, it's been a while for both of us, and," she shrugged her shoulders, "these things happen. And if it's a regular problem, we'll work through it." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Why don't you go clean up while I see who paged."

Krycek returned the kiss gently. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Funny, I'm asking myself the same thing," Jess said as she got out of the bed. "Mind if I use the phone?"

"Go ahead. I think I need a shower. Feel free to join me, but I'm not certain anything will happen." Krycek was still waiting for Jess to belittle him.

"Would you stop being so hard on yourself?"

Krycek winced again. This time it wasn't a play for sympathy.

<Did I just say 'hard on'? Open mouth, insert foot,> Jess sighed. She crossed the room and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Sorry, poor choice of words." She leaned against him. "I don't know who hurt you, but I'm not like that. So stop setting yourself up. I'm not gonna intentionally cause you pain."

Krycek rested his head against her bare shoulder. Jess wrapped her arms his neck. He started to tremble. She gently rocked side to side. "I wish you could trust me more," Jess whispered.

His arms wrapped desperately around her waist. "Jess, if I told you some of the things I've done, you'd hate me afterwards." Krycek's voice broke in a sob. "I can't risk losing you."

Jess's pager, now set to audio, went off again.

"Damn electronic leash," she murmured. One hand slid from his neck down and around his back and side to her waist and shut off the intruding noise. "Listen, go take your shower. I'll check my voice mail and then we'll get some breakfast and talk."

Krycek slowly disentangled himself from Jess's embrace. <If things were only that easy.> "Okay. Give me about ten minutes." He stepped into the bathroom.

Jess sighed as she pulled her clothes back on. <Whoever called me, I'm going to kill them.> She picked up the phone.

"Jess, it's Mulder," came the recorded message. "There was another murder last night. Call back and we'll get you into the crime scene."

<Damn! Of all the rotten luck.> Jess slammed the receiver down. She'd have to go, because it would be another month before she could possibly pick up the killers scent if she didn't. "Alex?" she called stepping into the humidity of the bathroom.

Krycek poked his head out of the shower. "Something wrong, Jess?"

"I'm sorry, hon, but I've got to go." Jess sounded apologetic. "It's an emergency."

"Okay..." <Yeah, right. You've changed your mind about sleeping with me.> "Whatever you say." The hurt in his voice was unmistakable.

<God! He doesn't believe me. What am I supposed to do now? Tell him the whole truth?> "Alex, we will talk about what's happening later. The reason I have to go now is that there's been a murder. I have certain, um, talents that my friend wants me to use, but I have to see the corpse where it was found in order to get the best results." <That sounds really lame. Why didn't you say 'I have to smell the ground and see if I can catch the other werewolf's scent.' That sounds more believable.>

"Right." The one word came out with a harder edge than he intended. His head withdrew back into the shower.

Jess's shoulders slumped. "I'll call when I get back." She left the bathroom. A few moments later he heard the soft click of the outer door closing.

<Hell! What did I just do?> Krycek hit his head against the slick tile. <She tried to explain why, and I just drove her away like a spoiled brat. Idiot!> he berated himself. "Come back, Jess," he whispered. "I'm sorry and I will make it up."

* * * * *

Scully watched Jess out of the corner of her eye as she drove. Jess had been very quiet and introspective since she got into the car. No cracks about Mulder, no comments about her interrupted sleep. Scully's curiousity finally got the better of her. "Jess, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" Jess said. She turned her head from the window it had been resting against as she absently watched the scenery scroll by.

"I said 'What's wrong?' You've been too quiet since I picked you up from the hotel."

Jess smiled ruefully. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll spill my guts. But you'll probably wish I hadn't when you here about this."

Scully grinned. "If I can handle Mulder's psychoses, I'm sure I can handle someone's who is under the delusion that she's a werewolf."

Jess chuckled a little. "Still don't believe me?"

"Not one bit."

"Okay, fair enough." Jess paused, putting her thoughts in order. "Shortly after I came here, I met someone. We've spent a lot of time together the last few days."

Scully nodded. "Mulder mentioned that you were seeing someone."

"Well, things took a serious turn last night. While he was drunk, he told me that he loved me."

"So what happened?"

"Basically the same thing that happened the night Mulder showed up at my place drunk. I put him to bed. However, I fell asleep beside him."

"And when he woke up you were still there."

"Yup. This is where things get complicated." Jess stopped for a moment. "When we both woke up, we started to talk about what he said last night. And I also had realized during the night that I loved him too, and told him."

"And so you two took the next step."

"Tried to." Jess sounded faintly embarrassed. "This is one of those things that, if we end up together, we'll probably howl over. Mulder paged me about this murder. I usually keep my pager, which was in my pocket, set to vibrate and... ." She trailed off. And started to giggle.

Scully started to giggle too. "You don't mean... ."

"Exactly. And he feels that it was his fault. So I tried to explain to him that I understood."

"But he didn't understand why you had to leave."

"That's it in a nutshell." Jess sighed again. "Dana, what am I going to do?"

"First of all, Jess, keep calling me Dana instead of Scully. Most of my friends do."

"Sorry, I, uh, didn't want to presume anything."

"That's okay. And second, I don't think there is anything you can do about, what *is* his name?"

"Alex."

"Alex's attitude. If he really loves you, he'll come around."

* * * * *

Mulder surveyed the scene dispassionately. <If this doesn't convince Jess, nothing will.>

The blue sedan pulled up. Scully and Jess got out. Scully flashed her id to the police guarding the scene and ushered Jess past the barrier.

Scully had slipped into her cool clinical mode. "What do we have, Mulder?"

"Caucasian female, early 20's. Was out jogging and... ." They all looked at the corpse with its throat torn out.

Jess, on the other hand, was anything but cool. She was scanning the ground, the bushes, the corpse, her eyes restlessly devouring the crime scene. A scent hit her as the breeze shifted. <Yes. We have werewolf.> She was edgily shifting her weight, trying to decide which direction to move. "Now *this* definitely feels familiar. Any animal tracks?"

Mulder pointed to the other side of the body. Jess skittered around to get a better view. He couldn't keep some vindication out of his voice. "This indicates that there is a werewolf involved."

"Try a pit bull. Here's the collar." Scully pointed out the broken leather strap with the id tag still attached. "The dog turned on his master."

"Yeah," Jess called back to her. She was standing on top of the embankment. "But usually a dog doesn't snap its neck out of remorse."

Scully and Mulder moved over to where Jess was standing. Hidden by the embankment was the corpse of a large dog. Its head was turned in an unnatural angle. In addition to the throat wound, three of its legs had been broken and deep gashes covered its side and shoulders. And a second pair of even larger animal tracks lead away from the body. "Exactly what I did to Rex," Jess muttered. "Wait a minute... ." She squinted at the corpse's hindquarters. "Mulder, is there any signs of sexual assault on the jogger?"

"No." Mulder wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"Well there was an assault committed, just not on the expected victim. Is that what I think it is, Dana?" Her nose wrinkled.

Scully had moved in to get a better look. "It does look like semen."

"Ten to one it's canine," Mulder said. He looked disgusted also.

"Five to one it's human," Jess retorted. <I hope.>

Scully interrupted their argument. "We'll know when we get a sample."

Mulder and Jess both looked up. "We?" they said simultaneously.

* * * * *

Jess returned to the hotel. She asked at the desk if she had any messages. Nothing.

<Okay.> Jess didn't want to go back to her room. After all the emotional roller coaster she had been on, she didn't want to lock herself away. <Maybe I'll walk to the bookstore. Get something sci-fi to distract me and go read in a park.> She walked out of the lobby.

The black man put down the newspaper he was reading. He looked over to the clerk behind the check-in counter. At the clerk's nod, he got up and followed Jess down the street. He quickly caught up to her. "Miss Jessica Leahs." A statement, not a question.

Jess immediately stiffened, but kept walking. "Who wants to know?" Jess glanced sidelong at the man in the trenchcoat walking beside her.

"You should choose your associates more carefully." Again a statement, not a threat.

Jess stopped and looked darkly at him. <Caution, girl. Step lightly.> "I'm not use to total strangers coming up to me on the street telling me who I can and cannot see."

"That wasn't an order, Miss Leahs. Just a suggestion, for your safety." The man brushed past her.

Jess stood there and watched the man disappear into the crowd waiting at the corner for the bus. <So much for going to the bookstore.> She switched directions and headed to the nearest pay phone.

* * * * *

"And then what did he say?" Mulder leaned forward, intent on Jess's story.

"Nothing, just walked off and got lost in the crowd." Jess leaned against the edge of his messy desk. "Then I called you."

Scully, standing in the doorway to Mulder's apartment, watched Jess and Mulder talking. Neither of them had noticed her yet. <They act more like brother and sister than ex-lovers.> The only time Jess had asked Mulder to act on the past that they shared was to save her, and her little girl's, life. Otherwise, she never brought it up, unless it was to gently tease him when it was just the three of them around. Maybe that's why she never felt threatened by Jess's existence in his, no make that their, life.

Mulder broke into a smile when he saw her standing there. "Hello, beautiful." Despite Jess's presence, he kissed her long and deep.

Jess watched Scully's reaction turn from annoyance to arousal as Mulder kissed her. <They really do love each other. I want that for me and Alex.> "Ahem, ahem, ahem, third person in the room," she coughed.

The kiss broke, but not the embrace. "You obviously don't know about his video collection, Jess," Scully laughed. "That's more likely to turn him on more than discourage him."

Jess laughed as Mulder turned red. "I'm going to get you later for that," he murmured to Scully.

"I'm looking forward to it," Scully countered.

"Yo, we've got some business to attend to." Jess didn't want anymore information about their sex life than she already had. "I was warned by a stranger to 'choose your associates more carefully.'"

That caught Scully's attention. "Any idea who?"

Jess shook her head. Mulder started to speak. "The only thing I can come up with is that we're getting too close to whoever is causing these murders and they are trying to scare you off, Jess."

"Mulder, that doesn't make any sense." Scully's voice of reason found the obvious hole in Mulder's idea. "We don't even have a motive yet, let alone a suspect."

"There is a way to find out," Mulder said. He picked up a roll of masking tape and placed an 'X' prominently in the window. "Jess, you might as well go back to your place. It may be a while before we have an answer."

"I do have one answer." Scully looked serious. "The DNA analysis came back on the semen samples found at the scene. It's not human. The closest thing it resembles is a dog... or a wolf."

* * * * *

Jessica returned to her suite, not in a good mood. Krycek's attitude at her leaving, and the following silence really hurt deep. Mulder being right didn't make things easier for Jess's peace of mind. And the stranger's warning didn't help any either. <Too many things happening at once.> All she wanted to do was grab some leftover takeout, let Alex know she was back <if he's speaking to me>, and get some sleep.

There was a flickering light under her door. Jess stiffened and pushed the door open cautiously. She then relaxed when the scent of her "intruder" hit her. <How did he... damn. I forgot I gave him the extra key.>

Soft candle light filled the room. A dozen long stem roses graced the coffee table. And Krycek stood in the doorway to the bedroom, smiling shyly. "It's about time you got back. The lasagna is getting cold."

Jess stood there with her mouth open. "Wha..., what is all this?" She gestured around the room.

Krycek crossed over to hold her. "It's my way of saying I'm sorry about this morning."

<Here we go again.> "I thought I told you that wasn't your fault."

"No, I'm not talking about my 'accident'." Krycek tilted her head back, looking into her eyes. "I'm talking about my attitude. You were trying to help, and I was being a brat."

She melted against him. "Alex, it's okay."

"No it's not. And I want to make up for it. Tonight, if you'll let me."

Jess leaned her head against his chest. She could feel the pounding of his heart, as well as her own. "Of course, I'll let you. I just wasn't expecting anything so romantic." She looked up at him. "I love you, Alex."

He brushed his nose against her hair. <God! What was I thinking this morning when I pushed her away?> "I love you, Jessica. Now, let's eat before the lasagna gets colder."

* * * * *

Four beings waited in the parked car. Three of them, one in the front seat, two in the back, were human. The fourth one in the front passenger seat could easily pass for human.

"He's late," the not-quite-human one growled softly.

"Patience," the man in the driver's seat. "You must learn better control."

The man sitting in the back besides the bodyguard lit a cigarette.

"I can control the Change the best of any of us at the lab. And do you have to smoke that in here?" Arrogance and annoyance crept into the deeply snarled words. He glared back into the rear of the car.

The bodyguard pulled a gun loaded with silver tipped bullets. He pointed it at the head of the thing sitting in front of him.

Cancerman's response was a grim smile. Looking into the werewolf's eyes, he deliberately took a deep drag off the cigarette. He exhaled.

The werewolf coughed and backed down. The bodyguard lowered the gun. "That is exactly what I'm talking about," the driver/trainer said. "You forget your place too easily. Just because you are the alpha male does not mean you can throw your weight..."

He fell silent as the rear passenger door opened. Mr. X got into the car. "She's been warned."

"Excellent," Cancerman said. "Has he been located as of yet?"

"Yes. He is staying in the same building she is. They appear to be involved, but do not know about each other's ability."

"That could be a complication."

"Give me the word, and I'll drag them both here by the scruff of their necks" The werewolf leered into the back seat. "But give me fifteen minutes alone with the bitch, first. She'll have forgotten him by the time I finish with her."

"Not yet." Cancerman paused, considering the options. "She has made certain allies and it would be unwise to move against her." He put out the smoldering stub in the ashtray.

"And Krycek?" The werewolf had an unholy gleam in his eyes. "What about him?"

Cancerman lit another cigarette. "He will be dealt with shortly."

* * * * *

After dinner, Krycek gently led Jess to the bedroom. It was also softly lit by candles. On the bed lay a red silken gown. "Why don't you go and change?" he asked softly, kissing her neck.

"Of course," Jess said quietly. In contrast to her eagerness this morning, she seemed strangely reluctant. "Although it's a waste of time. You'll have me undressed in about five minutes."

"Who said that I'll be that quick?" His hands slid up and down her sides. "Go on, I want to see how it fits."

"Um, Alex, I... ah, haven't done anything like this before." Jess's quiet voice was full of uncertainly.

"Exactly what do you mean?" Krycek sounded confused. "I know you're not a virgin."

"How to put this... ." Jess looked at him shyly. "I've never been, ah, romantically seduced. It was either the rough sex with the abusive boyfriend, or it was the swept away emotionally, impulsive sex."

Krycek held her close. "I think I understand." His lips brushed her ear. <She's more fragile than she lets on.>

"No you don't." Jess looked scared. "There are things about me that you don't know. Things that could change how you feel about me in a heartbeat."

Krycek stroked her hair. <She's just as terrified of this as I am.> "Jess, what did you say this morning? 'I don't know what you did, and I don't really care.' That is how I feel about you. We can talk about it in the morning. But tonight I want to spend in your arms. I love you, and I want to take you, but only if you want me."

"I do want you, desperately. Just give me a few moments to work up my courage," Jess trembled in his arms.

"It's okay. I didn't think this would freak you out so much. You were so confident this morning."

Jess laughed weakly. "I'm used to dealing with spur of the moment things. However this... ." She gestured weakly at the whole setup.

"We don't have to, if this is too much... ."

"No," Jess whispered softly. "I want to. Give me five minutes." Jess kissed him lightly.

"Take your time." Krycek returned the kiss gently.

Gown in hand, Jess slowly walked to the bathroom. She looked back at him. The love and acceptance in his eyes almost broke her heart. She slipped out of sight.

<Oh God. We're actually going to do it.> His heart pounded in his ears as he stripped down to the matching silk boxers he had purchased at the same time. Making sure that a handful of condoms were in easy reach, he lay down on the bed, waiting. He was getting stiff just thinking about what was going to happen.

Jess meantime was also changing. She slipped the gown on, which fell to mid thigh. <He did make a good choice.> The deep red did compliment her pale skin and dark hair beautifully. <Am I ready for this?> she thought. <I haven't been with anyone since Mulder, and I've known Alex for less than a month.>

Her heart gave a twinge at the thought of stopping. <I may not be ready for this, but I sure as hell want it. But I'm not going to make the same mistake. I'm going to tell him. Tomorrow.> "Ready, Alex?" She couldn't keep the tremor out of her voice.

"Ready," came the soft reply. Jess took a deep breath and stepped into the bedroom.

"Oh. My. God," Krycek breathed. She had been beautiful dressed in her usual jeans and t-shirt. Now she looked truly devastating. The shimmering fabric clung and draped to reveal the curvaceous figure she had but didn't flaunt.

Jess couldn't tear her eyes from his form. Her breath quickened as she eyed his hardened nipples, his heaving chest, and the bulge in his boxers. She took a hesitant step forward.

Krycek got up and went to her. He pulled her back to the bed, caressing her through the thin fabric. "I love you. I want you. I *need* you, Jess," he panted into her ear, and then sucked on her lobe. His hands slid up to her breasts.

She didn't need to be encouraged. "I love and want and need you too, Alex," she whispered as she rubbed her body against his. Her hands wandered down his stomach and under the boxers.

"Not yet, beautiful." Krycek gently pulled her hands away. "I don't want a repeat of this morning." His lips brushed against her ear. "Unless I'm inside of you."

His words sent a shiver throughout her body. She pulled him tight against her and fell sideways onto the bed. Krycek immediatley rolled on top, and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips immediately parted, and he found his tongue plunging into her steamy interior.

Jess's arm wrapped tighter around his waist. She tugged at Krycek until he rested his full weight on her body. Then her hand slipped to his bottom to squeeze and massage the muscle.

"Oh Jess," Krycek gasped. His lips moved from her mouth to her neck to kiss and nip at her neck. As Jess continued her massage, he slipped the straps of her gown off her shoulders. His exploring lips moved to her shoulders and parted to taste her skin.

Jess couldn't stand waiting anymore. She shoved with all her weight, rolling Krycek onto his back. She followed through, landing on top of him. <I can't believe I'm about to do this.> She sat up, straddling his thighs, and pulled the gown over her head. <He was hung over and couldn't see clearly this morning,> a snide little voice inside said. <Be prepared to be shoved off the bed and watch him run away.>

Krycek sucked in his breath sharply. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. His hands started to reverently touch the body above him, brushing up her thighs and around to her back. Up to her shoulders and around front to cup her breasts. She shifted underneath his touch, self-concious of her scars. He sat up and brushed his lips against her hollow of her throat.

Jess moaned. She took his head in her hands and gently guided him to her breast. Krycek took the erect nipple into his mouth eagerly, tugging gently. Jess gasped and pressed hard against his groin, amazed that he saw past her scars to the beauty within. He switched sides and began to suckle her other breast even harder. He laid back down, pulling her down with him. He urged onto her back with his hands. She made a desperate mewling sound as Krycek pulled away from her. It was almost torture for him not to be touching her. He slipped out of the silk boxers, springing to full length.

Jess started to pant at the sight of his erection. <God! He's *huge!*> She reached out to fondle him. This time Krycek allowed her to touch him. He moaned as she probed the smooth head and the long shaft with her fingers. She then pulled him forward until his tip just brushed her lips. Hearing his gasp, she grew a bit bolder, and ran her tongue along the underside of his cock.

Krycek pulled back from her touch, not wanting to come in her mouth this time. Breathing in ragged gasps, he grabbed a condom. Jess shivered as she heard the rip of the foil. Now sheathed in latex, he laid back down on her, letting his lips start at hers and roam downwards.

Jess ran her hands up and down his spine. Again he was at her breasts, but now he decided to go lower. He ran his tongue side to side over her stomach, not going any further than her navel. He played with the dimpled depression, thrusting his tongue in and out, teasing her and himself.

Jess took his head in her hands. She lifted his head to gaze into his eyes. He nodded at the unspoken question in her fiery eyes. Just because he didn't want oral sex their first time meant that she had to do without. She lowered his lips back to her skin and slowly eased his head further along her body.

He slowly slid a hand along the inside of her thigh to slowly part her. She gasped and lifted up against the gentle contact. Her fingers clawed at his hair as she positioned his head between her legs.

Krycek took that as permission granted. His tongue slowly began to lick the soft skin of her thighs. She moaned. Spreading her further, he began to explore her folds. His reward was a scream of pleasure. He found the center of her delight. He ran his tongue first over the sensitive knot of nerves and then into the source of her dampness. One hand reached up to rythmicly and gently squeeze her left breast. His tongue flicked between the two sensitive spots. Jess sobbed and shoved against the pressure he applied. Her rythmic thrusts got him even more excited. Unable to hold back, he pulled his head away and positioned his erection at her entrance.

Jess spread her legs wider and pushed against him. He ever so slowly breached her body, trying to memorize the moment when he first felt his true love ensheath him. He gave a breathy moan once he was fully engulfed by her hot, tight wetness. "Jessicaaaaaa... ."

Jess stared up at the handsome man above her. His back was arched forward, pressing himself as deeply into her as possible. His mouth had fallen open in a smile of pleasure/pain. He looked down at her, the dark fire blazing in his eyes mirrored in her own. "Oh God, Alex," she said, tears falling from her eyes. "I've forgotten how good it feels... ."

He lowered himself against her. She clutched at him desperately and pressed upwards. Her moan of longing was echoed by his. He slowly started to thrust.

Jess's hands were grasping at him. He could feel her body underneath him pressing upwards against his. Her lips were still exploring his face and neck. Jess pressed her mouth to his, kissing him frantically, fingers lacing into his hair. Krycek started to thrust faster and harder, unable to hold back anymore. His hands moved to her breasts, grabbing and releasing in time to his strokes. Jess came with a shuddering cry, almost convulsing against him, savoring the sensation.

She was still shivering in the aftermath when Krycek came with a cry of his own. He sagged against her as he erupted into her. "Jess," he whispered as he kissed her neck lightly. He slowly, regretfully withdrew.

"Alex," she breathed. She pulled him close after he disposed of the condom. She buried her forehead against his shoulder. "I love you," she whispered. "No matter what happens, no matter what you've done, I will always love you." Her eyes shut in drowsy contentment.

Krycek gently nuzzled her ear. "I love you, too, Jessica. Nothing else matters but that." His eyes also shut. <I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.>

Within minutes, they were both asleep, still holding to each other tightly.

* * * * *

Mulder was curled around Scully's form. She was asleep in his arms, nestled against his chest. Normally, her presence was enough to settle him, but tonight he just couldn't get to sleep.

<Who warned Jess? And about what?> Mulder mused. <Scully's right, we're no where near solving this case. It just doesn't make any sense.>

He was just starting to drift off when there was a quiet knock on the door. Mulder disentangled himself from Scully.

She stirred and opened her eyes. "What's happening?" she murmured sleepily.

"Someone's at the door. Stay here." He got out of bed and reached for his gun.

"Be careful," Scully whispered as he left their bedroom. She reached for her robe and her gun, in case she needed to back him up.

The quiet knocking came again. Mulder edged to one side of the door. "Who is it?" He cocked the gun.

"Mr. Mulder, I don't have times for these games." Mr. X sounded impatient.

Mulder opened the door. He just wanted to get the info and then get X the hell away from here. "I want to know who threatened my friend, and why."

"Mr. Mulder, no one threatened Miss Leahs. An unwise alliance she has made was pointed to her. And I think you'll find more interesting another bit of information I have."

Mulder lost his temper. "I'm tired of being jerked around and fed scraps of information that suit your twisted game. Either tell me what I want to know or leave." He moved to slam the door.

X didn't look impressed. "Alexander Krycek is back in town."

Mulder froze mid movement. His eyes hardened. "Where do I find the son of a bitch?"

"You know all you need to know for the moment." X turned and walked away. Knowing he wouldn't get anymore information, Mulder shut the door.

Scully stepped out of the bedroom. "I heard every word, Mulder."

Mulder clenched his jaw. She wanted to find Krycek badly, to punish him for being present when Melissa was killed. Almost as badly as he wanted to slit Krycek's throat for killing his father. "We don't need this now."

"Do we ever need it?" Scully sounded tired. "Let's get back to sleep." She padded back into the bedroom.

Mulder followed. "Why did he tell me about Krycek instead of Jess?" he wondered aloud.

Scully yawned. "We'll worry about that in the morning. I'm to tired to think straight right now." She curled up and pulled the blankets back over her.

Mulder felt himself slipping off as his head hit the pillow. <There has to be a connection... .> But the need for sleep overwhelmed him. He was unconscious before he completed the thought.

* * * * *

Jess could feel herself pressed against someone's chest. It took her a few moments to remember exactly who. One eye slid open to drink in Krycek's form. She felt a shiver of delight as she watched his muscles ripple as he stretched, and yawned.

"Morning, gorgeous." His hands stroked her back and bottom. He kissed her long and hard.

"Morning, handsome," she managed to gasp when the kiss broke. She pulled his head back down and picked up where he left off.

Krycek rolled Jess onto her back. He threw a leg over her midsection, straddling her, and started to massage her shoulders. His hands moved lower and he started to massage other parts of her body.

Jess began to moan softly. She reached up to entangle her fingers in his hair and pull him down against her. Her tongue insistently probed his mouth.

Their timing was horrible. Jess's pager, on the bedside table, started to beep, interrupting their foreplay.

Krycek rolled his eyes and backed off. Jess sighed. "I'll get rid of them quickly."

"I'm going to take a shower. Join me when you're done." He rolled out of the bed.

Jess gave him a wicked smile. "And if I don't 'join' you in the shower, I'll be certain to the moment you get out."

Krycek's inhaled sharply at the thought. "I'm going to hold you to that, Jess. You know that, don't you?"

"And 'hold' me to something else, I hope." She reached for the pager as he went to the bathroom.

Jess reached for the phone and dialed the number on her pager.

"Scully," came the voice on the other end.

"Hey Dana, this is Jess. You buzzed?"

"Jess we have a new problem. Mulder and I need to talk to you right away, at the FBI office."

"Okay. When do you want me there? I just woke up."

"Let me pick you up around 10:30. That enough time?"

Jess glanced at the clock. Nine fifty six. "Uh, okay. See you in a bit."

* * * * *

"Jess," Krycek called. "I'm out, now. What to you want to eat?" He finished drying off.

No answer. He padded out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Jess?"

He saw the piece of paper laying across the pillows. <Oh shit! She didn't have the guts to say 'goodbye and have a good life' to my face.> With a trembling hand, he picked up the paper.

"Dearest Alex - No, this isn't a 'Dear John' letter. Sorry to run off like this, but it's an emergency. Meeting a friend downstairs at 10:30. Details when I get back, not sure when that will be. Will call if it gets too late. I love you. Jessica."

His body slumped in relief. <Thank you, whoever's up there... Wait. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her about this.> He looked at the clock. It was ten thirteen. If he hurried, he might be able to catch her.

Krycek threw on his clothes and hurried downstairs. He had just stepped out of the elevator and into the crowded lobby when he spotted Jess talking to...

Dana Scully?!?!

<Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! OH GOD!> He backpedaled into the elevator. Neither Jess nor Scully had spotted him.

The doors slid shut. Alone, he slumped against the wall for support. He put a hand to his forehead in an attempt to clear his mind. <Okay. She knows Scully. That means that she must know... oh shit! Mulder *must* be the ex-boyfriend she's here to help.>

<But she doesn't have a clue as to who I am.> The thought brought a wave of relief over him. Her actions had been so open, so honest, that he felt certain that it wasn't a ploy by either the Cigarette Smoking Man or Mulder and Scully to entrap him. <I can't leave her. I love her, and I've got to protect her. If I play this carefully, she won't get hurt.>

The door to the elevator opened on his floor. All he wanted to do was to get to his room so he could change clothes and think over this new complication. <How am I going to tell her?> He wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings.

He walked into the right hook. His head snapped back and it slammed against the closed doors. As he slid to the floor, fading into darkness, he heard one of the voices he never wanted to hear again.

"Mr. Krycek, did you really think you could escape us so easily?" The smell of cigarette smoke assaulted his nostrils. He coughed weakly and lost the last grasp on consciousness.

* * * * *

Jess sat in the basement office, waiting to find out why she was here. Scully had gone off in search of Mulder. <It's a day too late for the werewolf to have attacked again.> So she idly amused herself looking at the oddities Scully and Mulder had collected over the course of their cases.

She looked up as Mulder and Scully entered the room. She changed her mind about the smart remark she was about to make when she saw the serious expressions on their faces. "What's wrong?"

"Jess, we have a new problem. I want you to go after someone."

She had never heard Mulder sound so serious or so hell bent on revenge. "Who is it and what has he done?"

Scully stepped forward, also angry. "His name is Krycek. He killed Mulder's father and my sister Melissa."

Jess's jaw clenched. "That makes it personal. Where do I find him?"

"We don't know." Mulder's fist closed. "All we know is that he is in town, which can't be good news."

"So I'll put our other hunt on hold. Do you have a picture?"

"Yes." Scully leafed through the file she was carrying. "Here it is." She handed the eight by ten glossy to Jess.

Jess glanced at the picture. She started and stared. Her eyes grew wide. "Oh shit. No!" The blood drained from her face. Tears started to fall.

Mulder was surprised by her reaction. "You know him?"

Jess bowed her head. "You could say that... ."

* * * * *

Jess led Mulder and Scully into the hotel. "He's going to be in one of two places, his room or mine."

Mulder nodded. "Let's check his first." They didn't have any FBI backup. As Jess had said earlier, this one was personal.

They got into the room with the key Krycek had given Jess. However, someone had gotten there first. Everything had been turned inside out. "Damn." Mulder muttered.

"Looks like someone else wants him just as bad." Jess hadn't said much since she had been told the whole story. She had just told Mulder that she and Krycek had been 'involved.' Scully had a guess as to how involved, but Mulder, as usual, didn't have a clue. "I guess my room is next."

They went up to the next floor. Jess pulled out her key. "I can't do this." She handed the key to Mulder.

Her room hadn't been touched. The half melted candles still sat in their holders scattered around the room. Jess sat on the couch as Scully and Mulder searched the room.

Mulder stuck his head in the bedroom. He pulled it back out and looked at Jess. "You didn't. Tell me you didn't."

Jess blushed and wouldn't look at him. She nodded once slightly.

"Jessica." He sounded disappointed. "I can't believe you slept with him."

"That is not important at the moment, Mr. Mulder." Mr. X stepped into the room.

Jess stiffened. "You're the one who warned me, but you were warning me about Krycek, not Scully and Mulder."

"And you chose to disregard that warning, Miss Leahs." X stepped further into the room.

"Only because I didn't know." Jess stood up. "Where can I find him?" Jess paced forward. "If you know about me and Krycek, then you know what I am, and what I'm willing to do to get that information."

"I'm well aware of your condition, Miss Leahs."

"Where do we find Krycek?" Mulder repeated Jess's question.

"That I cannot tell you. However I can suggest you search this location." He handed a slip of paper to Scully.

Scully glanced at it. "I don't think we'll be interested in touring a genetic pharmaceutical company."

"Things that go on in that lab shouldn't happen to a dog."

Mulder caught the hint. "Or a wolf."

"Exactly."

* * * * *

Krycek could feel the steel handcuffs cutting off his circulation. He was sitting on a chair, but which direction was up was a mystery.

"Wake up!" a voice hissed. Cold water splashed into his face, soaking his hair. He sputtered, coughed and managed to open his eyes. In front of him stood Cancerman, Alpha Wolf, and the Trainer. Scraps of their conversation floated towards him.

"Are the others secured?"

"Yes sir, with the exception of the Alpha Wolf and Krycek. We were waiting for the final decision."

"Excellent. Now we just have one last piece of business to attend to." Cancerman lit another cigarette.

A shrill siren filled the air. Alpha ran to the window. "They are sitting in a car outside," he said as he peered out. "Wait a moment, she's with them." The pure lust in his voice was evident.

Krycek stared darkly at Alpha. "Oh I forget," Alpha looked back at Krycek, leering. "I have competition for the bitch's affection. Don't worry, when I take her, you can watch."

"There is no time for that." Trainer sounded irritated. He turned to Cancerman. "Sir, I respectfully suggest that you let myself handle this situation."

"Agreed. Do nothing to our 'guests.' However, Krycek must be terminated." Cancerman left the room.

"Wait a moment." Alpha sounded worried. "I see a fourth person."

Trainer moved to the window, shoving Alpha out of the way. "I don't see any... ."

Alpha's arms moved almost too fast to track. He grabbed Trainer's neck and twisted. There was a quiet crack as the cervical vertebrae snapped.

Alpha cast the body to one side. "You're next. But first," his voice grated against Krycek's ears, "I'm gonna have some fun with your girlfriend." He left the room, grinning lustfully.

Krycek took a deep breath. With a slight effort, he broke the cuffs. <I must be stronger than they realize.> He searched the corpse for the keys to remove the bracelets. He also left the room.

* * * * *

They sat parked in front of the building. The lab had a storage facility attached to it. Jess was all for searching it first. However Mulder and Scully overrode her.

Getting into the lab itself wasn't as hard as it should have been. For it being a high security lab, it was ridiculously easy to override security. "Almost as if someone wants us to get in," Scully murmured ominously.

They slowly explored the building. There were many cages for large animals, but all suspiciously empty. "Someone cleaned house," Mulder whispered.

Jess had moved into the next room. "Check this out," her voiced echoed.

Scully and Mulder stepped into a room filled with file cabinets. Jess was standing on tiptoe, rifling through one. "This one is the L's." She pulled out a bulky stack of papers and put them inside her shirt. "Mine," she said by way of explanation. She walked towards a stairway at the back of the room.

Mulder and Scully checked the K's. There was a slim file marked "Krycek, A." followed by a recent date. "So that's how he got out of the silo," Scully whispered.

Mulder nodded. "Makes sense. He's out of sight already, so why not use him for a test subject. Jess, what date is on your file? Jess?" Mulder turned around, only to see her disappear at the top of the stairs into a doorway.

Mulder followed her up the stairs. He stopped at the top. A catwalk encircled the room. Inside were piles and piles of cardboard boxes. <The perfect place for an ambush.> He couldn't see Jess from his position. He started to circle the room.

Jess meantime had descended from the catwalk. She moved through the maze of boxes slowly. She was dreading finding Alex. <No. Think of him as Krycek, the monster who murdered Mulder's father and Scully's sister.>

Jess was having a difficult time. She wanted desperately to forget the emotions of past weeks and focus on the task at hand. She wanted to hate him for what he had done to her friends.

It wasn't working. Every time she tried to visualize him hurting Mulder or Scully, instead she saw him with her. Talking. Smiling. Laughing. Kissing. Making love.

<Stop it! You won't be able to go through with it.> Jess put her balled fists to her temples in an attempt to clear her mind. <Concentrate on finding him. Worry about what happens next after it happens.>

She heard, or was allowed to hear, the soft scrape against the cement floor. <Oh hell. There he is. It's come down to this.> The sound had come from the other side of the boxes. She slowly started to edge around the cardboard mountain.

The boxes exploded down onto her. Jess was knocked to the ground. Trying to bat the boxes aside, she rolled over and scrambled forward on all fours.

A hand grabbed her ankle, yanking her backwards. "Oh no, bitch," a strange male voice said. "You're not going anywhere. Not until we've had some fun." A second hand clamped down on her inside thigh. The pressure on her ankle suddenly released, but before she could take advantage of it, a fist slammed into the side of her head.

Jess collapsed onto the cement floor, hitting her head a second time. Stunned and in pain, she didn't resist as he flipped her over. One large hand pinned both her arms over her head. The other slid an iron bar underneath her wrists. With a casual strength, he bent the bar around, shackling her in place. One hand then moved to his pocket, pulling out a bandana. He gagged her with it.

He leered at her. "So, here we are, just the two of us." His hand stroked her face. Jess shuddered in revulsion. "I'm not so bad. You weren't so fussy when it came to sleeping with Krycek." His hand wandered down to a breast and squeezed. "I know what you are," he whispered into her ear. "And I think you'll find sex with an alpha male much more satisfying than what you've had so far with that reject from the lab."

Her eyes widened and she convulsed under him in a vain attempt to throw him off. Alpha grinned. "I'm not that easy to get rid of. And yes, he is a werewolf, just like me. I also know that you are too. I've been watching and wanting you for a *loooong* time." Grasping her breast tighter, his free hand moved to her fly, unzipping her slowly.

Jess's scream was muffled by the gag.

But it was still loud enough to summon help. "Get the hell away from her, bastard!" Krycek's scream of outrage echoed in Jess's ears. She saw a blur above her head and felt Alpha's weight disappear. She curled upright and shook her head, managing to clear it.

The sight that met her eyes surprised her. Krycek, face twisted in rage, was bent over Alpha, repeatedly slamming his fist into the face of her attacker. Alpha sprawled, apparently unconscious from the beating. She tried to say his name, "Mmffhh?"

Krycek turned to her, his expression softening. "Oh God, Jess. I didn't want you to get hurt." He knelt down beside her, tears falling from his eyes. Using his werewolf strength, he bent the bar back from her wrists, pulled the gag from her mouth, and put a hand gently to her bruised cheek. "Can you forgive me?"

Mulder watched from his vantage point on the catwalk, gun drawn, trained on Krycek. He stiffened as Krycek moved towards Jess. <If he so much as looks at her wrong, I'm going to blow his head off.> Much to Mulder's disgust, Jess wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her head in his shoulder. Neither of them were paying attention to... . "Jess! Look out!"

Alpha, with a roar of outrage, pulled the two of them apart. "You, I'll deal with later," he growled, shoving Jess backwards. She landed on her side a few feet away. "And as for you," he said, turning to Krycek. A fist slammed into his face, knocking him unconscious. Alpha dropped him to the ground.

Jess, still on the ground, wasn't about to give up without a fight. "Let him go, you son of a bitch!" she ground out through clenched teeth as she kicked with all her strength, connecting with the back of his knee.

Alpha staggered forward, almost tripping over Krycek. "How *dare* you attack me, you little whore!" He kicked her viciously in the abdomen. Jess grunted, clutching at her stomach. He picked up Jess by the loose fabric of her shirt, jerking her off her feet.

Mulder took aim. When Alpha moved towards Jess, he found he had the perfect clear shot at Krycek. All he had to do was pull the trigger... .

And then Jess's words from earlier echoed in his head. "Besides Mulder, sometimes the best revenge doesn't involve direct physical violence." His eyes narrowed.

He fired.

Scully ran through the catwalk doorway only to see the brute holding Jess collapse, blood fountaining from a shoulder would. Jess picked herself up and staggered to an unconscious Krycek, sobbing hysterically. Mulder moved woodenly down the stairway towards them.

"Mulder," she called. <There's no telling what he'll do. Krycek has answers we need. And if he kills Krycek now, Jess will never forgive him.> She followed him to the ground floor. Kneeling by a semi-concious Alpha, she cuffed him and then started to administer first aid.

Krycek slowly regained his senses. He was aware of Jess crying near him. Her hands on his arm tightened. He shook his head and managed to open his eyes.

<Shit! This is it. Pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye.> Mulder was standing over him, glaring. He was holding his gun loosely in one hand.

"You've earned yourself a forty-eight hour head start. I suggest you use it before I change my mind."

Jess's body slumped in relief. "Thank you, Mulder," she whispered.

The realization that he wasn't going to die slowly dawned on Krycek. Mulder wasn't going to kill him, at least not at this moment. He looked to Jess.

Tears were spilling from her eyes. "Go. Run," she whispered. "I love you." She closed her eyes, unable to watch him leave.

Jess felt his breath tickle her ear. "I love you. I always will. Remember that." She felt the soft warmth of his lips brush hers. She heard the receding footsteps.

She opened her eyes. No sign of Krycek. Just Mulder and Scully looking at her. She rolled onto her knees and cried into her hands.

* * * * *

Two Days Later

Jess sat on the bed packing the rest of her stuff. She mentally checked off her list. <Clothes out of the closet, shampoo and makeup out of the bathroom. That just leaves the chest of drawers.> She got up and slid the top drawer open.

<Damn! I thought I got rid of these.> Her eyes teared up as she pulled out the red gown and boxers. She sat back down on the bed, still holding the clothing. <I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry,> Jess mentally chanted as the tears slipped through her tightly closed eyes.

There was a knock on the door.

Jess got up and stuffed the lingerie into her suitcase. Wiping her eyes, she answered the door. "Hi Dana, Mulder," she said dully.

They stepped into the room. "Ready to go?" Mulder asked.

"Yeah, let me shut my suitcase." Jess moved into the back room. Scully, followed by Mulder, went in after her.

Scully caught a glimpse of red silk as Jess zipped the suitcase shut. "Keeping those?"

"Yeah," a glimmer of her old sense of humor reappeared. "I'm planning to make a voodoo doll."

Mulder smiled. "You're gonna be okay, hell beast. It will just take a while."

"Sure don't feel like it now."

"Give it time," Scully counseled. "You can't shut off your emotions at a moment's notice."

"Sure wish I could," Jess said.

"Don't we all," Mulder replied. "Jess, I'm going to ask you to do something. I'm not going to hold you to it, but I need to ask you to do it."

Jess swallowed. "What?" <I think I know what he wants me to do.>

"If Krycek contacts you, let me know."

<Shit!> "I can't promise you that."

Mulder looked disappointedly at her. "Okay," he said softly.

<Great Mulder. Make her feel worse.> Scully stepped between them, shielding Jess. "Let's get you to the airport."

"Okay," Jess sighed. "All I want to do is go home and forget."

* * * * *

Krycek stood outside the airport terminal beside the chain link fence. <Sometimes the best place to hide is right under your nose.> He hadn't left Washington D.C. after saving Jess, just left his things at the hotel.

The thought of Jess was painful. <Oh God. I want to be with you so badly.> But it was too soon. He wasn't certain that he was being watched and didn't want to endanger her anymore. <Why did I have to fall in love with her?> He had considering ending his life the first day after their separation. The only thing that gave him the strength to go on was her final whispered, "I love you."

Krycek watched as the airplane took off, bound westward. <She's on her way.> He had followed her from a safe distance, not allowing himself to be seen, but close enough to protect her if she needed it.

He grasped the fence, the mesh cutting painfully into his fingers Right now he had other pressing matters. He had to get some information, any information, that he could use to bribe Cancerman into protecting himself, and eventually his love. <I will be with you soon, Jessica. I promise. But it will just take a while.>

 

* * *

 

Disclaimer - Fox Mulder and Alex Krycek are copyrighted to TenThirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just playing with them. Jessica Leahs, Jake Farnsworth, Robert and Michelle Preston are copyrighted to me. Mystery the Cat is a loving composite of all the wonderful kitties I've ever known.  
Disclaimer - This is intended only for EMXC distribution at this time. Check with me if you want to post this somewhere else.  
Disclaimer - The first section of this story was lifted directly from Loup Garou - Life Mates (yet to be released). It is used with permission since I originally wrote it. If you can't plagiarize yourself, who can you plagiarize? ;-D  
Creative criticism/feedback is always appreciated and encouraged.  
Synopsis - This is the story Jess Leahs told Krycek in Loup Garou - Life Mates (yet to be released). A young woman buys an unusual piece of jewelry that alters her life forever. (Relationshippers, don't panic. This takes place before Mulder met Scully.)  
Rating of an extreme R for violence and sexual situations.

* * *

Loup Garou II - The Becoming  
By Shael -   
http://www.imadethis.org/loupgarou.htm  
Uploaded Nov. 26, 1996

* * * * * * *

Jess and Krycek laid in bed together, asleep in each others arms. Swept away by their emotions, they had pleasured each other until they were both too exhausted to move.

Krycek woke up first. One eye slid open to take in the setting sun. Then the second one opened so he could focus on the beautiful woman in his arms. <As screwed up as my life is, how did I manage to end up with someone so wonderful?> He tenderly brushed her bangs back from her eyes.

Jess stirred lightly from his caress. Her eyes blinked open to see Krycek smiling at her. She reached up to stroke his cheek with the back of her fingers.

Neither of them wanted to break the spell they were under. Afraid to speak, Jess settled for actions to express herself. She pulled his head to hers and kissed him passionately.

Krycek sighed and rolled onto his back. He pulled her on top of him. Grinning, he grabbed a condom and raised his eyebrows.

Jess grinned and let her hands and lips start to roam. Krycek also explored her tenderly. Aside from the occasional gasp as an extremely sensitive spot was probed, the love they made was silent and tender, each trying to express their feelings through the physical act.

Jess and Krycek collapsed back into the bed, sated for the moment. Jess felt content, secure in the knowledge of Krycek's love. But she still felt something needed to be explained. "Do you still want to know how it happened?"

Krycek nodded. He settled deeper into the pillows, keeping an arm around her shoulders.

Jess nestled down beside Krycek. She put her head onto his chest. She quietly began to speak.

* * * * * * *

I'm still not quite sure why I went into that second hand shop. I was just coming out of my bank and noticed the new store "Now and Forever Changed." Now normally I don't go to this type of store. If anything, I'll go to a second hand bookstore. Otherwise, I avoid those places like the plague.

Dimly lit, it almost looked like an antique store. Only instead of old elegant pieces of furniture, there were mostly old bean bags, lava lamps, and scarred teak furniture. Clothes from the last four eras lined the walls. In one corner, by a register that looked older than I was, were a few shelves of ratty Harlequin novels, old college texts, outdated National Geographics and a glass case. I wandered over to the books, thinking <You never know what you might find>. I was right, but not the way I expected.

I happened to glance into the case as I passed by, and stopped short. There, amid the cheap beaded necklaces was a ring. It was a wolf's head. The garnet eyes glared me out of the silver head, mouth wide open to expose long fangs.

"Do you see anything that interests you?" a crackly voice asked behind me. I whirled around to see an old lady, with a case of osteoporosis that made my back hurt just looking at her, standing behind me.

"Sorry," I sputtered, "I didn't hear you. And I am interested in that wolf ring."

"Ah, yes, that ring," she said. Pulling it out, the wolf seemed to wink at me. "It's funny," the old lady said. "I mark all the incoming items, and I don't remember marking this one. Must be getting absent minded in my old age..."

"It happens to the best of us," I joked. "How much?"

"Ten dollars."

"I'll take it." Why I said that I'm not really sure. I usually wear gold, and don't wear that many rings. But, I found myself outside, ten bucks poorer, and with an unusual ring. I pulled it out of the recycled plastic bag to get a better look at it in the sunlight. The garnet eyes glimmered in the light. The fangs appeared to have been enameled in white. What appeared as a snarl in the store now looked like a smile. Looking at the inside band, I noticed some some scratches. I squinted made out the words - Loup Garou.

* * * * * * *

I arrived at home, and began my daily ritual of banishing the ghost of my ex-boyfriend Jake Farnsworth. It still hurt that he had left me. Not that he was a great guy, in fact he was a jerk. During that last fight, I had threatened to leave him. He then slapped me hard and... did other things to me. Afterwards he burst out laughing. He told me that I wouldn't survive five minutes without him, that I'd come crawling to him, begging him to take me back. He left.

Permanently, I hoped.

As I entered my ground floor apartment, I heard a familiar meow. "Hello, Mystery," I cooed. "How did you get out of the bedroom this time?" The scared little black and white kitten I found crouching on my doorstep a year ago had grown into a self-assured cat.

Mystery rubbed against my legs as I pick up the mail off the floor. Bills, bills, and more bills. I was still getting the occasional letter for Jake, but fortunately none this time. I flopped down on my couch, pull Mystery on my lap, and clicked on the T.V. I pulled out the ring and gave it the once over again. Mystery looked at the ring and sniffed at its nose. She jerked back like she had been shocked, and raced off into the bedroom. "Psycho cat," I muttered to myself.

The words loup garou sounded vaguely familiar. I thought it was from some Arthurian legend. I decided to call Robert. Growing up next door to each other, we were best friends, almost brother and sister. He had a passion for myths and tragedy and had studied Celtic mythology at Oxford. I figured he could identify what the ring was. All I got was his answering machine, so I left a message and a description of the ring and asked him to call back.

All this time, I had a strong desire to slip on the ring. I had told myself I had bought it as a curiosity, something to give Robert, but now I wasn't so sure. The garnet eyes stared at me, practically ordering me to put it on. I slid it on slowly. As I put it in place, I felt a jolt of pain, yet it was erotically pleasant. I could feel shivers running throughout my body. I was sweating, but felt ice cold.

As soon as I regained control of myself, I tore the ring off my finger. Cautiously, I tried it on again. I felt nothing, no feelings of pain, pleasure, or anything, just the weight of the ring on my hand. <You've got one hell of an imagination, girl> I scolded myself. I rationalized that the previous experience was static discharge from the carpet.

I went into my bedroom and put the ring on my dresser. Mystery scooted out from under the bed, glaring at me. I got ready for bed, laid down, and coaxed Mystery up beside me. Normally she would be glued to my side, but tonight it took her a little convincing to get up on the bed. As I drifted off, my body still reacting to the sensations unleashed by the ring, I wondered what I could do to feel that way again.

* * * * * * *

I didn't hear from Robert until late the next day. I went on to work, my going nowhere cashier job, and then to school. It was my fifth year on a two year technical degree. Considering the mistakes I had made, it was a major miracle I still had my job and was in school. After putting up with rude customers, due projects, and bad parking at school, I was more than ready to go home and crash and burn.

There was a message from Robert waiting on the machine. It's a secondhand from a garage sale, and actually records every third word. "...Jess... ...ring... ...not Celtic... ...friend... ...to see... ...call me. Bye."

I punched in Robert's phone number. "Hello?" came a male voice.

<Great! I actually got him on the first try.> "Hi Robert, it's Jess. Just got home."

"Hey, Jess! How's it going?"

"The usual. What do you know about the ring I got?"

"Well, from your description, it isn't Celtic. More likely French. Not my area of expertise. I did mention it to a friend, and he'd like to take a look at it."

"You're not trying to set me up, are you Robert?" He had tried to hook me up with a few of his friends after Jake left. I felt too wounded to try again so soon.

"No, honest. But he is single if you're interested."

"You never give up, do you?" I laughed. "I'll stop by in a hour with it. If you're friend's there, fine. But don't expect anything."

"Okay, see you soon." I hung up the phone.

Mystery sauntered out of my bedroom. She stood aloof, deciding not to acknowledge my presence. "Would the Queen of the Universe like some dinner?" I moved into the kitchenette. "Let's see, beef in aspic, white ocean tuna, or roast turkey with gravy," I said reading the cat food cans. "Sometimes, Mystery my girl, I think you eat better than I do." I dumped the tuna flavored mush into her dish. Mystery stepped to it, and daintily started nibbling at the pile. I gave her a pat and got ready to go out again.

* * * * * * *

I pulled up to Robert's home in the middle of suburbia. It was the typical middle class home, just lacking the two point five kids playing with the dog in the yard. However, since his wife Michelle had set her sights on climbing the corporate ladder, it didn't look like that scenario would play out anytime soon.

As I entered the yard, the Rottweiler move as close to me as his leash would allow. He barked a greeting to me. "Hey Rexy, how's it going?" Rex responded by lunging and growling. That was the usual. Rex would usually greet someone, and then not allow anyone outside of Robert or Michelle and touch him.

I pushed past him and knocked on the door. Robert opened it. "Hi, Jess. You're a little early."

"Made good time. Is Michelle here or at a power dinner?"

"Late meeting at work. It'll be you, me, and Mulder."

"Mulder? His name is *Mulder*?" <God, what *were* his parent's smoking!>

"That's his last name. Doesn't like to go by his first." There was a knock at the door. Robert gave me a martyred look. "Please, Jess, *try* not to embarrass me too much." I stuck out my tongue at him as he opened the door.

That's when I first met Fox Mulder. He was a handsome man with a full lower lip that just begged to be kissed. I was suddenly conscious of my old t-shirt and jeans, my short stature, my pale skin and dark hair. Not for the first time, I wished I was a six foot blonde with a perfect body.

<Here's a guy that I could never end up with.> So I didn't go out of my way to flirt. I was my usual smart mouthed self. <I don't need a relationship now.> And I did my damnedest not to allow it to happen. So, begging off, I gave Mulder the ring and got the hell out of there.

* * * * * * *

"Jessica, can I see you in the office before you clock in?"

I didn't like the sound of that. Usually Mr. Hawworth would talk to you after you were punched in. If he wanted to talk to me before, it wouldn't be good.

I was right. "I'm sorry Jessica, but I'm going to have to let you go. Effective immediately."

I was surprised, but not extremely so. "Why?"

"Cutbacks. The corporate office thinks that we could run the store with five less cashiers."

"Dammit, I worked here for three years and I'm being dismissed because some CEO wants to raise his salary at my expense?"

"I'm sorry Jessica, but my hands are tied. You'll get unemployment, of course, but that's the best we can do."

* * * * * * *

Two weeks later I met Michelle for lunch. "So how's life going?" Michelle asked.

"Unemployment ain't what it's cracked up to be," I snorted. "I've applied for three cashier jobs and they all tell me I'm 'overqualified.'

"In other words, you want too much money."

"Exactly. Why pay for someone who actually knows what she's doing when you can get a kid in high school who's willing to take minimum wage." I shook my head. "I'm squeaking by on my savings and unemployment."

Michelle asked the thing I hadn't wanted to hear. "Why don't you ask your parents for help?"

I sighed. "Things haven't been great between us since I got involved with Jake. When he left me, I got an I-told-you-so speech from Dad, a disgrace-of-the-family, Rachel-would-have-never-done-such-a-thing speech from Mom. I would constantly be compared to my dead sister. I just can't go back to that situation again. If I went back home, I would never hear the end of it."

Michelle looked at me with an arched eyebrow. "Is there ever anything *good* going on in your life?"

"Once in a while, things do go right for me, believe it or not. Just nothing recently."

"Not even Mulder?"

"So you and Robert were trying to set me up." I grinned at her. "And no, I never heard from him about my ring."

"Well hang in there. Something's bound to happen sooner or later."

* * * * * * *

The dream's started a few nights later.

I was running on all fours. <All fours?!?!?> I was eating up the ground effortlessly with giant strides. I glided like a shadow through the back streets and alleyways. I was hungry. I was hunting.

I pause when I see a human lurking in the shadow of a building. He was watching the street, gripping a switchblade. A junkie. He was waiting for a hapless victim who would supply him with the money for his next hit. He was a predator, taking what he desired without guilt for the sake of an artificial high.

Little did he know that predator had become prey.

I dropped into a stalking posture and inched closer. Saliva dripped from my bared fangs. I barely suppressed a growl, not wanting to betray my presence... yet.

I heard footsteps approaching, the sound of someone jogging. Junkie and I tensed, ready to spring.

Everything happened fast, to the humans. The images were perfectly distinct to me. A young blond woman jogged by. Junkie was behind her, grabbing her and putting the knife to her throat. His demand for money was drowned out by my howl.

The howl of a hunter who has cornered her prey.

They both turned to look at me as I sprang for his throat. Junkie met my eyes for a split second. In that fleeting moment, I read the horror in his eyes. No withdrawal induced hallucination compared with *this* terror.

I heard two screams, one male, one female. I shoved Blondie out of the way, intent on my victim. Junkie had wet himself. He was sobbing, begging for his life. Ignoring his pleas for mercy, I tore out his throat. As Blondie ran screaming into the night, I let out a howl of triumph.

Now that the killing had been accomplished, I felt no desire to feed. The act of killing had been what I needed. The dream started to fade as I turned and slipped back into the night.

* * * * * * *

The alarm went off at 6:30 AM. I woke up feeling more exhausted than when I went to sleep. I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchenette. Mystery almost tripped me as she twined herself against my legs. I made some coffee and plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Mystery jumped into my lap. I stroked her absentmindedly as I half listened to the TV.

The news was talking about a young man killed last night, apparently by a mad dog. I looked up when they flashed a picture of the victim.

My mouth dropped open.

It was the junkie from my dream.

I felt nauseous. What was going on? Was I connected somehow to the killings? I hadn't heard when the attack occurred. <Maybe I half-heard it last night, and dreamed about it.> I crawled back into bed and managed to shut out the world and the questions in my mind.

* * * * * * *

I woke up again around 5 PM. Mystery was curled up beside me. I got out of bed, disgusted that I had slept so late when I should have been looking for a job.

There was a message on the answering machine. <Musta slept through the phone ringing.> I hit the playback button.

"...Mulder... ...information about... ...talk... ...call...." I was surprised to hear his voice. I had figured that I was getting the big kiss off. Fortunately, the machine decided to record long enough to get the phone number. I dialed it.

"Mulder."

"Hi, this is Jess Leahs. You called me earlier."

"Hello Jess. I found some information about your wolf ring. Care to meet somewhere to discuss it?"

"Actually, I'm not much of a social butterfly today. Feel more like a social moth. Would you mind coming here instead? Say in about an hour?"

"Okay. I'm just leaving the office now." I gave him my address and hung up.

I showered and got dressed. Mystery insisted on helping by shedding on whatever I laid on the bed. There was a knock at the door just as I finished after about forty five minutes. "You're early. Be there in a moment," I yelled. Mystery didn't take to strangers too easily, especially men. She got jealous easily and tried to 'defend her territory,' by scratching and biting, so I left her in the bedroom.

I opened the door. There stood Jake.

"What the hell are you doing here," I whispered. I was too shocked to slam the door in his face.

"Baby, I'm sorry about everything. I've come here to... ."

"Don't say it. I'm not interested. You made your feelings for me clear when you left." I moved to slam the door.

Jake pushed the closing door open and shoved me back into the room.

"Listen to me, baby, I want us back together. And you know I *always* get what I want." He reached for me and I backed away.

Part of me was cowering in terror. <Control, maintain control.> I also could feel something trying to take over myself. The urge to let loose and attack was growing by the moment. It felt like the wild dream of violence I had the night before. "Get out now."

A quiet "ahem" made us both look towards the door. "Is there a problem, Jess?" Mulder had appeared in the doorway. He glanced at Jake and shot a questioning look at me.

<Hell yes there is!> "No, Jake was just leaving." I glared at Jake and pointed out the door.

"Who's he, baby?" Jake stared at Mulder. He acted like he had a right to know about my every movement.

"Same thing you made me when you left. None of your damn business. Leave!"

Jake moved out the door. "I'll be seeing you soon. It's not over between us. You know that." He left.

I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. As I slumped against the wall, Mulder crossed the room. "Are you okay?"

"Give me a minute or two and I'll be fine. You have an impeccable sense of timing." Seeing Jake had unnerved me more than I cared to admit. I shook my head. "That's not the welcome I had planned."

"Who was that?"

"Jake, my ex-boyfriend. He walked out of my life about a year ago. Apparently he wants to walk back in." I sighed. I moved to the couch. "I really don't want to talk about this right now. Please, sit."

Mulder started to sit, only to stop at an indignant squawk. He jumped back up and turned to stare at Mystery. She was sitting on the couch, ears back, glaring at him.

"Mystery, what do you think you're doing?" I chided. I swept her into my arms and sat down on the couch. <So much for keeping her in the bedroom.> She was still staring at Mulder, moving uneasily.

"I take it that that's you pet."

"Mulder, meet Mystery." I was trying to get her to relax by stroking her. Her ears slowly came forward. She was still tense, but wasn't trying to get off my lap, or scratch Mulder... yet. "She was a stray. I think she was abused as a kitten. She's never been easy around strangers."

"Why do you call her Mystery?" Mulder placed his hand near Mystery's nose. She cautiously started to sniff it.

"Careful, she sometimes bites." Mystery pushed her head under Mulder's outstretched hand. She quietly purred as he started to rub behind her ears. "She has an amazing talent for escaping from whatever room I put her in. I still haven't figured out how she does it. When she first did it, I kept saying 'It's a mystery how you do that, cat.' And Mystery just sorta stuck."

Mystery, in the meantime, decided Mulder was an okay guy. She jumped down, stretched ostentatiously, and meandered back to my bedroom. I shook my head. "She's *never* accepted anyone that fast. You trying to make me look like a liar, cat?" I called after her. Her tail whipped an s curve around the door in response to my tone of voice. "So what did you find about the ring?"

"The words 'Loup Garou' roughly translate into 'man wolf'. In other words, a werewolf.

"Uh oh. Do you mean to tell me that I've bought a cursed relic of a lost tribe of vicious monsters?"

"No, I'd say you somehow got a hold of a prop from a Grade B horror flick."

I shivered in mock terror. "How have I survived the evil influence for the past month?"

"There's only one way to break its spell," Mulder grinned at me. "Have dinner with me tonight."

"If that's the only way I can be saved, I guess I'll have to do that."

* * * * * * *

Three months passed. I dreamed of a better life. I dreamed of Mulder, who was becoming a close friend. I dreamed of Jake leaving me alone. And I dreamed of my other self's actions.

<There's a pattern here.> The thought wouldn't leave me. I was having violent dreams once a month, from the point of view of a wolf-creature who would only attack someone about to commit a crime. The next day there would be some victim found with their throats torn out by... something.

I grabbed a calendar and started checking dates. The dreams I had coincided with the full moon.

I dropped the calendar. <No! It can't be possible!> I was delusional, losing my sanity. Werewolves aren't real, they're just a myth. There's no scientific proof they ever existed, let alone exist today.

I picked up the calender again. Tomorrow night was the next full moon. I would take steps to prove to myself that I was ill and needed professional help. I would end the fantasy that I had become a creature of the night.

* * * * * * *

I borrowed a video camera from Robert.

It was easy to set it up last thing before I went to bed. It was pointing where I would be lying, and had an eight hour tape. More than enough time to prove to myself that I was just having nightmares.

I clung to that thought as I slipped into bed, praying that I would be proven right, that they were just nightmares. I didn't even want to think about the other dark possibility.

* * * * * * *

I was running through the city streets. I was the spirit of the night, dark and dangerous.

The sound of a scuffle in an alleyway drew my attention. Two human scents wafted towards me on the night air - one alive, one newly dead.

I had found my prey for the evening.

I stalked into the alley and scanned for my victim. There. A dirty teenager, wearing gang colors, rummaging through the pockets the corpse of the rival he just stabbed in the back.

I repressed a whine of hunger. I started forward. My paws rustled some newspaper lying on the ground.

The gang banger looked up. He saw me leap at him, framed by the moonlight. As my teeth met in his throat, he was able to slice the knife into my left shoulder.

Now, I was *pissed.* It wasn't a major wound, but deep enough to make me favor my left leg. No one had ever wounded me during the hunt before. The cool logic of a hunting animal left me, replaced by the blood lust of a wounded beast. I worked out the rage by savaging the body. No one had the right to hurt me. Didn't they know I was the dark avenger who dealt Death at a whim? The dream faded into oblivion as I continued to disfigure the corpse of my prey.

* * * * * * *

I woke up with the details of my latest dream still fresh in my mind. I started to get out of the bed, and collapsed back down.

I couldn't put much weight on my left shoulder. It was throbbing. I glanced at it. There was a cut on it.

I examined my fingernails. There was blood under them.

I sat on the edge of the bed. My mind was refusing to process anything but one thought. <It's true. I am a werewolf> was all I was capable of.

I eventually took the tape from the camera. I put it into the VCR and prepared to watch it, mostly out of curiosity of what I looked like as a beast, not from the need to convince myself that I was a werewolf.

I settled on the couch in front of the TV. <Should be interesting> I thought as I started to forward search the tape.

There, an hour into the recording, I saw the Change beginning to happen. I had kicked off the blankets, wormed out of my clothes. I was panting heavily and dripping with sweat. I started to thrash about on the bed, wrestling with an unseen enemy.

I watched, detached and fascinated. The logical part of my mind was screaming <No! This *cannot* be happening!> The instinctive part of my mind felt like I was waking up from a long sleep.

On the screen, I started to contort into a fetal position. I saw fur bursting from the follicles all over my body. My bones were reworking into a canine form. I had thrown my head back, baring my newly grown fangs, as my jaws stretched and my muzzle extended. Four inch talons extended from my hands/paws.

Within a minute, the transformation was complete.

There I lay, now as a wolf. And I was a magnificent creature - as large as a St. Bernard, with a glossy black pelt, ivory fangs, and jet black claws. Deep brown eyes, the only thing that looked remotely human, blinked in the moonlight.

I leapt to the floor, shook myself and stretched like any dog would when it wakes up. I then slipped out the open window beside my bed.

I shut off the VCR. I clicked through the TV channels until I found a local news program. The top story was about the "Full Moon Murderer." He had struck again last night. The current theory was that this sicko had a large dog, most likely a large husky of some sort, that he was siccing on his chosen victims. I smiled grimly at the description. <They don't know how close they are.> There was a passing mention of the local police asking the FBI for help.

* * * * * * *

I got the phone call later that day. As if I didn't have enough troubles then.

I phoned Robert and Michelle. Surprisingly, they were both there at the same time.

"Hi, it's Jess."

"Hey Jess," Robert answered. "What's up?"

"I just got some bad news. I need you to take me to the airport and cat sit for me. Mom and Dad were just killed in a car crash."

* * * * * * *

The next month was a blur.

I know that there was the funeral, but I only have a few vague images from it. I do remember moving from their graves over to my sister Rachel's. <Ironic, Mom and Dad died from the same thing Rachel did.> It was hard to think about Rachel, even seven years after the fact.

One good thing was the fact that I got to talk to my brother. He was also a black sheep of the family. He had decided to go into medicine, but not the kind Mom and Dad had planned. Instead of being a neurosurgeon or a heart specialist, he became a vet. He was a good one too. I don't think I would have gotten through this all without him, and his wife, Annie, who was, ironically enough, a doctor.

What did surprise me was the reading of the will. I was the sole heir. Michael, my brother, had been cut out entirely. That I was aware of, but what I didn't know was how large the estate was. A lot had changed since I had left with Jake. I had gone from scraping by to independently wealthy in a day.

I spent most of my time sifting through Mom and Dad's possessions with Michael, keeping what we wanted and donating the rest to charities. I also tried to give half of the money to Michael. He didn't want any of it, except enough to pay off his student loans. I didn't want to move back to the house where I grew up. Too many bad memories. So I concentrated on getting rid of the stuff I didn't want. I also pondered my newly discovered werewolfness, which I didn't tell Michael about.

A thought wouldn't leave me. Maybe I could learn to control the transformation. Maybe I could learn to have more control over my beast-self. Not a cure, but the next best thing. Maybe I could even learn to leash the urge to kill. Admittedly, I was killing those who broke the law, but part of me worried about killing some innocent.

* * * * * * *

I got home late on the night of the full moon. I didn't want to bother Robert or Michelle and decided to take a cab home. <Hell, I can afford it now, so why not.>

I decided to try to stay awake. I wanted to be aware of the transformation. I felt that I could learn to control the hunting instinct, maybe channel it to other ends.

I stood naked in front of my dresser, facing the mirror. I dangled the ring and stared into its eyes. I hadn't put it on again after the first time, but I didn't want to be parted from it. So I wore it on a silver chain, usually tucked under my shirt.

Something about the eyes drew me in. I couldn't look away. I poured out all my concentration into outstaring those ruby eyes.

Then I felt the Change begin.

My skin started to itch like crazy. I lifted my hand to scratch my cheek, only to see shaggy black fur covering it. My nails were lengthening and thickening.

Then the wave of pain washed over me.

I dropped to my knees, except they weren't knees anymore. They were hocks. My instep had lengthened and my calves shrunk. My tail started to extend.

I fell forward onto my arms/forelegs. My tongue had become too large for my mouth. It flopped out as I panted, head lolling. My jaws stretched and my teeth exploded through my gums.

And then blessed relief. No pain. Just silence, except for the sound of my raspy breathing.

I looked around. I couldn't see into the mirror from my position. I stood about four feet tall on all fours. I reared up and looked into my eyes. They were the only thing that remotely resembled me as a human.

I jumped away from the mirror and through the window in one fluid motion. The urge to hunt was becoming uncontrollable. I ran without conscious thought or direction.

Part of me registered the fact that I was at Robert's house. I was prowling in front of the driveway.

/Strange dog-not-dog!/ came the growl. /Go away! Or else!/ Rex was loose in the yard. He had somehow slipped his leash.

/Not stranger. Friend. Peace,/ I barked back, wagging my tail. I didn't want to fight Rex. <Never thought I'd be trying to reason with him like this.>

Rex however didn't believe me. /Go away! Not dog. Not man. Don't belong. Enemy!/ He stepped towards me growling louder.

My ears pinned back. I growled and bristled myself. /Want friend. No want fight. No want hurt. Will defend. Warning. No threat./

Rex lunged for my throat. It was absurdedly easy to side step him and nip his hip as he passed by. /No fight. Could hurt. No want to. Friend?/

Rex made another pass at me. I was a little slow moving out of the way. He scratched my right shoulder with his jaws.

That got me angry. <No more Miss Nice Wolf.> Letting go of what control I had, I attacked. Rex gave a weak yelp as I locked my jaws around his throat. I hefted up onto my hind legs and shook my head back and forth like a cat worrying a rat. Rex's legs left the ground and swung freely. I felt more than heard the spinal column snap. I let go mid shake and watched the body arch through the air to land in the bushes.

The last thing I remembered was my bloody mouth opening wide in a savage howl of triumph.

* * * * * * *

The pounding on the door matched the pounding in my head. I woke up with a splitting headache. <God! Is this what an aneurysm feels like?>

I rolled out of bed. At some point I had pulled on a t-shirt. I grabbed my robe and stumbled out to answer the door.

There stood a police officer. "Miss Jessica Leahs?"

I nodded. <Oh shit! Someone saw me last night. They're here to haul me away.>

"Sorry to wake you, Miss. I'm Officer Malone." He offered his hand. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but something has happened."

"What?" <Oh hell! I'm in trouble now.>

"I'm afraid that your friends Robert and Michelle Preston were killed last night. We need you to identify the bodies."

* * * * * * *

I sat in the police cruiser silently. The officer, thinking I was in shock over the loss of my friends, didn't speak to me.

I was in shock. Just not the way he thought I was.

<You were there last night. You lost control and killed Rex. You lost control and killed Michelle. You lost control and killed Robert,> one inner voice chanted.

<No! I don't remember killing them. Rex yes, but my friends, no!> another inner voice countered.

<You don't know what you're capable of. It didn't take much to push you into a lethal frenzy. Just one little scratch, and you're a killing machine. Admit it, you enjoy feeling the life ebb from your victim.>

<I've killed before, yes. It was either to protect or avenge. And I've never killed more than once a night.>

<That you remember. What if there are others who have satisfied your hunting hunger? What if... >

"We're here." Officer Malone's voice interrupted my internal debate.

I stepped out of the car only to see Mulder ducking under the police tape and come towards me. "What are you doing here?"

"We thought at first this could have been another of the Full Moon Murders. I've been assigned to help investigate and wanted to see the crime scene." Mulder hesitated. "Um, where Robert and Michelle taking care of your cat?"

"Yeah, they were keeping Mystery while I was gone..." I stopped. "No. Not *her* too."

"I'm sorry, Jess. Mystery was stabbed repeatedly. We think Rex tangled with someone's dog. Michelle and Robert were found with their throats slit."

* * * * * * *

After identifying the bodies, Mulder brought me back to his apartment. "You shouldn't be alone right now," he explained. I was too heartsick to protest or care. My only comfort was knowing that I hadn't caused their death.

I walked through the door, not paying attention to anything. Mulder guided me to the couch. I sat down, numb with grief. I was staring at my leg when I noticed the cat hair that still clung to my jeans.

Mystery's hair.

That was what pushed me out of my shocky state. Tears fell as I thought about how I would never have to change Mystery's litter box again. How I would never try to decipher Robert's messages on my answering machine again. No more of Michelle and Robert playing matchmaker. No more lectures from Mom and Dad about my wasted potential.

I felt Mulder's arms encircle me. "Let it out, don't hold back," he whispered.

I gave in completely to my tears as Mulder rocked me like a child. I cried for Robert, for Michelle, for Mystery, for Mom, for Dad, for Rachel, but mostly for myself.

We quietly started to talk about the losses in our lives. I told him about my sister Rachel who had been killed in a car crash when I was thirteen. How my parents, out of grief, tried to remake me and Michael into the child they lost. And how, unable to deal with it any longer, I ran off with Jake, out of rebellion, when I turned eighteen.

He told me about his sister Samantha. About how she had disappeared without a trace. About fearing that she was dead, and fearing more that she was alive and hurting. A few tears escaped his eyes.

I was stunned. "God! How you have suffered. At least I know what happened to my sister. I'm not strong enough to handle that. I would have gone crazy if I had to live with that." I reached up to wipe the tear from Mulder's cheek.

I felt an electric shock course through me as I touched him. I was transfixed, staring into his eyes. It had been so long since I had been in this situation, I wasn't sure how to react.

Apparently he felt the same attraction that I did. He pulled me in closer and kissed me.

Part of me had been waiting since the day we first met. I ran my fingers through his hair. He moved away from my lips and explored my cheek, my earlobes, and my neck. I could easily feel his growing excitement, as well as my own.

I pushed away slightly. <Too soon since Jake. Dammit, I'm letting it happen again.> "We shouldn't be doing this," I whispered.

Mulder traced the contour of my cheek. "You're right, we shouldn't." He then kissed me again, parting my lips with his tongue. He slowly began to thrust into my mouth. I trembled and matched his rhythm with my hips. He broke off the kiss, leaving me gasping. "Are you sure you want to stop?"

"No," I whispered. "All I'm sure of is how much I want you." I started to kiss his neck. He moaned quietly as I slowly pulled off his shirt. He guided me to the bedroom.

He laid me down on the bed, and then knelt on the bed, straddling me. He brushed his lips across my forehead and then slowly began to work his way down to my right breast, kissing and stroking me through the fabric of my shirt. It felt good, until he gently nipped my erect nipple.

That is when I remembered what Jake had done to me.

I had felt so safe with Mulder, I had completely forgotten. <Shit! He's gonna see...> I froze up, unable to move due to the memory.

Mulder must have thought my sudden stillness was from extreme excitement. He closed his eyes, unbuttoned my blouse and unhooked my bra. Grinning in anticipation, Mulder opened his eyes to get his first look at my nude torso.

His jaw dropped. "Jesus! What happened to you?"

A network of scars crossed my abdomen and breasts - straight cuts that almost looked like surgical scars, stab wounds, and the jagged bite marks were still clearly visible. Some had paled to white streaks, but most were still bright pink to angry red. A year wasn't enough time for them to completely heal. None had been serious enough to need stitches, just severe enough to leave their mark.

I looked away from him, a lump in my throat.

Mulder put a hand on my cheek and turned my face back towards his. Infinite pity was in his eyes. "Jake did this to you,"' he said quietly.

I nodded. I had clicked over to the emotionally detached mode that I always used to think about that night. "I was miserable at that time in my life. I had threatened to leave Jake. He thought I was leaving him for another man. He told me that he'd never let that happen, that he'd make it so another man would never want me. I didn't know he had a switchblade on him...." My voice broke and I started to shiver.

Mulder pulled me in close and stroked my hair. He didn't push me to continue, just kept whispering that it was all right, that it wasn't my fault.

"After he finished raping me, he left. Said that he'd done *too* good of a job, that he could never become excited seeing those scars. Not that I wanted him to stay." I paused. "I've never told anyone about that night. Robert and Michelle knew something had happened, but not what. If I hadn't found Mystery a few days later and forced myself to take care of her, to care about her, I would have killed myself." I started to cry.

Mulder still holding me rolled onto his back. He didn't say a word, just offered me silent strength as I sobbed into his shoulder. His arms around me were the last thing I remembered as I fell into an emotionally exhausted slumber curled up on his chest.

* * * * * * *

I woke up late the next morning. At first, I couldn't figure out where I was. Then last night came slowly into focus. I was in Mulder's bed, alone.

<Hell's bells!> I thought. I then noticed that I was wearing my shirt again. <Mulder musta dressed me while I was asleep.>

Thinking about last night with Mulder was painful. <Well, it's obvious that I've blown any chance I had with him. Just ought to get out of his life and stop being such a foolish dreamer. Like someone like him would want me.>

I rolled out of bed. He had put my shirt back on, but not my bra. I looked around, but couldn't see it. <Fine, I don't need it.> My cowboy boots were another matter though. They were my favorite pair and I wasn't about to walk home barefoot.

I remembered kicking them off in the front room. <Just grab them and go.> I opened the door. I had figured Mulder had gone on into the office and I wouldn't have to face him.

Wrong. He was sitting on the couch, reading the morning paper. He looked up at my entrance. "Sleeping beauty awakens," he quipped.

I didn't want to deal with the rejection I knew was coming. "Shouldn't you be at work?" I growled.

"Finished the profile and called in sick today. Coffee, Jess?"

The answer came a little too quickly. I had heard enough of Jake's alibis to know when I was being lied to. "No, thanks. I'll just find my boots and leave. And don't worry. I won't bother you again."

"'Bother me?' Jess, you're not making any sense."

I sighed. <Looks like I won't be able to slip out.> "I know that after you found out what happened to me you..."

"...wouldn't want a thing to do with you?" Mulder finished. I nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "Jess, you didn't deserve any of what Jake did to you." Mulder was moving towards me. "And anyone who would turn you away because of that doesn't deserve you." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close.

I leaned against him, shivering. He tugged me back to the couch. "Did you get any counseling?"

"For about two weeks," I said as I dropped down. Mulder took the other end, giving me space, but also holding my hand. "Then my boss told me to either quit asking for so many days off, or quit my job. I needed the money, so I gave up the counseling."

"Bastard," he spat.

"Tell me about it." I sighed. "I was just bent on survival. My goal was to just make it to the next day."

"Ever thought about pressing charges?"

"When this... happened to me," I stumbled over the words. I still had difficulty thinking that night, let alone talk to someone about it. "...I didn't want anyone to know. I was..., am, too... ashamed of it. The one time I actually got as far as picking up the phone, I thought of the public humiliation that I would go through. That and the fact that I didn't want to face Jake again was enough to convince me to hang up."

"So, without any support from friends or family, no counseling, no nothing, you kept going?"

"Yeah, that's basically it." I paused. "Michelle and Robert kept trying to play matchmaker for me since a week after the shit hit the fan."

"Yeah, when Robert called, he kept telling me what a 'nice girl' you are."

"Hmm, sounds like something he'd do... I mean done. I'd avoided anything to do with dating, until you came along."

"Ohhh. So it's not me you're after. It's my PhD."

I laughed a little. "No, it's a nice bonus, but I'm not interested in being psychoanalyzed for free. Actually," <Oh boy, this is hard to say.> "When I first saw you, something inside told me that I could trust you."

"You can trust me, especially now." Mulder slid over next to me and touched my cheek. "I want to try and make things better for you. I know you want to leave, but stay. Please."

I thought about it. I couldn't resist the pleading tone in his voice. "Yes. I want to leave. But I want even more to stay." I leaned towards him and kissed him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled in as tight as I could.

I lost myself in the tidal wave of sensations. We were back in his bedroom. Somehow, our clothes had disappeared. He pushed me (I pulled him?) down onto the bed.

Being with Mulder brought me pleasures I had never known before. I had never experienced such passion. Every touch, every kiss, every lick, every stroke, every thrust left me breathlessly sobbing for more.

I finally came under his skilled hands, seconds before he did deep inside me. Mulder held still, except for the slight twitching in his loins, as he pumped into me. I sighed in contentment as he moaned his relief. He kissed me deeply as he withdrew. I could taste his tongue and my (his?) tears. Still pressed against me, he pulled the sheets back over our forms.

I buried my face in the warm skin of his neck, unsure of what to say. I had never felt so coddled in my life. At the same time, I never felt so panicked. "Mulder, what the hell did we just do?"

"Jess, do I really have to explain to you what happened?" His eyebrows raised and he wore a look of mock surprise.

"Mulder, I *know* what we did," I giggled. But I grew serious quickly. "It's just that a lot of things in my life have changed so drastically and so fast that..."

"... things feel out of control?"

"Yes." <You don't know the half of it.>

"The only thing you can do is take one day at a time. And I'd like to help."

I sighed. "Do you have any idea what you're asking of me?"

"Do you have any idea what I'm offering? Or how hard it is for me to offer?"

I thought about it. He had told me about his girlfriend from Oxford and how she had hurt him deeply. This had to be as hard for him as it was for me. "Yes, I think I do know. And yes, I do want your help."

"So how about I start helping you now?" he breathed into my ear, sucking my earlobe.

"Mmmm, you know me, Mulder, always ready for a little help."

* * * * * * *

"So do you want to tell me the real reason you didn't go into work?"

We were sitting in the kitchen. After our second bout of lovemaking, we had decided to get a late breakfast.

Mulder shifted uneasily. "Was it that obvious?"

I smiled ruefully. "Let's just say Jake gave me a lot of practice at telling when someone's lying. Now, spill."

"I was pulled from the Full Moon Murders."

"Your boss didn't want you sleeping with one of the murder suspects. I'm assuming I *am* a suspect."

"No, you're not. The cab driver verified your alibi."

"Then why?"

"Do you believe in paranormal phenonema, the existence of beings that cannot be explained by science as we know it?"

"Well, yes..." I trailed off. The sudden change of topic had thrown me off track. "I'm not so arrogant to think that humans are the only intelligence in the universe. Surely there exists on other planets..."

"I'm not talking about alien life forms. I'm talking about werewolves." There was an earnestness in his voice I had never heard before.

"Excuse me?" I blinked. <How much does he know about me?> That frightened me. I had thought I had been so careful.

"All the Full Moon murders had three things in common, a full moon, the sighting of a large dog, and someone about to commit a crime."

"But Robert's and Michelle's..."

"They weren't part of the pattern. I didn't gain a lot of points when I mentioned that this probably wasn't the same person."

I was growing uncomfortable with the conversation. "I hate to end this, but I've got to get ready for the funeral, if I can find my boots."

Mulder grinned lopsidedly. "Confession time. Follow me." We went back into the bedroom. "I figured that you might try to skip out on me," he said opening the closet. There were my boots.

I snatched them from him. "And where's my bra?" I said with my eyebrows raised.

He gave me a devilish grin. "How do you think I'm planning to get you back here again?"

* * * * * * *

The funeral was a nightmare. Well, not the funeral itself, but what happened afterwards.

Mulder and I sat together in one of the pews of the chapel. There were a few of Michelle's and Robert's coworkers. I subconsciously noted a late comer had sat down in the back, but I was too absorbed in my grief to pay too much attention to my surroundings.

That was my mistake.

It was after the ceremony. Mulder and I had split up to talk to the other mourners. I had just finished comforting and being comforted by Michelle's secretary. I was moving to an alcove besides the coffins, just wanting to be alone for a moment.

"Baby, we need to talk."

<Shit! Just what I don't need now!> He had been popping up where ever I was when I least expected it. Because he hadn't hurt me or threatened me, a restraining order was out of the question for the moment. "Jake, I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me." My back was to him and I did not want to look at him.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. "I told you things weren't over between us."

I tried to break his grip on my arm, but couldn't get the leverage. Jake laughed at my struggle. "You remember what I like," he said snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me in closer. "But I didn't think you'd be so eager to do it in a mortuary."

"You sick bastard," I hissed through clenched teeth. I was revulsed by his nearness. I slapped him hard with my free hand in an attempt to get away.

The sound drew everyone's attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mulder start forward, coming to my rescue.

Too late. Jake released his grip on me and slammed a fist into my face at the same time. The blow caught me square on the jaw. Off balance, I staggered backwards towards a pew. Jake's leg whipped behind mine, tripping me and sending me crashing to the floor. The last thing I remembered was the star burst pattern of lights as the back of my head impacted with the hard wood edge of the pew.

* * * * * * *

I woke up in my bed the next day. There were fuzzy images from after the beating I took. I vaguely remembered the hospital and talking to some police about pressing charges.

I slowly started to get dressed. It was obvious that someone brought me home, but I didn't have a clue as to who.

I padded into the kitchen, not really paying attention to anything. <Gotta feed Mystery... Damn!> Tears started to fall from my eyes.

I felt a Kleenex gently wiping my tears. I opened my eyes. There stood Mulder.

I managed to smile through my tears. "Hi there," I whispered. "You spent the night?"

Mulder smiled back. "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay. You had a pretty hard fall."

I reached back to feel my head. There was a large lump there. "I bet my jaw has turned lots of pretty colors."

Mulder nodded and reached out with his hand. He gently caressed the uninjured side of my face. I leaned into his touch, savoring the fact that I could finally trust a man who I had met as an adult. But I still couldn't tell him about my suspicions about myself. <Not yet, soon.>

"You okay?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I will be, but not right now. I just need some time." I thought for a moment. I wanted him to stay the day, and hopefully the night. "Would you mind staying around for a while? I don't want to be alone."

He leaned in close. "Especially tonight?"

"Yeah." I was embarrassed by my forwardness.

"Of course. All you have to do is ask."

* * * * * * *

Several months passed. With the full moon above me, I slipped out into the night. The Change was becoming easier to control, and the pain didn't bother me as much. In fact, I was starting to enjoy the relief after the pain. And the need to kill humans didn't consume me this time as it first had. Rats, squirrels, and the occasional gopher made excellent substitutes. Several sated my appetite, one here, one there, whenever the urge struck. Dogs I avoided, more because I felt like it would be killing my retarded cousins than any fear. Every time I thought about attacking a passing cat, I saw Mystery, so I left them alone too.

I prowled around aimlessly, wandering where I would, and not actively hunting anything. I found myself in the alley behind Mulder's apartment. <Pining to be with him, even when you're lupine.> I mentally snickered at the rhyme, but there was more truth to it than I cared to admit. I was becoming dependent on him emotionally, although I would be the first to deny it. And the sex wasn't bad either.

The hunting urge was growing. I put my nose to the ground and started to pay more attention to what I was smelling - old rat spoor, <at least a day old>, today's garbage <just turning ripe> and a human who passed by a few moments ago.

The human scent made me do a double take. It was familiar, too familiar.

It was Jake's scent. I had sniffed at an old shirt of his I found before I left home tonight. Something had warned me to be prepared.

I growled low in my throat.

I started tracing the trail. It lead inside the building, to Mulder's apartment. The door had been pushed ajar. My ears swiveled, listening for any noise. I heard the faint scuff of a shoe against the carpet.

I pushed my head through the space. The apartment was unlit except for the light from the TV, but my sensitive eyes still needed a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. Jake's scent, and the smell of whiskey grew stronger. I could smell Mulder now as well.

Mulder looked like he had fallen asleep on the couch. He looked like an angel compared to the evil look Jake had. Jake was edging to the kitchenette. He was muttering beneath his breath. Too quiet for a human to hear, and almost too faint for me to hear. "...told you to leave her alone... ...belongs to me... ...dammed if anyone... ...show her not to... ...mine and no one else's...."

It suddenly all made sense. I knew who killed Mystery. I knew who killed Robert and Michelle. I knew what he was about to do to Mulder if I didn't stop him.

My hackles rose as I slid through the open door. I settled unnoticed into a dark corner, waiting to see what would happen.

Jake moved towards the couch. I could see the glint of the knife in his hands. I could feel my muscles tense up, readying to spring.

A slight twitch of Mulder's arm made me freeze. He was awake and aware of Jake, but not of me. I decided to wait and see how this played out. If I didn't have to betray my presence, good. But I wasn't about to let Jake kill Mulder.

Even if it meant I would have to reveal wolf-self.

The idea of revenge also had a strong appeal. I wanted to toy with Jake, and not kill him outright. I wanted to make him *suffer* for what he had done to me. A quick death was too good for him. Maybe not even death at all. An attack savage enough to leave him alive, but a broken man.

Jake raised the knife.

Mulder's fist shot up into Jake's face, almost too fast for me to track. Mulder was up and off the couch, preparing to defend himself.

Jake had managed somehow to hold onto the knife. He repeatedly slashed at Mulder's throat, barely missing.

Mulder kept throwing punches. He managed to grab Jake's wrist, keeping the knife from his throat. But he didn't know what I did, when Jake was in a drunken rage, it was almost impossible to stop him.

Jake managed to throw a lucky blow. It connected with his chin. Mulder went down, stunned.

I had seen enough. I rose to a crouching position. I growled loudly. I slowly advanced towards Jake.

Both Jake and Mulder looked in my direction. "Jess, don't," Mulder whispered.

Part of me registered the fact that Mulder had said my name. But I was concentrating on Jake.

Jake stepped forward. "Come on, you mangy bitch. I can take you on."

That's what he thought.

I launched myself at Jake. I knocked him flat on his back. The knife went clattering across the floor.

Jake curled his legs under me. With all his strength, he kicked me in the gut, knocking the breath out of me. He ran from the apartment.

I bolted after him, ignoring Mulder's yells. I was hunting now with the singlemindedness of a predator.

I trailed behind Jake, close enough for him to know I was still following, but far enough that I wouldn't get kicked. I herded him towards a park on the outskirts of town. I wasn't sure how this would end, just that it would end soon.

I could hear Jake's breathing grow ragged. He was wearing out and was nearing collapse. I quickened my pace.

Jake dropped to his hands and knees, panting. I was hardly winded. I started circling him, feinting and growling. He flinched at every false charge I made.

Finally I couldn't wait anymore. I walked forward slowly and deliberately. I looked Jake in the eyes. There was only one thing left to do. I kissed him on the lips, pressing my fangs against his teeth, and then slapped him across the face with a taloned paw. Just like he did when I upset him with a 'lack of excitement'.

Jake shuddered as he realized who I was and what I had become. "Oh, baby, please don't. I'm sorry, baby. I won't ever bother you again."

I ignored his pleas. His hands gripped my throat as my fangs closed on his. "Nooo!" was the final noise he made, aside from his death rattle. His hands limply fell from my neck.

Instead of voicing a triumphant howl, I turned away silently. Jake's blood, instead of being sweet like my other human victims, tasted bitter. <It's over,> I thought. I turned my back on the body, heading back to Mulder's.

* * * * * * *

I sat down on Mulder's couch, human, naked, cold, and stunned at what had happened. But the Jake's death wasn't what had thrown me.

<Mulder called you by name when you were a wolf. He knows!> repeated in my mind endlessly. I shivered.

"Cold?" Mulder handed me a afghan, which I wrapped around myself.

I looked into his bruised face. "Hhhh... how long have you known?" I sputtered, finally finding my voice.

"I had a good guess since I first saw the ring. There are many werewolf legends where the catalyst of transformation is a piece of clothing or jewelry."

"And you didn't tell me? Just watched?" I was hurt.

"No. I didn't truly believe until tonight." He looked down. "I thought we had something special. I was hoping you would tell me."

I bit my lower lip. "I didn't believe myself until just before the funeral. And things happened too fast for me to keep up after that."

"Too fast?" Mulder sounded outraged. "You become a deadly creature once a month and things were moving 'too fast' for you to tell me?" He reached quickly for something on the table beside me.

I cringed back. The movement was too similar to what Jake did before slapping me around.

Mulder stared at my horrified face in shock. "Jeez, Jess. Did you actually think I would hit you?"

"I don't know."

"Jessica." Mulder dropped to his knees in front of me. "I would never, *never* hit you. I thought you knew that." He kissed me, trying to reassure me.

I felt myself relaxing in his arms. Mulder's lips traveled down my neck. "I would never hurt you," he whispered and pushed the afghan off my shoulders.

"Mulder," I whispered softly as he tongued my shoulder. The emotions of the last few hours finally caught up with me. I could only think of expressing the feelings I felt for this man. And I only knew one way to express emotions - physically. I knew what was going to happen next. Part of my mind was questioning what I was about to do, if I was so scared and hurt, I shouldn't let this happen.

I pushed the afghan off my body, baring myself before him. As he took a nipple in his mouth, the questioning part of my mind shut up.

We made love then, trying to comfort each other. Afterwards, we just held each other, not daring to say anything that might spoil the moment. But the damage had been done. We both knew it would just be a matter of time before the relationship ended.

* * * * * * *

I sat amid the suitcases in my apartment. Everything was packed and ready to go. Only one thing was left, and I was dreading doing it.

I couldn't stay here anymore. I couldn't stay with Mulder anymore. And not just because of the hurt we both felt over our keeping secrets from each other. <We never should have become lovers,> I thought. My problem was I tried to define who I was by tying up my identity with someone else's. That was what I had done with Jake, first being known as his lover, and then his victim. And if I wasn't careful, that is what I'd do with Mulder. And he was too good of a friend for me to let that happen. So I decided to move out to San Jose to be close to the only family I had left, my brother. We had talked long about it and both agreed it was for the best.

But that didn't mean that either of us liked it.

The expected knock on the door finally sounded. "It's open," I called. I knew who it was already. Hell, I had asked him to come myself.

"Jessica, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Mulder asked as he stepped inside.

"No, but I can't stay here after everything that happened." I didn't beg him to come away with me, back to the West Coast, like I longed to do, despite knowing that it would be putting me in the identity crisis that I was trying to avoid. His work and the search for his sister were to important to him. I knew that if he came out of pity for me, he would end up resenting me for the rest of his life. "There is something I need you to do for me, though."

"Anything," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I pulled the chain that held the Loup Garou ring from around my neck. I toyed with it. "I should have this destroyed, but somehow I can't find it in me to do it. I want you to take it and keep it safe." And my unspoken message was clear. <If you want to be with me, put it on and become like me.> I dropped it into Mulder's hand.

"I'll do my best, and I'll think hard about what to do with it," Mulder said softly.

<In other words, 'I don't know what I want.'> I thought. "That's all I'm asking." I paused. "The shuttle will be here in an hour to take me to the airport. My brother will meet me at the San Jose airport."

Mulder sighed. "Then I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah," I couldn't keep the catch out of my voice, "but I'll stay in contact." We both had avoided using the word "love" when we talked about us. But we did love each other, but that love wasn't the kind that could keep us together as lovers. Close friends, yes, but lovers, no. "You can expect me to pop up sometime in the future and complicate your life."

"I think I'd like that," Mulder whispered. Then he leaned in close and kissed me.

It wasn't a horny, passionate kiss. It was the two of us relishing the closeness to each other that we wouldn't feel for a long time, and possibly, probably never again.

The kiss broke when I pulled away. I didn't want us to end up sleeping together once more. That part of our relationship was over. It had to be over, or else I would go crazy.

Mulder understood why I backed off. He brushed his lips against my forehead. "Goodbye, Jess."

"Goodbye, Mulder." I watched as he turned and leaved. I sighed as the door closed on that chapter of my life.

* * * * * * *

Author's note - No matter what she thought or believed, Jake had no right to do what he did to Jess. If you are in a situation where someone is mentally, physically, or sexually abusing you, GET OUT! Tell your spouse, your friends, your parents, your pastor, your doctor, your teachers, the police, anyone. And if the first person doesn't help you, KEEP ON telling people until someone does listen and helps. 

 

* * *

 

Loup Garou III - Confessions  
by Shael  
  
http://www.imadethis.org/loupgarou.htm  
Disclaimer - Mulder and Scully, blah blah blah, not mine, blah blah blah, 1013 Productions, blah blah blah, Fox Network, blah blah blah. No copyright infringement intended. Jess and Lindy are mine.  
Disclaimer - EMXC only. Ask before you upload, please.  
Summary - No X-File, just some relationship angst between Mulder and Scully, who both turn to Jess for comfort. NC17 for graphic sex.

* * *

I walk to the ground floor apartment set back in the complex in San Jose. Exactly why I chose to come here I'm not certain. All I know is that I need a friend now. Especially now.

I knock on the door. A woman, not much younger than myself answers it. "Scully," she said, using Mulder's habit of addressing me. "I didn't know you were in town. Come in." The surprise was plain on her face. "What are you doing here?"

I take a deep breath. "I needed to talk to someone about Mulder. Someone who understands."

Jess Leahs nods. She is an enigma. Mulder's friend, and by extension of her feelings for him, mine. Ex-lover of the man who I love and who does not know. Confidant of something she shrewdly guessed in a moment of stress. And werewolf, or so she says. Aside from that single delusion, she is as normally mental functioning as the next person. Maybe even more so.

As I move to the couch, I look at the surroundings. Typical two bedroom apartment. Her adopted little girl is sitting in front of the TV, absorbed in some inane show. The blond child looks up and smiles at me. "Hi, Miss Scully." I smile back.

"Lindy, why don't you go get ready for bed." As the child leaves the room, Jess turns to me. "Need a place to stay tonight?" she guesses.

"Please." I don't want to go and face the lonely motel room. I didn't want to face Mulder tonight.

"You can have my bed. I'll sack out in Lindy's room." She leaves the room to make arrangements. That was typical of Jess. Giving her best when she didn't have to. I would have been content with the couch. "Make yourself comfortable. Hot water's just finished boiling."

While I wait, I make myself some tea to try to calm myself. It isn't easy. The words from our fight still ring in my ears.

I'm so concentrated on the memory, I don't notice Jess reenter the room. "Scully?" she says softly. I startle, dropping the cup I'm holding. It shatters into a million pieces.

Just like my life.

"Goddammit!" I scream in frustration. The sisters at my parochial school would have never tolerated me swearing. They taught me to control my emotions. But I'm not in school anymore. I let go of the tight rein I always keep myself on. I start to sob like a child.

"Scully, it's okay." Jess puts an arm around my shoulder and guides me back to the couch. She puts a box of Kleenex into my lap, handing me one of the tissues. "Let me get that." She disappears into the kitchenette and cleans up the mess. She returns to sit in the chair opposite of me. "Now, what's wrong?" She hands me a second cup of tea. I could smell the hot chocolate she fixed for herself.

I put the cup down on the coffee table between us. "Mulder and I were out here investigating an 'alien abduction.' A young woman went missing and then returned abruptly, claiming to have spent that time in space. A microchip was found embedded in her neck."

Jess nods. "Go on." She takes a sip of her drink.

"Mulder and I started arguing over who put the implant there. Not too many people outside the Bureau know this, but I went missing for a time also."

Give Jess the facts and she comes logical conclusions or spookily close inferences. "And someone also put a microchip in your neck?"

"Yes." I look down at the wadded Kleenex I'm clutching. "And things haven't been the same between us since."

"Was this before or after I met you?"

"After."

"And you still haven't told him about how you feel?"

Tears start to fill my eyes. "I was going to. But he's been more distant lately. I thought it was possible that he loved me the way I love him, but now I don't know."

"So what does that have to do with right now?"

"Mulder wants me to go back to DC and let him finish the investigation alone. I told him that this was as much my case as his. Technically, he's the supervisor of the X-Files and I'm under him. So he pulled rank on me."

"Stupid," Jess whispered. "Then what?"

I shake my head. "We had a fight. I said some things about his beliefs and how they are usually unfounded in science."

Jess nodded. "And he...?"

"Told me unless I followed his orders, when we got back to DC, he was going to ask for me to be reassigned." I sigh. "I just turned around and left."

"He said *what*?" Jess's voice grew louder with each word. "I can't *believe* he would pull some bone headed shitty trick like that. No wonder you're upset."

I pull inward. "I can't face going to the motel, knowing he's one room over tonight."

Jess smiled. "Like I said, you can crash here. Do you want anything to eat?"

"No. I just want to sleep."

"Okay, let's get you set up."

Something in Jess is a nurturer. She leads me to her bedroom and got the things she'd need, fussing over me all the while. As she slid the drawer to her bed stand open, I notice a few foil wrapped packages inside. "I'm not ruining any plans you had for tonight?"

She looks at me blankly for a moment. "Oh, the condoms. No, I'm not sleeping with anyone, but they're there just in case. There's a spare robe and gown behind the door and an unused toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Feel free to use them or anything else you need. I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Good night Jess." I close the door after her. I go through the motions of getting ready for bed, although I know that sleep will be a long time in coming. Just as I ready to turn out the lights, I hear the knock at Jess's door.

I hear her cross the room and open it. "Mulder! What are you doing here?"

I wrap her flannel robe around myself. I open my door a crack. Yes, Mulder is standing there, looking miserable. "Jess, I've really done it this time. Can I come in?"

Jess glances in my direction, but lets him in. "What happened Mulder?"

"I drove her away. She was the best thing in my life. I tried to protect her and I drove her away." Mulder sits down on the couch and buries his head in his hands. He doesn't know I'm here. All he was doing was going to a friend for some comfort. And he and I knew that was all he'd get out of Jess. She had made it clear that friendship was all she wanted from Mulder. She didn't regret their past, she just knew it could never be the way it once was between them.

Jess looks in my direction while his eyes are covered. She knows I am on the other side of the door, watching. Her unspoken question was clear - what the hell do I do now?

I stick my head out of the doorway. Mulder's back is to me so there is no chance he can see me. I'm not here. Keep him talking, I mouth to her.

Jess looks back to Mulder and kneels beside him. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Mulder what happened?"

Mulder shakes his head. "I overreacted to something and pulled rank. She protested. I wanted to tell her that I was scared for her. I wanted to tell her I love her. Instead I threatened her."

Jess asks another question, but I don't hear her. All I can hear is Mulder saying 'I love her.'

Mulder is answering Jess. "I threatened to have her pulled from the X-Files completely. I thought that she knew it was an empty threat. I couldn't live without her."

She rubs his shoulders lightly, trying to comfort him. "Then why haven't you told her?"

"Because how could someone as wonderful as Dana Scully fall in love with a messed up schmuck like me?"

"Mulder, you are not a schmuck," Jess smiled. "You may be a paranoid twit that smells conspiracy in every little event, but you are *not* a schmuck. Go find her. Apologize. Confess your love."

Mulder looks more and more miserable by the moment. "I want to, but I don't know where to start looking. She could be anywhere."

I can wait no longer. I open the door. "I'm right here, Mulder."

Mulder turns and sees me there. Jess quietly mutters, "I'll give you two some time alone," and retreats to Lindy's bedroom.

Mulder stares at me, stunned. "H...how long have you been standing there?"

"The whole time."

"You heard everything?"

"Everything." I walk around to stand in front of him. "Why didn't you tell me, Mulder?"

Mulder swallows hard. "I wanted to, but if I did, everything would have changed between us. I know that you can't share the feelings that I have for you. But I couldn't lose you." He looks deep into my eyes. "I love you."

I kneel beside him and place a hand on his cheek. "Do you know how long I've been wanting for you to say that?" Tears spill from my eyes. "I love you too, Mulder."

Mulder looks at me with disbelief in his eyes. Obviously that wans't the answer he expected. One hand caresses the one on his cheek. It slides down my arm and around to my shoulderblade. With a gentle pressure, he urges me forward.

I don't need to be encouraged. I slide forward onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. My eyes shut as I lean forward and kiss his full lips.

Oh God! His mouth is so wet and hot, his lips so soft. They part slightly, allowing me to slip my tongue in and out against the velvet of his. I have dreamed of this for so long, but reality surpasses the dream.

Mulder whimpers and his arms tighten around me. I open my eyes to gaze on him. His eyes are shut tightly. His skin is flushed. And I can feel him beneath me hardening.

He pulls away first, breaking the kiss to take a deep breath. "Scully," he huskily whispers before lunging for me again. He presses me back against the cushions of the couch, slipping his hands under my gown.

"Not here," I whisper. As much as I want Mulder, I'm not to eager to have sex in Jess's home. "Back at the motel?"

Mulder nods. I rise and grab my coat and purse. We hurry from Jess's to one of the parked cars and pull away hurriedly. I feel like a giddy teenager sneaking out to meet the boyfriend that my parents don't approve of. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he drives. He is still flushed, still breathing hard, and is gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles are turning white. I've never seen him aroused around me.

Because of me.

At the first red light, he caresses my knee. His hand slips under my coat to graze my thigh. And then he laughs.

"What?" I ask, not certain what is so humorous about my legs.

"Do you realize," he chokes out around the giggles, "that you didn't change clothes when we left Jess's?"

I snicker as I realize what he said was true. I was still wrapped in the robe and gown under my trenchcoat. We are still laughing when we pull into the motel parking lot.

We practically run to the room. Mulder fumbles in his pocket for the key. His hand trembles as he unlocks the door. He finally manages to get it open. He sweeps me over the threshold, kicking the door closed behind him.

Mulder eases the coat off me, leaving me dressed in the robe and gown. He lays me down on the bed. I pull him down on top of me, unbuttoning his shirt. "Scully," he moans and tongues my ear. And then he abruptly stops. He backs away from me like a wounded animal.

I'm puzzled. "Mulder, what?"

He swallows. "I, uh," he stammers, "just remembered, um, don't have anything with me. I wasn't expecting...," he trails off.

I smile. "I do." For some reason, when I first heard Mulder's voice at Jess's door, I had pocketed a few of those condoms Jess kept in that drawer. Well, she had said to feel free to use to whatever I needed.

And I really need this.

I pull the packages from the pocket of the robe. He stares at me. "Just when I think I have you figured out," he murmurs, stroking my cheek.

Our hands start feverishly plucking at our clothing. Now naked, we twist and wind about each other, lost in sensation. Our hands and lips explore each other with infinte tenderness.

He pulls away. I gasp at the loss of contact and open my eyes. He has pulled backwards onto his knees and is offering me one of the condoms.

I smile and sit up. Yes, I'll put that on you. But not before I put something else on first.

I flip forward and take his proud erection into my mouth. He yelps at the unexpected sensation of my tongue massaging him. He bucks forward, trying to be gentle, but needing to feel me desperately. He makes soft little grunts with each thrust that presses him deeper into my hot mouth. I feel my dampness increase at his sounds of pleasure.

Mulder is quickly nearing climax. His hands go to my cheeks and lift my head from his body. "Please, together?" he whispers huskily.

"Yesss," I purr. God, I *don't* purr. Not me, the Ice Queen. But now I do because it feels right.

The way it feels when I'm with him. Not when were butting heads over some of his spaced out theories about the X-Files, but when were just together, talking and sharing.

I gently roll the condom onto him. He then pushes me over backwards, lowering his body onto mine. His tongue travels from my lips to my breast. He gently takes my swollen nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking.

I cry out wordlessly and press upwards against him. In response he trails a hand through my pubic hair and lightly strokes my clitoris. Again I arch against Mulder, begging silently for him to enter me.

He lifted up from my breast, smiling in heated anticipation. I return the smile as he scoots back up to kiss my mouth. I feel him slowly spread my legs and lower himself against my waiting wetness.

I feel the head of his cock enter me. And then more than the head.

We both moan simultaneously. It's an overwhelming sensation, one I've been waiting for ever since I first met him. We hold still momentarily, unable to believe the fantasy has become reality.

I move my hips slightly. He realizes that I'm granting him permission and begins to thrust gently, slowly. I urge him faster and faster with my hands and voice.

He responds. Oh God, does he respond. I can feel my orgasm about to begin. "Mulder," I moan.

"Scully," he responds. He senses how close I am to coming and slows the tempo. I whimper.

He grins and then speeds back up. I feel myself begin to dissolve from the pleasure he was inflicting. My muscles begin to tighten and spasm. "Mulder."

The feeling of my reaction to my orgasm pushes Mulder over the edge. He tenses and pushes into me roughly but pleasantly, losing the tenuous grip he had on his control. Once. Twice. Thrice.

He screams my name as he comes.

He collapses against me shuddering. I am shuddering also, unable to believe what we just did, but by no means regretting it. We lay still for a few moments and then he withdraws.

No words pass between us. We smile and share a long look filled with contentment and love. What just happened was inevitable, destined since the day we first met in that basement office. I wonder why I fought it off so long.

Mulder nuzzled down between my neck and shoulder, his arms still around me. I nuzzle him back feeling his body relax. I stroke his shoulders, feeling drowsy. I lean my head against his close my eyes.

* * * * * * *

I wake up to the sound of two voices softly talking. One Mulder's. "Sorry about showing up at your place like that last night."

"'S'okay." Jess's voice is the other. I don't want to interrupt them, so I keep my eyes closed. "I take it you two finally admitted how you felt about each other?"

"Yeah, and I think I'm going to kill you for not telling me Scully was behind me the whole time."

Jess laughs. "Would you have said those things if I did?"

"No."

"Then kill me for trying to see my friends happy. I guess it's a capital offense now." Her voice grows quieter. "Listen, I'd better go. Take good care of her, Mulder, and yourself."

"I will," is his soft reply. I hear the door close. I feel the bed sink under his weight as he lays down beside me. A palm gently strokes my cheek.

I smile and open my eyes. He is hovering above me, smiling, but with a hint of fear in his eyes. Fear that I will reject him even now.

I smile back and pull his head to mine. I feel the tension wash out of his shoulders as I kiss him. "Good morning," I whisper when the kiss ends. "What did Jess want?"

"She brought back your clothes and took hers." He grins at me lopsidedly. "Do you listen in on all my conversations?"

"Well, you did think I was sent to spy on you when we first met. So why disappoint you?"

Mulder laughs. It is good to hear him laugh. He does it so little. But he becomes serious quickly. "I want to appologize for pulling rank on you. And threatening to send you away."

I wrap my arms around him tighter. "Forgiven. But even though you know that I love you, don't expect me to change my beliefs about the X-Files. Or take any dominant male / submissive female crap you try to pull."

Mulder's arms tighten around me. "Deal." He sighs. "What do we do now?"

"I think we have two options. Pretend last night didn't happen."

"That's not an option," he growls.

"Or be careful when we go back to DC. We can keep it hidden, for now. We are, after all, trained for the FBI."

He nuzzles my neck. "It's going to be hard to keep my feelings for you hidden from now on, knowing you feel the same way."

I kiss his hair. "We can do it, Mulder. I love you."

"I love you too, Scully."

And we get out of bed to greet the day. Together. 

 

* * *

 

Disclaimer - Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Alex Krycek, and Cancerman, and any other XF regulars mentioned in passing belong to TenThirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended to any of TenThirteen Production's property. Jess Leahs, Lindy Leahs, Michael Leahs, Annie Leahs, Alpha Wolf and the various generic MIB's are mine however, but I am willing to share if asked nicely.  
Disclaimer - Quotes are used without permission. No copyright infringement or disrespect intended.  
Why are you wasting time reading these disclaimers? You know already what they're going to say. No plot twists at all. Get on to the story.  
Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged. I need the ego stroking. Or someone to point out where I messed up.  
Synopsis - This picks up right after Loup Garou - The Kindred left off. Read it first and then this. Krycek faces his past and tries to make amends. Mulder has to deal with the fact that Jess had disregarded his wishes. And Jess has to find a balance between the man she once loved and the man she now loves. Season 4 spoilers.  
Relationship alert, and I ain't talking about only Jess and Krycek. NC17 for human/werewolf sex, but nothing kinky. Consider yourself warned.  
Loup Garou - the Kindred was written well in advance of Season 4's Tunguska/Terma. I have chosen to adapt around those events, so any inaccuracies with the first story are probably intentional.

* * *

Loup Garou IV - Life Mates - A Sequel to The Kindred  
By Shael ()  
Completed Dec.1996

"People love who they love, and it doesn't have to make sense to the people on the outside."  
\- Jerry Springer

"We're not angels, Akasha; we are not gods. To be human, that's what most of us long for. It is the human which has become myth to us."  
\- Lestat, "The Queen of the Damned," Anne Rice

* * * * * * *

Jess stepped off the airplane with a sigh. <Home, sweet home, with earthquakes, drive by shootings, and smog. God! It feels good to be back in San Jose.>

A short blonde child streaked towards her. "Jessie!" she screamed.

"Hey, Lindy!" She knelt down and hugged the little girl tightly. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you."

"And how about me?" a male voice asked. A six foot brown haired man that bore a striking resemblance to Jess stood nearby.

Jess grinned up at her brother. "Missed you about the same as always, Michael, not much."

"Very funny, sis. Let's get your luggage. Are you sure you want to spend the night at my place? Not that Annie and I don't want you too, we just thought that you'd want to get home as soon as possible."

"I just need to be around you, Annie, and Lindy for a day or two." Jess's voice took on a sad tone. "I've got a lot to tell you all."

* * * * * * *

Scully looked up from her paperwork to stare at Mulder staring at the wall. They were filling out the report forms from their latest case. Her partner was uncharacteristically quiet, not trying to convince her of the correctness of his werewolf theories. He was trying to absorb all that had happened in the last few days. "Mulder?"

He looked at her. "Yes, Scully?"

"You're upset. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I had him, Scully," he started softly. "I had him and I could have finally have gotten revenge for my father and information to use against the Consortium. And I just let him go." The frustration was growing plainer in his voice.

"Mulder, you didn't just... ."

"I just let him go," he repeated louder. He slammed his fists against the desk. "Damn it, Scully. I let him go because my best friend had to go and fall in love with Alex Krycek, of all people."

"Mulder, Jess didn't intend to get involved with anyone, let alone Krycek. She's miserable over it too." She decided it was time to break one of their unspoken rules - no touching at work. She got up to move behind his chair. Scully massaged Mulder's tight shoulder muscles. "And you did the right thing. If you killed Krycek, or hurt him, Jess wouldn't have forgiven you."

Mulder sighed and leaned back into her massage. "You're right. But the next time I see Krycek, I may not be so forgiving."

"Neither will I. But first we have to find him."

* * * * * * *

"Jess, what you've just told us, it's incredible," Annie said. "And you haven't seen this Alex since?"

Jess, Annie and Michael were sitting in the living room of her brother's house. It was late at night and Lindy was in bed.

"No, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing." Jess sighed. "And I have no idea what I'm going to do."

"Do?" Michael's voice had a shade of disbelief. "You love him. He obviously loves you. You'll eventually find him, or he'll find his way to you."

"It's not that simple," Jess began. "I owe Mulder... ."

"Jess, listen to me," Annie interrupted. "You don't owe Mulder shit. You don't have to choose to tell him anything. You helped him with the murder case. That's all you owed him. You don't have to carry out his personal plan of vengeance."

"She's right, sis. You have don't have to tell Mulder when Alex shows up."

"If," Jess said pessimistically.

"When."

"Yeah," Annie said. "My husband, the hopelessly romantic vet, is usually right about these things."

"I'll hopeless romantic you, you pediatrician. Jess, sometimes I think you told us about being a werewolf just so that you could have medical treatment in whatever form you happen to be in. Oh, I just remembered. I found something the other day that I thought you might want." Michael picked up a black jewelry case from where it had been resting on the coffee table. He tossed it in her general direction.

Jess plucked it out of the air with a casual grace. "Still testing my reflexes, Mikey?" She opened the box. A shocked look passed over her features. "Where did you find it?"

"Up in the attic. I was searching for some school books and stumbled across it. Since Dad didn't let you keep any of Rachel's things, I thought you might want it."

Jess pulled the ornate silver cross out of the box. "I thought Rachel was buried wearing it. How did you get it?" She slipped the chain around her neck.

"Mom took it off just after the funeral. She was saving it for you, but Dad didn't want anything of Rachel's left to remind him. It was in one of the boxes of things you sent me to check after they died. And don't stab yourself with it," he added. "It *is* pure silver."

"Thanks. And I may be depressed about Alex, but I'm not suicidal," Jess laughed. "Do you really think we'll find each other?" she asked wistfully.

Michael looked hard at his younger sister. <I haven't seen her this lonely since Rachel died.> "Yeah, sis, the two of you will."

Annie chimed in. "Of course, Jess. After all, wolves mate for life."

* * * * * * *

Lindy couldn't sleep. She was with Jess, and everything was safe and secure. Back home for two months, life had gotten back to normal for the two of them, as normal as it can be for an adult and a juvenile werewolf. Everything should have been fine.

But it wasn't.

Jess had tried hard not to let her grief and loneliness show, but the little girl could see it when Jess thought she wasn't being watched. She wasn't eating as much, she wasn't sleeping well, and her normally pale skin was even more pallid.

A thought crossed her mind. Her mind powers were starting to develop. Jess could send thought messages and she could receive them. Her ability to send and to sense thoughts that weren't broadcasted wasn't so good, yet. Though her powers were weak and behaved erratically, she could easily sense strong emotions. And Jess's were very strong. <Maybe then I can help her feel better.>

In fact, she could sense Jess remembering something with fondness and longing at this moment. <Maybe if I try hard enough, I'll actually be able to see what she's remembering.> Lindy hadn't tried it before on her own, and she wanted to show off to Jess. <Maybe that will cheer her up.>

She sat up in bed and got comfortable. Her cat jumped down from the bed where it had been sleeping. She started to narrow her focus down to the woman in the other room. Jess emotions were washing over and intertwining with hers so that Lindy had a hard time remembering that she was the observer, not the experiencer.

<Yes!> The mental image came slowly into focus. If Jess realized her mind was being probed, she gave no sign of it. She was lost in the memory of her and a man together in bed. Naked, she was moaning and guiding his head down her body. He started kissing and touching between her... .

Lindy screamed. Jess was in her room in a heartbeat. ~Lindy, what are you doing?~ "Are you okay? You shouldn't try that without letting me know."

"You let him touch you like that?" Lindy asked shivering. ~How could you?~ She remembered how *he* had touched her like that. She hated and feared the smoldering look in *his* eye that would appear before *he* started to... .

~Lindy,~ she mindspoke softly. She sat down on the bed. "The man who hurt you was sick. He twisted something that is a normal and beautiful act into something perverted. Sex between two consenting adults, like me and Alex, can be an expression of love."

"But, but you enjoyed it. Whenever *he* did me, it hurt."

"There is a bit of a physical size difference between you and me. And I was relaxed and not fighting it. In fact I was encouraging him to touch me. On the other hand, you didn't want anything to do with *him*. No one had any right to do what *he* did to you." Jess paused and looked at her sideways. "You know, we've talked about your abuse. We've talked about having sex, AIDS, VD, and pregnancy. But we've never talked about making love, though."

"What's the difference?"

"Having sex is the actual physical act, no emotions or merely lust and a greedy longing for pleasure attached. Making love however involves the deeper emotions, the affection, the trust, the love. I could have sex anytime I wanted to. But there are only two men I have made love to. And only one I could now," she in an undertone, almost as an afterthought.

"Is that Alex?" At Jess's nod, she asked the question she had been preying on her mind. "Is he gonna come here?" The fear was plain in Lindy's voice.

<Ah, here we go.> "I don't know sweetheart." She stroked Lindy's hair. "But if he does come here, things may change some. But two things won't - I'll always love you and protect you. I'll always do my damnedest to keep *anyone* from hurting you."

"Even Alex?" Lindy sounded scared. "He won't want to..."

"Even Alex," Jess said firmly. "Not all men are sick like *he* was. Remember Mr. Mulder? And what about Michael? They haven't tried to do anything to you, right?"

"Yeah," Lindy said hesitantly.

"Well, neither will Alex. If he does show up, he and I might be sharing my room. But he won't ever hurt you the way that sick man did. And if he does," Jess pulled Lindy's head against her chest, "you tell me right away, and I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you ever again." ~I promise.~

* * * * * * *

They lay together in the darkness of her bedroom. Scully was absorbed in her lover's motions. He was gently exploring her body with his tongue and fingers. She could feel his hot hardness growing against the tops her thighs and slowly, teasingly moving in between them.

The phone rang. "Shit. Not now," her lover said. He backed away as she reached for the bedside phone.

"Scully." She paused. "What? When did this happen!" She listened for a few moments more. "Yes, thank you for informing me." She hung up the phone. "Your cell phone will go off in a few seconds."

"No it won't. I shut it off." Mulder grinned at her. "I didn't want us to be interrupted, for all the good that did. So what's so important?"

"That was Skinner's office. They relieved a call from the jail where the man who calls himself Alpha Wolf was being held. A guard went into solitary to check on the man you shot defending Jess. He were found an hour ago with his neck slashed open. There's no sign of the man you wounded."

"He escaped?" Mulder's eyebrows shot up.

"Yes, and there's no clue as to where he went." Scully shook her head. "Six months they held him, and we still don't know who he is."

"Well, we can't do anything about it now." Mulder pulled her back down onto him. He silenced her comments with a kiss. In a few moments, the call was the last thing on their minds.

* * * * * * *

Jess was in a good mood. She had just seen Lindy off to school. The youngling was enrolled in an all girls school for now, so she wouldn't have to deal with boys. Her male teachers were aware of her past sexual abuse, and worked with Lindy. Fortunately, the PE teacher was a woman, so none of the teachers other actually had any reason to be in physical contact with her. For now, Lindy was coping very well. In fact, she had become an A student.

So Jess was alone when she got the call. "Hello?" she answered the phone.

"Jess, it's Mulder."

"Hey Mulder, what's up?"

"Something happened that you should know about. The man that called himself Alpha Wolf escaped. And we still don't know his real name, even though it's been three months."

Jess swallowed. "Thanks for the warning."

"No problem, hell beast. That aside, how are you doing?"

"Surviving. And lonely," Jess sighed.

"Jess, forget about Krycek. You could do a lot better than a cold blooded murderer," Mulder scolded.

<Here we go again.> She immediately went on the defensive. "I've done worse."

"Jess, Jake did treat you badly. But that doesn't mean that you have to pine over the first man that you've bedded in twelve years."

Her eyes narrowed. "First of all, Fox," she hissed, "I was referring to the murders *I* committed all those years ago. Second, Alex did treat me better than Jake. But I miss him because he loved me and I love him. I'm not 'pining' over him just because he's good in the sack. Thirdly, who I sleep with ceased to be any of your business when we stopped having sex. And fourth, who said that I've been celibate the whole time?"

"Jess, listen to me. I didn't mean to get you mad. But I need you to tell me if he shows up."

"Why, so you can kill him in front of me?"

Mulder was exasperated. "You don't know who he's connected with. You could be putting yourself and Lindy in danger."

Jess wasn't about to let him have the last word. "The same way you have been putting Dana?"

"That's not fair." Mulder sounded hurt. "I'm just trying to help you."

Jess relaxed her stance. "Sorry, but I can't promise you anything. I don't know what I'll do until it happens. But I will think long and hard before I do anything."

"Okay." Mulder sounded resigned to her answer. Her response had not really surprised him. They had had some variation on this conversation for the last few weeks when he called. "Let me know if you need anything. Goodbye, Jess."

"Bye, Mulder." Jess hung up the phone. She rolled her eyes. <So much for having an upbeat day.>

* * * * * * *

<I'm almost there. Just a little further to go.> He refolded the map and put it in the backpack that held his only worldly possessions. He had been working steadily towards his goal for the last six weeks, since he had returned to US soil from St. Petersburg. It was almost within reach.

<So close, so damn close.> He couldn't afford to make an error now. The slightest misstep and everything would end in disaster. He didn't think he was being followed. But he had to be sure. He didn't want to bring her into any more danger.

<I'll make the final push from San Francisco tonight,> he thought wearily. <Then I can rest, if only for a day or so.> Part of him wanted to give up, lay down, and die. But part of him was just too stubborn to give up. Maybe that was why They had chosen him, for his tenacity. Or his naivete. <Or maybe it was my stupidity.>

Alex Krycek walked the overcast streets of San Francisco, waiting for night to fall. <It will be safest to move after dark.> That was how he had been traveling after he left the freighter he had stowed away on - hole up for a month, wait for the full moon to rise, make the kill his animal instincts demanded, run like hell as a wolf as far as he could get in one night, and then start the cycle all over. It was a nerve wracking waiting game. <I wish I could control the Change and didn't have to wait for the moon, but at least I don't shift unpredictably.>

<And it's a good thing that the Change also triggers regeneration,> he thought, unconsciously rubbing his right hand against his left arm. Krycek hadn't been surprised when, that night several months ago, he felt the familiar pains of full moon transformation overtake the the phantom pains of his missing arm. He was aware that werewolves had incredible regenerative and healing capabilities, but he had been surprised to see the missing limb explode from the stump as he went from human to lupine form. And even more amazed when he kept the arm when he Changed from wolf to human.

He sighed. <I'm almost there, Jess. Please be waiting.> If she turned him away, he had decided what to do. Too many people had wished him dead. His mother had been gone for many years. He wasn't sure if his father was alive or not, and he didn't want to think about him. His experience in Russia had finally broken his will to play the game. He had bought the silver arrowhead necklace and filed the edges to razor sharpness. There would be no reason for him to continue if Jess didn't want anything to do with him. His life was worthless without her. He would have no one and no reason to live. But he had to see her one last time. <Either way, tonight I'll know what to do.>

* * * * * * *

Mulder sat on his couch, thinking about the full moon and Jess. She would probably be out with Lindy, howling her lungs out. And hopefully had forgotten about Krycek, although it seemed unlikely.

Every time he had called and talked to her and tried to bring up Krycek, she had gotten defensive and snappy. She listened to what he said about his recent adventure in Russia and Krycek's involvement in the militia. Then she snarled something about the fact that she had also killed as a werewolf, so was Mulder going to come after her too?

<Why Jess and Krycek? Why not Jess and Pendrell? Or even Jess and Colton? I could live with that.> He shook his head. He wanted to see his best friend and ex-lover happy. But he also wanted revenge for what Krycek had done to him and Scully. The question was how to do it without alienating Jess.

Unknown to Scully, he had the Lone Gunmen trying to trace Krycek's movements in Russia and keeping an eye on the ports of entry. If he ever returned to the US, Krycek would try to contact her, seeking shelter. He wanted to find Krycek before Jess did, so she wouldn't be put in the position of having to choose between them. But as more time passed, the less likely that seemed.

* * * * * * *

<Damn. It was a good thing I didn't Change and go out tonight.> Later that evening, Jess sat by the window to her apartment. She was watching the West Coast winter rainstorm. <Jeez. It's miserable out there. At least it's not like the time it flooded downtown.>

<I wonder how Lindy's handling the storm,> she mused. Lindy loved to sit and watch the rain coming down from the safety of a window. She had begged Jess, Annie, and Michael to be allowed to spend the night at his place, where the windows looked out into a street instead of another apartment. And Annie had indulgently said okay, and yes she could bring her cat Chloe before Jess or Michael could protest. <She's got us just where she wants us,> she thought with a grin.

There was a soft scratch at the door. <Who is that?> Jess wasn't expecting any visitors, especially not in this weather. <And why would they scratch at the door and not knock?> She opened the door.

Standing there was a tall, thin, shaggy, black and white half-wolf half-husky, covered with mud. <Poor thing,> she thought. <This dog's obviously had a rough time of it somewhere.> "Come on in, boy. Can't turn you away on a night like this." The dog stumbled in, weak and exhausted. She pulled out of the refrigerator some left over roast that she was saving for tomorrow's lunch. "Here, eat up."

It wolfed down the leftovers. Jess kept frowning at the dog. There was something familiar about its eyes, a brilliant green instead of the usual brown, blue, or gold found in a husky. And at the base of the dog's ear, almost hidden by the shaggy fur, she could see a glimmer of a gold earring. <Oh. My. God.> "Alex?" Jess asked softly.

The werewolf whimpered weakly, closing his eyes. Krycek slumped against her legs managed a shallow nod. <Thank whoever's up there that she recognized me.>

"Oh God, Alex," Jess whispered. She knelt down and pulled him in close. "I've missed you," she said, burying her face in his fur. "I've been searching for you since... hoping that... praying you were... ." Her voice trailed off, remembering how they had been split apart. She started to sob quietly.

Krycek placed his head on her shoulder. He licked her face in affection, trying to comfort her.

Jess smiled through her tears. She took the fanged head in her hands. "I love you, you smelly mutt. But let's take care of the smelly part." She led him to the bathroom. "Can you control your transformation?" She started the water running.

A shake of the head and a soft whine was her answer. "Okay, we'll just work with it. Get in."

Krycek stood in the bathtub and allowed Jess to soap and scrub his body, washing away the muck from his travels. He sighed as he felt his tense muscles relax. <I'm safe, at least for the moment. It's wonderful to have a full stomach and feel clean again.> His head drooped in contentment.

Jess could feel the thick fur thinning out under her hands. Slowly the back was broadening. The hocks were folding forward. The muzzle was slowly shrinking back into a human nose and lips. She repeatedly rinsed his body. By the time she had finished grooming him and had gotten him out of the tub, he was fully human again and half asleep.

"Missed you, Jess," he murmured as she toweled him off. His arms fell around her and he pressed his nose to the skin of her neck, inhaling deeply. "Love you."

"Love you too." Jess brushed her lips past an ear. "Your dead on your feet. Let's get you to bed. We'll have time to talk in the morning."

* * * * * * *

Jess sat up after putting Krycek to bed, watching him sleep sprawled on his back. <He looks so peaceful now. Almost angelic.> She brushed his hair away from his face tenderly. He stirred, muttered something unintelligible, and resettled on his side. His left hand was fisted and laying near his head, making Jess wonder if he had been a thumb-sucker late into his childhood. <Poor thing. Seeing him like this, it's hard to believe what Mulder told me.> She got up and moved to the living room.

She dropped to the couch. <Mulder. Oh God!> Jess hadn't allowed herself to think about Krycek coming back into her life. She always talked about it as if it could happen, but she never actually let herself believe it for a moment. <If I call Mulder, he's gonna kill Alex. If I don't call Mulder and he finds out, he's gonna hate me, and I lose a friend, and probably gain an enemy.>

Jess put her heads in her hands. <What am I going to do? Time to make a choice.> She sat there thinking for a few minutes, and then picked up the phone.

* * * * * * *

Krycek woke up to the chimes of a grandfather clock in the other room. He was well rested for the first time in a long time. He stretched and looked around the room. He was lying in a full bed with a home made dog quilt thrown over him. An old mahogany dresser graced the opposite wall. On the bedside table was a picture of a happy family - Jess, someone who looked like the male version of her, a chestnut haired woman with her arm around him, and a blond seven year old girl that was beaming ear to ear. There was a second older picture of a boy and two girls. And a third of the blond girl. <Must be her family.>

He slowly got out of the bed. Although soaking in the bath last night had helped, he was sore from traveling so far so fast. <Better find my clothes.> Naked, he padded into the living room, also searching for Jess.

The sound of the door knob turning startled him. <Shit! Someone followed me.> He looked around to find some sort of weapon to defend himself.

He needn't have worried. Jess stepped through the door, carrying several plastic bags with the name of a local drugstore imprinted on them. She was also carrying the backpack he had dropped outside her door. She broke into a beautiful smile when she saw him standing there. "You're awake," she said, going to him. She put her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately.

<God! She's more beautiful than I remembered.> His arms wound possessively around her body, reassuring him that she was real. He returned the kiss crying, releasing the pent up emotions of their separation. He could taste her salty tears as well as his own.

When the kiss ended, Jess stepped away a little shyly. "I got you some things. I thought you'd want to clean up. I hope I got the right size." She handed him one of the bags. "It looked like the stuff you had seen better days."

"Thanks." Inside was a toothbrush, razor, a set of sweats and boxers. "Let me go get dressed."

"Okay." Jess kissed his cheek. As he moved to the bathroom, he heard her talking. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked as she put the rest of her purchases away.

He pulled on the boxers and sweats. "Last night or before?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with." Jess appeared in the doorway, leaning against it, arms crossed.

"I'm not comfortable with any of it." Krycek looked at her with mixed emotions. "I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure how. And I wanted to keep you safe."

"Trust me, Alex, I was in danger long before I met you. You haven't figured it out yet, have you?" She shook her head. "Don't you know why Mulder asked me to help?"

Krycek shook his head. "I figured you were supposed to be psychic or something," he said around a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Since I was working with Spooky? Close, but not quite." Jess grinned. "It's so obvious that I missed it when we started dating. You see," she paused, looking him in the eyes, "I'm also a werewolf."

Krycek blinked. That was the last thing he expected her to say. But it made sense in a twisted way. <It explains the way it felt like we knew each other as soon as we met.> He spat out the foam. "How?" <I don't remember seeing her at the labs.>

"That's a long story. One that can wait until after breakfast, or I guess it would be lunch. It's almost eleven."

"And maybe wait until after... something else?" He didn't dare voice what he wanted - her.

Jess's grin got wider. "Of course. Why do you think I went to a *drugstore*?" She stepped in close and rubbed her hand against his chest, tracing lightly the swirls of his chest hair.

"Jessica," he whispered throatily. He could feel goose bumps trailing after her hand. He felt certain stirrings for the first time in a long time. He lifted her hand to his lips.

Jess shivered. Her lips parted and eyes shut. "Alex." Her breathing quickened.

Krycek leaned in close, lips parting to match hers. Just as they made contact, his stomach rumbled.

They both pulled back giggling. "I guess that means breakfast first." Jess turned to go to the kitchen. <He looks like he lost some weight. Life on the run definitely does not agree with him.> "Eggs and bacon okay?"

"Yeah, sounds great."

* * * * * * *

The man in the trenchcoat carried the package as if he were transporting the Royal Crown Jewels of Great Britain to their safe house. And in a way, the information that was on the video tape in the brown wrapping was more valuable. He had received it from his contact on the West Coast. Now all that remained was making sure the right people saw and acted on it.

He didn't pretend to understand his boss's orders. The Cigarette Smoking Man didn't owe him any explanation. As long as he carried out this assignment successfully, he wouldn't worry about it.

* * * * * * *

After eating together, they moved back to the living room. "You're not mad at me for not telling..."

"Alex," Jess interrupted, "how can I be angry with you when I'm guilty of the same thing?"

His shoulders slumped in relief. "So how much time do we have together?" Krycek asked, sitting on the couch.

"I called Michael last night. Annie, my bro's wife, will bring Lindy back tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant how long will we be together, alone or not?"

"What do you mean?" Jess looked puzzled by the question. She sat down beside him.

"I'm assuming Mulder knows I'm here. It's only a matter of time before he comes after me."

Jess looked away uncomfortably. "Mulder doesn't know. No one does, except Michael and Annie."

"Say again?" He put a hand to her cheek, turning her face to him.

"Mulder and I haven't gotten along well since... you know." Jess gave a weak laugh. "He knows me too well. He figured if you showed up here, I wouldn't tell him. We've had many 'discussions' about it." She smiled. "I guess he was right."

Krycek's hand slid from her cheek to entangle itself in her hair. "So we have no worries, at least for the moment," he murmured. He pulled her head to his and kissed her.

Jess slid towards him, easing onto his lap. Her hands brought his other hand to her breast. He slowly kneaded it through her clothing. "Oh God," he whispered. She was just as firm as he remembered.

Jess's breathing deepened. She shifted, straddling him. Her hands slid under Krycek's shirt, stroking his soft skin. Her lips moved across his cheek. Her breath tickled his ear. "I want you. I need to feel you moving inside of me." She took his earlobe between her teeth and gently bit down, toying with his earring with her tongue.

Krycek could only growl in response. But still he hesitated. He gently lifted her off his lap and then stood up. "Are you sure you want this? There is a lot that has happened that you don't know. I fucked up big time." <And was fucked up big time.>

Jess stood up beside him, pressing herself against him. Her fingers intertwined with his. "Alex, Mulder's told me some of it. We can talk about it later. And I know it will be dangerous. I know it puts you, me, and my family at risk. But I love you and I'd rather face that danger with you than on my own."

Krycek leaned his forhead against hers, looking into her eyes. "Jess, I love you with all my heart. Anything that is within my power I would do for you."

"Well, right now all I want is for you to make passionate love to me."

"I can do that." He scooped Jess up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

He gently lowered her onto the bed. Jess sat her up and pulled him onto the bed on top of her. Krycek groaned as one hand entangled in his hair and the other slid down to cup his ass. She began to squeeze rythimically. He kissed the tender skin behind the angle of her jaw before nibbling on her earlobe.

Jess arched up against him, sighing softly. "Alex, this is real, right? This isn't a dream?"

She felt the wet warmth recede from her ear. "If this is a dream," he whispered huskily, "I never want to wake up." His lips brushed hers tenderly before moving to lick her other ear. He then pulled back to watch her as she reacted to what he was about to do.

She whimpered as he laid a finger on the center of her forehead. Krycek ever so slowly traced the line of symmetry down her nose to pause at her lips. They parted to lure his finger between her teeth. He gasped as she sucked it gently, an imitation of a more intimate act she wanted to perform.

He shivered and backed off slightly to kneel between her legs, which were spread in welcome. The finger reluctantly withdrew to continue tracing down her face and neck. He toyed lightly with the collar of her button down shirt. With a look of complete absorption, he slowly undid it, revealing a soft cotton bra. "So beautiful," he whispered, sliding it off to expose her breasts. "What?" he said as she shifted uneasily beneath him and looked away.

"How can you say that?" was her answer. Tears slipped from her eyes. "How can I be beautiful with what Jake did to me? With the way he scarred me, slashed me?"

The scars, some knife blade thin, some jagged tooth marks, traced across her breasts and stomach like lines of white fire. Two bite marks circled around her nipples. The slashes radiated outward from her nipples to the base of her breasts and traced the path between her breasts to her navel. For the first time, he realized that she too had a past to overcome. The cocky, smart-mouthed, devil-take-the-hindmost, werewolf woman he loved could also be sad, shy, and uncertain, afraid her body would be a turn off, all because of what an abusive boyfriend had done to her one night in a drunken rage.

"Jessica," he whispered softly. A hand gently turned her head back to look at him, hovering over her. Looking at her chest, he deliberately smiled wide and wantonly. "I see a beautiful woman that I love with all my heart who has been though the fire, and came out so much stronger. I think you are the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen." Looking into her eyes, he lunged his hips towards hers so his cock prodded her thigh. The sweats he was wearing did nothing to constrain his hard-on. "And my body hasn't changed its mind about making love to you."

She closed her eyes, smiled, and softly whimpered as he bent down to kiss away her tears. Jess's hands moved from where she was cradling his ass to slide to the hem of his shirt. She peeled the shirt deftly off his body, making his cock throb even harder.

Krycek leaned in for another lingering kiss. Their first time had been franticly consumanted, both having abstained for so long. Now he wanted to draw this encounter out as long as possible, uncertain they would ever have a chance for a repeat performance. But the sight and feel of bare skin against bare skin almost made him change his mind. His tongue slid along hers, relishing the feeling of wet, warm velvet.

Meanwhile, Jess had kept her hands busy. She worried his sweatpants and boxers down to mid thigh. Her deft hands then traced up the inside of his thighs, making him shiver. They slid around to the back of his thighs kept moving up his back to end at his shoulders, holding him tight against her.

Krycek moaned and reluctantly pulled away from her mouth to travel downwards. He placed feather light kisses around her breast and matched his movements on her other with his fingers, spiraling inwards to her erect nipples. He heard her gasp as he gently blew across them. He gently sucked and pinched them, and she bucked upwards and tightened her hold on his shoulders.

"Let me sit up," he whispered. Jess relaxed her grip as he crouched upwards and wiggled out of the sweats. "Now lift your hips." He slowly, reverently removed her jeans and panties. "Do you have any condoms?"

Jess smiled. "Like I said earlier, why do you think I went to a *drugstore*? For their choice in clothing?" Never taking her eyes from him, she reached behind her to pull open a drawer of the bed stand. She fumbled blindly and pulled out an unopened box.

Krycek eagerly snatched the box from her hand and ripped it open. Hands trembling with excitement, he tried to open the shiny foil packet.

"Alex, wait." Jess sat up and put a hand over his. "Let me do it." She pulled the package from his hands. "Now lay back and let me do the work."

"Jess, what are you doing?" he asked as she shoved him down gently so he lay with his head at the foot of the bed.

"Something I've wanted to do for a long time." Supporting her weight on her elbows, Jess bent to suck at his navel. And then she moved her lips lower, blowing softly into his pubic hair.

Krycek moaned and sat up. He knew what she wanted, and he wanted it too. His hands grasped either side of her head and guided her to his engorged cock. He gasped as he felt a warmth cover his glans.

He shifted under her, lifting his hips involuntarily, urging her to take more. Her right hand traced the skin inside his thigh to start massaging his balls. She then lunged, taking all of him she could. She felt the end of his cock press against the back of her throat.

"Oh God... oh God... oh God!" Krycek screamed as he felt her swallow repeatedly, running her tongue over the sensitive skin. With each swallow, she grasped and released his balls. He had never felt such an intense sensation in his life.

She could feel the skin of his scrotum tightening. Jess then released him, backing away slightly. She looked up to see him staring at her with open mouth and wide dilated eyes.

"Get... that... condom... on... me... *now*!" Krycek panted.

Jess trembled as she unrolled the condom onto him. She had never seen a man so desperate for release. <Good Lord, what have I done?> She watched him take a deep breath and... .

Krycek flung Jess backwards to land in the pillows with him on top of her. Both hands went to each side of her cheeks as he kissed her long and deep, smelling and tasting himself on her. Backing off so he could watch her face, he positioned herself to penetrate her. He smiled as he heard the quiet yip she gave as he brushed against her clit.

He repeated the movement. She yipped again and lifted her hips, her eyes shut tight. "Jess, look at me."

She opened her eyes to stare into his. Krycek slowly began to sink his cock into her wet tightness. Once he was fully buried in her, he let out a breathy moan of contentment.

Jess shivered and whimpered as he settled his weight onto her. She nipped at his earlobe as he nuzzled her shoulder. Tentatively, she moved her hips. Krycek took that as permission and slowly started to thrust.

"Harder, Alex, harder," Jess begged. Krycek obliged, pistioning himself in and out of her faster and faster. He could feel his tension rising. One hand moved down to where he was frantically pushing to lightly stroke her clit repeatedly.

Jess arched up beneath him, nails biting into his flesh as they stroked downward to his ass. She screamed his name as she came.

He pumped into her even faster, feeling her squeezing him. And suddenly found himself screaming her name as he surged into her.

He colapsed onto her, ehausted. One of her hands moved to cradle the back of his head. Krycek kisssed her ear. "Let me up for a moment." He withdrew to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

Jess smiled and stretched. She scooted over to one side of the bed as Krycek returned and got in bed beside her. She pulled him to her with a sigh of contentment.

Krycek put his arms around her tightly. He nuzzled her hair, inhaling her scent deeply. Jess sighed again and nestled into his shoulder, still smiling. Her eyes slid shut.

Krycek felt her breathing become slower. He glanced down to find that she was asleep in his arms, as trusting as a little child. The smile still graced her lips. And suddenly he realized what a stupid move seeing her was. It would only be a matter of time before someone hunted him down, and would use Jess to get to him.

But for some reason, he really didn't care. Being with her was enough for the moment.

He leaned his cheek against her hair and shut his eyes. He was asleep before he knew it.

And the expected nightmares never visited them.

* * * * * * *

He sat in one of the seedier motel rooms in San Jose. He had gotten away from the jail without much trouble. It had been a little more problematic to trace the traitor's trail, but a little research as to where the bitch lived let him figure out where Krycek would appear.

<And when I get a hold of them,> Alpha Wolf grinned to himself. He would capture them. He would personally punish Krycek for escaping. He would claim the bitch as his mate. He would be back in good graces at the labs. In short, he would be the dominant male, the alpha wolf of the pack, again.

That was how he thought of himself, as Alpha Wolf. He never even thought of his human name anymore. Hell, he had forgotten his human name. The animal had eaten up any vestige of humanity he once had. He had always completed his assignments with the cool efficiency of the predator that his masters had prized. No female had denied him anything his bestial lust had desired, wanting to share his power. And no subordinate male had ever thumbed his nose at him like that. That was why his escape and her rejection drove him so.

Now it was a matter of time. Krycek was in San Jose, he could smell him and sense his mental signature. All he would have to do would be get a hold of the bitch, and Krycek would stick his neck in the noose willingly. All he had to do was watch and wait.

* * * * * * *

Jess and Krycek laid in bed together, asleep in each others arms. Swept away by their emotions, they had pleasured each other until they were both too exhausted to move.

Krycek woke up first. One eye slid open to take in the setting sun. Then the second one opened so he could focus on the beautiful woman in his arms. <As screwed up as my life is, how did I manage to end up with someone so wonderful?> He tenderly brushed her bangs back from her eyes.

Jess stirred lightly from his caress. Her eyes blinked open to see Krycek smiling at her. <He's here. He's *really* here.> She reached to stroke his cheek with the back of her fingers.

Neither of them wanted to break the spell they were under. Afraid to speak, Jess settled for actions to express herself. She pulled his head to hers and kissed him passionately.

Krycek sighed and rolled onto his back. He pulled her on top of him. Grinning, he grabbed a condom and raised his eyebrows.

Jess grinned and let her hands and lips start to roam. Krycek also explored her tenderly. Aside from the occasional gasp as an extremely sensitive spot was probed, the love they made was silent and tender, each trying to express their feelings through the physical act.

They collapsed back into the bed, sated for the moment. Jess felt content, secure in the knowledge of Krycek's love. But she still felt something needed to be explained. "Do you still want to know how it happened?"

Krycek nodded. He settled deeper into the pillows, keeping an arm around her shoulders.

Jess nestled down beside Krycek. She put her head onto his chest. She quietly began to speak.

"I'm still not quite sure why I went into that second hand shop... ."

* * * * * * *

Scully stepped into their basement office only to find Mulder fiddling with a VCR. "Don't tell me that you still feel the need to watch those videos of yours after last night."

"Not exactly. I found this tape on my desk this afternoon. And I think you'll find it interesting." Mulder hit the play button on the remote.

The screen flickered to life. Scully found herself looking at the outside of a ground floor apartment. A mongrel that mostly husky limped into the scene. It scratched at the door, whimpering. Jess opened the door, and let the thin animal inside.

"Looks like Jess took in a stray, Mulder."

"Yes, that's what it looks like. But look at what happens at a later point in the tape." He hit the fast forward button. After a few moments, Mulder let the VCR resume normal play.

The point of view shifted. Instead of the door to Jess's apartment, now they were looking at the window. After a few seconds, Jess was framed in the sill. She was obviously talking to someone. Then the person she was talking to stepped into view. A bare chested Krycek pulled her into a passionate embrace.

<Oh great!> Scully thought. She had been afraid of this. "Mulder, what do you want to do?"

"Do? I want to kill the bastard." His voice took on a grim tone. "He hurt you, he hurt me, and I'm not going to let him hurt Jess. She's suffered enough."

"Even if that means that you hurt Jess?" Scully could understand his need for vengeance. Hell, she had wanted to personally pull the trigger of the gun Mulder would place to his head. Then they had found the records in the drug company that gave detailed accounts of testing and experiments performed. After reading what they had done to Krycek, she felt that revenge should be tempered by mercy, or cruelty, depending on your point of view. <Mulder wants him to die. I want him to live and suffer.>

"I want to avoid it if at all possible." He put down the remote. "Let's go pay Jess a little visit."

* * * * * * *

"My God, Jess. You went through all that and managed to stay sane?" Krycek sounded in awe of her.

They had stayed in bed through the whole story. Krycek has listened silently, completely absorbed by her tale. Jess, still in his arms, had finished and was waiting for his response.

"Some people would say I wasn't sane to begin with."

"Jess, could you be serious for one moment?"

"Okay," Jess sounded apologetic. "Defense mechanism - whenever things hit a little too close to home, I wisecrack my way out of it."

"You don't have to do that with me." Krycek kissed her tenderly. "What I meant was that it didn't drive you crazy. Back at the labs, three out of four 'subjects' went insane within two months."

Jess sighed. "I've always been a survivor. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made it through my teen years."

"Well I don't think I could have handled it." His hand started to stroke her cheek. "I've had a rough time dealing with everything that I did, let alone what happened at the labs."

"Alex, what really happened between you and Mulder?" Jess lifted up and looked into his eyes. "I've heard Mulder's and Dana's side, but I want to hear yours."

Krycek leaned back further into the pillows with a sigh. "I want to, Jess. I've told you all I can." He told her what he remembered about what he had done to Mulder and what had been done to him since they were parted. It had felt good to finally confess to someone what he had done. Hearing her say "I forgive you" had started his wounded soul healing. "But there are blank spaces where I can't remember. I want to, but I just can't." The frustration was plain in his voice.

"It's okay," Jess soothed. "You can tell me when you remember. I'm not asking you to do it now."

"Good, because I have a hard time concentrating on more than one thing at a time." A hand stroked her bare back.

"So what are you concentrating on right now?" She lightly placed a hand on his thigh.

"How beautiful you are."

"I like that line of thought." Jess kissed him passionately. Her hand moved to a more private part of his body.

Krycek tried to respond in kind, but wasn't able to rise to the occasion. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," Jess said. "We've gone for so long without sex, and then have it twice times in the last ten hours. It's no wonder you're not able to right now." She snuggled back down beside him.

Krycek idly stroked her. <Time to get back to reality.> "Jess, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Same here. All I know for sure is I can't lose you. Jess, will you marry me?" The words came tumbling out before he was fully aware of what he was saying.

Jess sat up, shock written all over her features. "Did you just ask me what I think you did?"

"Yeah," he said softly. <Hell, I've come this far, so why not take it all the way.> "I love you with all my being. I can't stand the thought of being separated from you. I can't offer much, but all that I am is yours."

Tears shown in Jess's eyes. "Why are you asking now? I do love you, but why this step this fast? Why not just live together for a while?"

Krycek sighed and closed his eyes. "I want to be tied to you as closely as possible. I came from a traditional family, Jess. I was taught that if you loved someone, you made a permanent commitment to her. And I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to ask again."

Jess bowed her head. <He's right. Carpe the diem, girl. It may never come again.> "Yes, Alex, I'll marry you. I love you with all my heart and soul... and body," she added mischievously. She leant down and kissed him.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her. "You've just made me the happiest I've ever been, Jess. But I would have stayed even if you had said 'not yet,' or even 'no.'"

Jess smiled tenderly. "I could never say no to you, Alex. Besides, in a way, we've already made that commitment."

"I'm not following," Krycek said.

There was a contentment in her voice that Krycek never heard before. "Alex, dearest, don't you know that wolves mate for life?"

* * * * * * *

Lindy stood outside the apartment door with Annie. She was nervous and a little scared. She clutched the cat carrier that Chloe was in.

Annie gave her hand a squeeze. "Things are going to be okay. If you want to come back with me, all you have to do is ask."

Lindy nodded. Annie knocked on the door.

Jess opened the door. "Come in," she said nervously. <Please don't let Lindy freak out. Please let them like each other.> "Annie, Lindy, this is Alex."

Lindy looked around the living room. Sitting in the corner chair was a man. Although she had glimpsed his face in Jess's memory, he wasn't what she expected. She knew he was a werewolf, so she expected him to look like the horrible fair haired being that created her. The fact that his hair as dark as Jess's immediately reassured her. She shyly smiled.

Krycek smiled back. <Don't scare her.> Jess had told him about what Lindy had been through. "I've heard a lot about you. I'm glad to meet you."

Lindy moved from Annie to stand beside Jess. She had opened the carrier and Chloe sauntered out. On seeing a stranger sitting in 'her' chair, Chloe went to the Krycek and proceeded to rub against him, marking him as part of her territory. Krycek reached down to scratch behind the cat's ears. Chloe's purrs filled the silence of the room. "What's your cats name?" he asked.

"Chloe," came Lindy's reply. As Krycek continued to scratch the feline, Lindy slowly moved towards her cat. She started stroking Chloe's back. "Do you have a cat?"

"No, but I did have a dog when I was younger."

Jess exhaled the breath she didn't know she had been holding. If Lindy felt comfortable enough to ask a question like that, things were off to a good start.

Annie grinned also. "Michael sent over some of his things until you can get your own, Alex. If you'll excuse me, I have to go see a patient. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Lindy said.

"Okay, Lindy. Talk to you later, Jess. Nice to meet you, Alex." Annie left.

Jess turned to Lindy. "Why don't you go put up your stuff? Then we'll get something to eat."

"Pizza?" Lindy looked up eagerly.

"Sure, why not." Jess watched Lindy hesitantly pick up Chloe, and scamper off to the safety of her room. A small smile played at the corners of her mouth. "That went well. I'm surprised she went near you."

"Am I that scary?" Krycek got up and crossed the room. "Am I that horrible a monster?" He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck.

"No, but she didn't take to Michael that fast." She reached behind his head to entangle her fingers in his hair. She swayed back and forth. "Do you really think we can pull this off?"

He swayed with her, matching her rhythm. "You said Lindy..."

"No, I'm talking about us staying together. Are we going to be able to pull off the All-American couple trying to raise their child? I mean look at us, three werewolves, you running from God-only-knows-who, a little girl who's terrified of strange men, and me trying to keep Mulder from finding out about us? One tiny slip up, and it could end in disaster."

A chill passed over his heart. "Are you saying that you've changed your mind about trying?"

She turned in his arms. "No. I'm just terrified. I know things can't last as they are." She bowed her head against his chest.

He leant his head against hers. "I know, and I'm scared too. If anything happened to you or Lindy because of me, I don't think I could live with myself. I'm not sure I can live like this."

"Live how? With me and Lindy?"

"No, as a werewolf." He smiled and chuckled a little. "Funny. I had to lose my humanity to find it."

"Alex, I've lived like this for over ten years. And I miss being human. It's stressful to have to plan your life around the cycle of the moon. It's hard, but doable."

"Jess, if you had a choice, would you become human again?"

She sighed. "Don't know, Alex. I just don't know."

* * * * * * *

Scully woke up in the hotel room alone. <Damn! He ditched me again.>

They had arrived in San Jose late the night before. Mulder had wanted to go find Krycek and Jess that night. Scully had convinced him, she thought, to wait until morning.

She got up and dressed. Then she searched the room for any clue as to where Mulder went.

There. Beside the phone was a note pad, top page half missing. With a few strokes of a finely sharpened pencil, she was able to see the imprint of what had been scribbled. It was an address in Los Gatos, an affluent suburb. And next to it was a name, Michael Leahs.

* * * * * * *

The door opened to the one story house, and Jess stepped out. Looking back, she waved goodbye to Michael. She turned and started to walk to her Jeep, parked around the corner. Then she saw the man standing beside it.

She closed her eyes and sighed. <It was only a matter of time. I had hoped for longer. Maybe I can bluff my way through it.> She walked up to the man. "Hello, Mulder. What are you doing here? Where's Dana?"

"Jess." His voice was cold and distant. "I wanted to talk to you alone first. I know Krycek's with you."

Jess swallowed. "How?"

"Someone sent me a tape of the two of you. Jess, how could you?" He allowed some pain to seep into his tone. "I can understand before, when you didn't know who he was. But now you're protecting him. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"

"Yes I do. It's the same hell I've been putting myself through trying to decide what to do. But it was my choice."

"Jess, why? I thought our friendship meant something to you."

"Mulder, it does. But look at it from my point of view. In the last twelve years, he's the only other man I've been interested in. You've been able to move on and find someone else. I didn't have that luxury of being able to find someone to lean on."

Mulder, angry at her defense, asked the question that he always wondered about. "If you were so lonely, why didn't you find me, or find someone else, and make them like you?"

Jess put her head in her hands. "I thought about it, Mulder. Once I almost sought you out." Her temper and control had finally broken. Her voice took on a low growl. "But would you have forgiven me if I did? Do you really think I could do *this* to someone else?"

Her paws/hands shot out to grab his collar. Mulder found himself staring eye to eye with not Jess, but a snarling jet black werewolf. Instincts took over. Mulder slammed a fist into the vulnerable underside of her jaw. Losing her grip, Jess reeled back a few steps. She dropped into a crouch, growling, preparing to spring. Mulder reflexively drew his gun and aimed between her eyes.

"Mulder!" Scully shouted. She had finally found him. From her angle, she could see the back of Mulder, but not Jess. "What are you doing?" She ran up to him.

"My God, Mulder!" came a voice. "What are we doing?" Jess straightened back up, human. She stood there gasping for breath, trembling and crying. Jess edged around him in a wide circle to get into the Jeep.

Mulder lowered the gun, but didn't reholster it. "Run away. That's what you're good at."

The wounded look never left her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mulder. But I've made my choice. I *gotta* follow it through." Her car pulled away with a roar.

"Dammit, Scully! Why did I just do that?" Mulder sounded angry with himself, not to mention disgusted with Jess. "Now she's going to run to *him.*"

The last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. "Mulder, you still have feelings for her. You're jealous of the fact that Krycek now is dearer to her than you."

"Now is not the time to talk about this!. We're here to find Krycek!" Mulder stared at her. From the angry look on his face, Scully knew she had hit close to home. His voice softened. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you." He looked down. "Jess came here to see her brother. Let's get directions from him to her place."

"Okay," Scully said quietly. <He's torn about this. He wants to hurt Krycek, but not Jess. I don't think one can be done without the other happening.>

* * * * * * *

Two miles away, Jess pulled over to the side of the road. She was just outside the park where she and Lindy often went to play.

Sobbing, she lowered her head against the steering wheel. <God! What did I almost do?> She had never lost control of the Change and her temper like that before, even when she was unaware of her abilities. <I almost killed my friend. But I can't let him hurt Alex.>

She was so absorbed in her thoughts, she hadn't paid any attention to the car that had pulled over behind hers. Someone had gotten out and tapped on her window.

Jess didn't look up. She just assumed a police officer was checking on why she was on the side of the road, crying her eyes out. She lowered the window. "Yes?"

A hand with a vile smelling cloth shot over her nose and mouth. Jess shrieked, trying to turn her head away. A second hand clamped on her skull, holding her in place. "Not so fast, bitch. You're gonna spend some time with me," a familiar and hated voice said.

Jess, dizzy from the fumes, jerked hard and bit down on a finger. "Ouch! How dare you!" The hand on her skull slammed her forward into the steering wheel. The cloth once again covered her face. Jess, struggling weakly, faded into unconsciousness.

* * * * * * *

Krycek sat in Jess's apartment, waiting for her to return. <She's been gone longer than she said she would be.> He was getting worried although Jess had reassured him in no uncertain terms that she could easily defend herself. "I've fought seven foot humans twice my weight and won without a scratch. I could take you down in an eye blink," she had said.

Something in her tone of voice had made Krycek incredibly aroused. Maybe it was the soft growl that underlied the words. He eyed her five foot four inch frame appreciatively. "Prove it," he said, stepping closer.

Jess's response was to merely grin and step forward. She kissed him lightly and then quickly turned and pulled his arm over her shoulder. She flipped him over her back and onto the couch easily. Stifling a giggle, she walked to the door, letting her fingers trail over his torso as she passed.

Krycek shot up from where he sprawled on the couch. "You didn't follow through. You should have pinned me when you had the chance." He grabbed her in front of the open door and kissed her passionately.

"Tonight," was Jess's whispered answer. "But right now, I've got to see my brother. Be back in three hours."

That had been five hours ago. And he hadn't heard from her since. Lindy was in her room, watching TV. She didn't want to be in the same room with him without Jess present. While the little girl was skittery around him, she seemed to accept the him only because of how he felt about Jess. <Poor kid,> he mused. He thought about the story Jess had told him about a young girl who had been sexually abused by an 'uncle' and then sold to a pedophile, who also was a werewolf. The little girl had been Changed to make her fit *his* fetish even more. <I'd probably be terrified of me too with everything she's been through.>

The phone rang. Krycek listened absently as the answering machine picked up. "Jess, if you're there pick up. Alex if you're there, it's Michael. I need to talk to you or Jess. Jess said to tell you the first movie the two of you saw was 'Attack of the *the* Eye Creatures.'"

Michael wasn't stuttering. That was how the title had appeared on the movie. That was the pass word they had agreed on. <I hope her phone isn't bugged.> He picked up the receiver. "This is Alex."

"Can I talk to Jess?"

"What do you mean? She's not here." Alarm bells began to ring in Krycek's mind.

"She left here about two and a half hours ago. Said she was going straight home. She should be there by now." Michael also sounded worried. "But the reason I called is I've just been contacted by two FBI agents."

<Damn!> Krycek swallowed. "Let me guess. Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully."

"Yes. I was calling to warn you and her." Michael's voice grew soft. "Listen, she told me about what you did, but it's not my place to judge. All I know is when you two were apart, she was the miserablest I've seen her in a long time. Her attitude did a complete one eighty when you showed up. That's reason enough for me to be your friend. I figure you've got a half hour head start before they get there."

"Thanks." Krycek hung up the phone. No sooner had he put the receiver down than it rang again.

The machine picked up. An all too familiar voice started to speak. "Traitor. I have her. If you want to see your little bitch alive again, meet me at the Vasona Park boat house in half an hour." The line disconnected.

<Shit!> Krycek thought. <That was the Alpha Wolf's voice. Mulder didn't kill him after all.> He shivered when he remembered how Alpha had nearly killed him and tried to rape Jess. <Hang on, Jessica> he prayed. <I'm on my way.> "Lindy, I have to go out. Stay here. Open the door only to me, Jess, Michael, or Annie."

* * * * * * *

Scully knocked on the door to Jess's apartment. Mulder stood to one side, gun drawn, ready for trouble. "Jess, open up."

"She's not here. Neither is Alex." Lindy opened the door. Alex hadn't said that she could to Miss Scully, but Jess had earlier told her that she could always trust her and her partner Mr. Mulder. And Jess, as far as Lindy was concerned, outranked him.

Mulder holstered the gun. Jess had found Lindy once by "mind scanning" for her. Maybe it could work both ways. "Lindy, do you think you could find Jess, like that one time she found you in D.C.?"

"Yeah," Lindy said. "I know where she and Alex are. I can take you there." The little girl shivered. "She's in danger and scared."

* * * * * * *

Jess when she came to, she was lying face down on a wooden floor. Her head throbbed with each heartbeat and her throat felt like it was on fire. She gingerly moved a hand to touch her face. <One split lip, one gashed forhead, and one hell of a black eye,> she winced, gently probing the wounds. She tried to lift her head, but the room spun dizzily. She let out a low moan.

"Ah, good. You're awake," Alpha said. She heard footsteps echo towards her. A hand clamped down on her wrist. She was jerked to her feet.

Jess stood there swaying. "Here." Alpha lifted a sports bottle to her lips. "The stuff I drugged you with makes you awfully thirsty. Drink. It'll help."

Jess turned her face away. Alpha looked amused. "Smart bitch." He took a long sip and swallowed. He held the bottle back to her.

She grabbed the bottle and gulped the water down. Alpha reached to steady her shaky hand. "I'm not such a bad guy," he purred, stroking her fingers.

Jess shivered under his touch. "What do you want?" she croaked, dropping the bottle.

"What I want is you beside me. You're almost every bit alpha wolf that I am. A worthy underling, beta to none but me, the alpha female of the pack. I can't understand what you see in that traitor Krycek."

The water did help clear her system. "What are you going to do to me?" she said, staring malignantly into his eyes. Her fist and jaw clenched.

Alpha chuckled. "Still a little spitfire, eh, bitch?" He leaned in close, staring her down. "I'm not going to hurt you. You and your boyfriend are my ticket back to the labs." His breath caressed her ear. "You'll find life there isn't so bad, especially as my mate."

Jess's eyes narrowed in response. "Trying to protect yourself from me?" he asked, touching the silver cross she wore. His finger's brushed against her breasts. Jess hissed like a wet cat and took an involuntary step backwards. Alpha's grip on her wrist grew tighter, almost snapping it. He jerked her body against his. Jess trembled and slumped in defeat. "I knew you'd see reason eventually. And speaking of the traitor he should be showing up to 'rescue' you soon." His other arm snaked around her waist, tugging her shirt out of her jeans. He bit at her neck, drawing blood. "But until he does, why don't we get to know each other a little bett... aaauuugh!"

Jess had kneed him with all the accuracy and force of a striking cobra. As Alpha dropped her wrist to cradle his injured member, she backhanded him with her free hand. She pivoted, praying she could gain the door before Alpha recovered. Jess knew that she couldn't beat Alpha Wolf in a fight in an enclosed space. If she got outside, her speed and agility would more than even the odds of her winning.

"Oh no you don't, you little slut!" Alpha tackled her from behind. As she collapsed with Alpha cursing above her, pressing his body into hers, she struck her head against the doorjamb. Jess, trying to keep from blacking out, heard the glass shattering. <I hit a door, not a window.> She managed to turn her head in the direction of the sound.

Krycek stood there among the shards. "Get the hell away from her!" Alpha stood up and stalked forward. Krycek and Alpha circled each other warily. Krycek had fought him before and wasn't looking forward to facing off with him again. <But there is no way in hell I'm going to let him hurt her.>

"So you really think you can take me on," Alpha snarled. "Your girlfriend thought that also. Just before I brought her to her knees."

"Liar!" Krycek shouted. "If you've laid a finger on Jess..."

"Don't worry, after she went down on me, I returned the favor."

Krycek roared incoherently and charged. In his anger, he forgot his FBI self-defense training and the fighting techniques they tried to indoctrinate him with at the lab. He just lashed out with the animal fury he was feeling.

Alpha sidestepped him neatly. He kicked Krycek in the gut as he passed by. Krycek went down to his knees, clutching his abdomen. Alpha lifted him up by the throat. "So much for the great warrior, defending his lady's honor," he sneered. "Our mutual boss has told me your worthless life is to be spared. You're to be brought back for more testing. So...," The hand holding Krycek started to contract.

Krycek choked and clawed vainly at his neck, trying to draw breath. Just before he passed out, the hand loosened. "The only thing that would make this better was if the bitch were awake. But don't worry, we'll both be there to watch when they start the experiment again, a dissection perhaps." The hand tightened.

Krycek was again on the verge of blacking out. Suddenly the pressure released. He dropped forward, supporting his weight with his arms. After taking several deep breaths, he became aware of Alpha screaming.

Alpha was turning his back on him. That's when Krycek saw the silver cross, buried to the hilt, sticking out of the base of his skull. Alpha was trying to reach around and rip it from his head. He managed to tear it out by the chain and dropped it like it burned him.

But it was too little too late. Alpha staggered, only to fall forward, convulsing. The blood was streaming from the deep gash that had been enlarged in Alpha's struggles. He looked at Krycek. The loathing in his voice scathed Krycek's ears. "Damn you and her to hell!" Then his body sagged and his breath rattled in his throat.

Krycek crawled towards the body. There was no pulse. It was over.

He looked at the cross that had caused Alpha's downfall. It was the same one Jess had worn.

He looked up. There she stood, swaying in the effort to keep upright. Her face and body were bruised and lacerated. There was a haunted look in her eyes.

Krycek stood and Jess staggered to him. Not saying a word, she threw her arms around him. He gently touched her blood oozing from her throat, tears welling up in his eyes. Both too weak to support their combined weight, they fell to their knees crying.

* * * * * * *

Lindy guided Mulder and Scully deftly through the park. She quickly grew impatient every time Mulder and Scully insisted on checking for hidden people when they entered a new area.

"There's no one in here," Mulder said.

"I coulda told you that," Lindy snorted. Her werewolf senses had told her that there was no one in the last five buildings they had gone through. "Wait." Lindy held up a hand. She stretched up on her toes, head tilted to one side. ~Jess?~

A male scream rang through the air. Lindy was off like a shot, running towards the sound.

"Lindy! Get back here!" Scully started running after her. <Is it my imagination or is her hair growing longer?> she thought distractedly. The rubber band holding her ponytail had broken, her long blond hair flowing behind her like a lion's mane.

Mulder caught up and passed Scully. Lindy had just turned the corner, shooting out of sight. They stopped short and drew their guns. The soft sound of sobbing could be clearly heard. Guns raised, Mulder and Scully turned the corner.

Scully slowly lowered her gun as she took in the scene. Lindy was clutching at Jess, who in turn was holding and being held by Krycek. Alpha's corpse lay nearby. Both Jess and Krycek were bloodied and bruised.

Lindy put her arms around Jess. She pushed her way between Jess and Krycek, wanting to feel sheltered. <Alex hasn't tried to hurt me. He's not bad like *he* was. So why in Mr. Mulder pointing his gun at him?>

Krycek looked up to see Mulder still holding the gun on him. <This is it.> He dropped a soft kiss on Jess's head which was cradled below Alpha's marks on his throat. "Take care of Jess for me, Lindy," he whispered, his voice hoarse from the throttling. "And always remember that I love you, Jess." He then looked at the far wall, giving Mulder a clean shot through his skull. <I'm sure this time he's using silver bullets.>

Jess could feel Lindy trying to get as close to her as she could. She heard the whispered words. She opened one teary eye to see Mulder aiming at Krycek. <No, Mulder please, no.> She closed that eye, resigned to the fact that her love was about to die at the hands of her friend. "Goodbye, dearest," she whispered. Her arm tightened around his body.

Scully could not allow it to end like this. <He hasn't done enough penance. He hasn't suffered enough. He never will. And Jess will hate Mulder for the rest of her life. She may even come after him.> "Mulder, don't!"

"Scully, he killed my father. He helped kill your sister." Mulder ground out through clenched teeth. "He was involved in your abduction. He's tried repeatedly to kill me. Give me one good reason I should let the son of a bitch live."

"You just named our best reasons," Scully countered. "I want him dead as badly as you. But he has information and answers that we need. And what better way to shut down the X-Files than have the lead investigator charged with murder, no matter how well Krycek deserves it? Are you going to throw that all away for vengeance?" Scully shook her head. "And what about Jess? If you kill him, you may earn her hatred."

"She wouldn't do that." Mulder pulled back the hammer on the gun. "Jess, Lindy, move out of the way."

"If someone killed you, *I* would hate them eternally. And think about how miserable you were when I was missing. Are you willing to consign Jess to that for the rest of her life?" She put a hand on his arm. "You let him walk away once. This time, choose to walk away yourself."

Mulder's aim shifted slightly as he turned to look at Scully. "What he did is unforgivable. He must be punished."

"Don't you think I am?" Krycek's voice rasped. "You seem think that I'm a monster without a conscience. I'm not. I'm living with the guilt. Every day I face the man in the mirror and think about what I've done. I didn't enjoy deceiving you, Mulder. I was told that you were misguided, that I was helping you by not telling you Who I worked for. I didn't know what They were going to do to Scully, just was told to keep you distracted. And I didn't want to kill your father, but I was being watched. And I was too much of a coward to disobey orders and be killed myself." His voice gave out.

"And think, Mulder." Jess picked up where Krycek left off. "He was experimented on. He has been altered into something beyond human, forced to give up family and friends for fear of harming or causing someone to harm them to get at him. Has to live with the constant fear that They will swoop down and start Their experiments again. It's a living hell." She looked directly into his eyes. "You wouldn't be punishing him, Mulder. You would be putting him out of his misery."

Mulder frowned at Jess, but lowered the gun. "What are you suggesting? That I walk away and forget that he's with you?"

"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying!" Jess had one last card to play. "One of Them obviously wants Krycek outside for now. There has been too many times when he could have been killed out of hand. Why? Because he's an embarrassment to Someone. Why an embarrassment? Because he knows too much."

"She is right, Agent Mulder." Cancerman, flanked by four soldiers, stepped through the door. Krycek made a low moan of despair. "Mr. Krycek, I'm disappointed. You really didn't think we wouldn't find you?"

The two of the guards aimed at Mulder and Scully. They slowly lowered their weapons. Another moved to Alpha Wolf's body, reaching for a pulse. He shook his head no.

"Very impressive, Miss Leahs." He lit a cigarette. "The government thanks you for your aid in capturing two dangerous fugitives."

"What are you going to do with us?" Jess's voice was without inflection, as if she really didn't care any longer. <No matter what happens, I'm going to lose Alex. One way or another.>

"With you and your ward, nothing."

Jess and Krycek bowed their heads. They knew what would happen next.

Mulder and Scully had a good idea too. "And what about Krycek?" Scully asked.

The soldiers moved forward. "He will be taken into custody."

Krycek disentangled himself from Jess and Lindy. "But you have to catch me first!" He bolted towards the back of the boathouse and leapt through the broken window.

Two soldiers followed outside. One raised the rifle and fired at the fleeing figure. Jess's scream echoed the Cigarette Smoking Man's command. "Do not shoot! He is to be taken alive!"

Jess and Lindy ran to the window. She saw Krycek running to the end of the adjoining pier, clutching at his shoulder, blood seeping from a gunshot wound. "No," she whispered.

Krycek half turned and made eye contact with her for one fleeting second that stretched for an eternity. After a momentary hesitation, he dove into the lake.

He never surfaced.

Jess bowed her head against the window sill, not caring about the shattered glass that scratched her forehead. She listened to the quiet footsteps leaving the building and coming towards her.

She felt Lindy's arms around her neck. She also felt a hand drop to her shoulder.

"Come on, let's get you outside where I can check you out." Scully helped Jess and Lindy to their feet. With Jess leaning heavily on her shoulder, she led them out. Mulder followed.

* * * * * * *

Mulder watched the dragging the lake. So far, the dive team hadn't found Krycek's body. The sun was setting, and there was little chance that a corpse would turn up in the next few minutes.

<It would be best if they did find something, anything to end the uncertainty.> He looked at Jess, sitting on a bench with Lindy in her lap near the edge of the lake. Her arms were wrapped possessively around the little girl. Her dark hair brushed against Lindy's golden locks. She stared at the lake, watching, but not seeing.

<She has that look in her eyes,> Mulder thought. <The same look she had when she found out that Robert, Michelle, and Mystery were dead.> Jess had been deeply devastated by the loss of her childhood friends and her cat at the hands of her ex-boyfriend.

Scully stepped up beside him quietly. "They are about to call off the search for today."

Mulder nodded. "He really did love her. Almost makes me wish I could be able to forgive the bastard, if only for her sake." He paused and turned to Scully. "I think we should get Jess back to her place. She's gone through a lot today."

Scully sighed and closed her eyes. "We all have, Mulder."

"Scully, I'm not saying that all this was easy on you. I know it was hell. But we have each other. She has no one."

"Be honest, Mulder. What I said earlier is true. You still love her." There was no jealousy in Scully's voice. It was merely an observation. "That's why you couldn't shoot Krycek."

"Yes, I do love her. But as a friend and because of what we once shared. But will we ever be lovers again? No." He took her hand in his. "Someone else more important to me has already taken that place in my heart." He squeezed her hand tightly.

Scully returned the squeeze. Hand in hand, they walked to the bench where Jess sat. Lindy had fallen asleep, resting her head against Jess's chest. Mulder put a hand on her shoulder. She pushed it off. Scully placed her free hand on Jess's shoulder. This time she didn't protest.

Jess blinked and turned to face them. She had cleaned the blood off her face and neck, but the scratches and bruises were even more pronounced against her pale skin.

<That lost look on her face is enough to break even Cancerman's heart,> Scully thought. "They're ending the search for tonight." She spoke to Jess as if she were a young child. "It's time to get you home."

Jess nodded and tried to shift Lindy without waking her. Dropping Scully's hand, Mulder stepped forward without a word and scooped Lindy out of her lap. Lindy stirred a little, but didn't wake up. Jess then stood silently and followed Mulder and Scully.

She paused once, looking back to the lake. A tear rolled down her cheek. She then turned and continued back to the car.

* * * * * * *

The Cigarette Smoking Man watched events unfold from a discrete distance. He was only marginally involved in this part of the Project. His involvement was due to his former underling. Once he had left Krycek to die. Now, because of the DNA he carried, Krycek was too valuable to kill out of hand. He could be useful in the future.

He lit the Morley and inhaled. His eyes were fixed on the bench where Mulder's former lover and her little girl sat. She had sat there almost unmoving for the last two hours. The only time she had shifted was when she looked away from the lake for a few moments. She had stared in his direction, although it would be impossible for her to see him.

Her expression reminded him of another time he had seen the same quiet desperation. He had been younger then. He hadn't meant any harm. He hadn't meant for it to happen. It just did. And he was still dealing with the consequences to this day. Perhaps that was why he felt the urge to watch over her.

He watched as the two lovers/partners walk to the bench. They would see that she was taken care of. And so would he, discreetly, of course. She was valuable as an experimental subject to see if her kind could function in a human world.

A thought crossed his mind. <It would add an interesting twist to the experiment.> His associates would find it amusing at the least, and informative at the most. The hard part would be keeping Mulder or Scully from killing Krycek outright. <But given a suitable carrot, the man will walk off a cliff without hesitation. And she won't, she wants him to suffer.>

Now he had just to wait. He wouldn't waste resources looking for Krycek. A werewolf wouldn't be killed by a shoulder wound from a regular bullet, which he made sure his men were armed with. It would be a matter of time before Krycek sought him out because of desperation, needing protection.

* * * * * * *

Jess laid curled on her side on her bed, silently weeping. After Mulder and Scully brought Lindy and her home, she had went to her room. She had thrown herself on her bed, trying to process all that had happened without feeling. It wasn't working.

The door opened. "Jess?"

She didn't look at Mulder. "Just say what you have to say and then leave." She still spoke in the toneless voice she had used earlier.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry about everything."

"Everything?" Jess rolled over and lifted her head to stare at him, eyes puffy from crying.

"Everything." Mulder sighed. "Listen, you love him. He loves you. I know he could have used you and Lindy as a 'human'" Jess snorted at the word, "shield, but he didn't. He could have taken advantage of the situation. He didn't. And I know how hard a love like that is hard to find."

She sat up. "Apology accepted. But what do I do now if... ."

"Whatever you want to, Jess." Mulder sounded resigned. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's your choice. Scully and I have discussed this. As long as he keeps his nose clean and cooperates with us, it's none of my business who you're sleeping with."

Jess got up and hugged Mulder tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

A quiet 'ahem' made them split apart. Scully stood in the door. "Your brother's here. He wants to see you."

Jess nodded and walked to the door. She stopped only to hug Scully and also whisper "thanks" to her.

Scully crossed over to Mulder. She wrapped her arms around him. "That was generous of you, Mulder."

"I don't have to like it," he replied. "But we need him alive for now. I just wonder if he made it to safety."

She shrugged her shoulders. "C'mon." Scully led him out by the hand.

Michael and Annie were in the living room. He saw Jess's brother holding an empty leash. Jess and Lindy were on their knees, cooing and crying over a black and white male husky. The dog whimpered and cowered back slightly at the sight of the FBI agents.

"Jess, we've got to go back to D.C.," Mulder said. He shot a sharp look at her. "Remember what I said about him behaving."

Jess grinned up at him. "I know, no bad dogs." She stood up. "Thanks for everything, both of you."

"Just be careful. All of you," Scully said. As they walked out the door, she took one last look back. Jess was standing now, one hand resting on the dog's head. Lindy was also standing, her hand over Jess's. They both stood silently by the dog as Mulder and Scully left.

* * * * * * *

When Krycek woke up, he had a hard time remembering exactly where he was. He was laying in a twin bed, covered in an juvenile print quilt. Across from him was a desk with an older TV perched on it's top. A few posters of kittens and puppies graced the walls, along with the plush animals on the bookcase next to the closet. <Girl's room, obviously.>

He rolled onto his belly and pushed up to look at the clock on the bookshelf/headboard. And his eyes rested on the radio alarm before shifting to the picture of an average height brunette hugging a seven year old blonde beside it.

And everything that happened yesterday came flooding back. Alpha

Wolf kidnapping Jess. The fight to the death between the two of them. Mulder and Scully finding and almost killing him again. The Cigarette Smoking Man forcing him to dive into Vasona Lake in order to escape.

After that things became more blurred. He could vaguely remember swimming to the far shore of the lake and somehow managing to summon enough concentration to self-heal and Change for the first time without the influence of the moon. And somehow, relying on the instructions Jess had given and the map of the area he memorized, he had managed to find Jess's brother's house and be recognized. Michael had brought him to Jess's right away, while still in wolf form.

He rolled out of the bed, uncertain why he was in Lindy's room and not Jess's, where she had put him the last time he showed up unexpectedly. <This doesn't look good.> A faded pair of men's jeans were sitting on the chair beside the door. And on top of those jeans were a set of red silk boxers.

<Talk about sending mixed messages,> he mused. He pulled the clothing on. The jeans, being Michael's, were a little loose on him, but a belt fixed that problem.

He left Lindy's room to cross over to Jess's. Her door was closed.

Krycek knocked on the door. "Jess?"

"Come in," came the quiet reply.

Krycek stepped through the door. He looked around her bedroom. Jess was sitting on the bed, back to him. "Where's Lindy?"

"She went with Annie and Michael for the weekend. Her choice."

Krycek took a deep breath. "So we're alone."

"Yeah," Jess looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "Alex, why didn't you come back sooner before? You came back right away this time."

"I couldn't. It would have been too dangerous." Krycek sat down on the bed beside her.

Jess edged away from him. "Yeah, right." There was a tremor in her voice.

"Jess," he said softly. He put his hands on her shoulders. "You don't think that I don't love you, that I'm using you. Do you?"

Despite herself, Jess leant away from him slightly. "I searched for you for so long. I kept defending you to Mulder, Scully, and myself. But as more time passed, it got harder to do." She looked at Krycek. "I didn't know what to believe."

"Oh God, Jess. I had no idea I hurt you so badly." Pulling her against him, Krycek leaned his forehead against hers. "I stayed away because I knew I was being followed. Hell, I probably still am. But I couldn't stay away any longer. Please, forgive me, I beg you." A tear slid down his cheek.

Jess wiped it away tenderly. "I didn't know what to believe about you staying away. Mulder insisted that it was because you were involved with the man he calls Cancerman. I wasn't so sure. But I *never* believed you stopped loving me, or stopped loving you." She pressed her lips to his. She wrapped her arms around him.

Krycek whimpered as he returned the kiss. It started gently, but quickly became more passionate. Jess went down backwards, laying on the bed and pulling Krycek with her. Her hands started exploring his back.

Krycek took her heads in his hands. His tongue probed even more deeply into her mouth. One hand slid from where it was stroking her cheek to cup her breast. "I want you so badly," he whispered.

Since her mouth was otherwise engaged nibbling his ear, Jess mindspoke without thinking. ~I want you too, Alex.~

Krycek jumped back at the unexpected connection. "Jeez, Jess, that scared me." He looked at her curiously. "You can do that too?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean scare you," Jess apologized. ~What do you mean 'too'?~

<I hope I can still do this.> He took a deep breath. ~I can mindspeak, also. Not many of us at the labs could.~ He switched to talking. "I'm not quite as good at it."

"Alex, that's wonderful." Jess sounded excited. "I found out by accident that Lindy and I could communicate psychicly." Her head tilted to one side. ~What else can you do?~

"I can read minds a bit, and also send images." He decided to demonstrate by showing her an image he had thought of often - the two of them spending their first night together.

"You would choose an X rated image," Jess purred. She replied in kind.

Krycek gasped. She had chosen one of her fantasies, him naked, her kneeling in front of him, pleasuring him in ways he had dreamed about those nights away from her. He pressed himself harder against her body. "Jessica," he whispered throatily. He kissed her frantically, aching to make love to her.

Jess smiled at the reaction he had to her. And she was going through the same thing. Her body was responding to his caresses, throbbing with the need to be taken. ~Do you want to make that fantasy a reality?~

He moved one of her hands to the hardness between his legs. ~Do you have to ask?~

* * * * * * *

<It's funny,> Scully mused to herself. She closed her eyes and sighed. <I thought that when I came face to face with Krycek, I would have no mercy. But when I saw how pitiful he was... .> She shook her head. She was a long way from forgiving Krycek for what he had done, but she did feel the stirrings of a little pity for what was done to him. <And after all that Jess has been through, she deserves a shot at happiness.>

<I wonder if Mulder will see it that way.> She opened her eyes to glance at Mulder. He was sitting beside her, head tilted forward, eyes closed. <Krycek did kill his father. And letting the past go isn't one of Mulder's talents. Otherwise, he wouldn't be searching for Samantha so hard.> Mulder may have said he wouldn't harm Krycek for Jess's sake, but he wouldn't easily forgive.

Or forget.

* * * * * * *

Krycek and Jess lay in a tangled heap of sheets, their bodies still entwined. He was tenderly kissing her neck. <That smile on her face when she came has made all my suffering worthwhile.>

A ghost of that smile still played on her lips. "It's funny, Alex. Just when you think it can't get any better... ." She delicately left the thought unfinished.

He laid his head on her chest, listening to the steady thump of her heartbeat. ~I know what you mean, beloved.~

"'Beloved?' I don't think I like the sound of that," Jess murmured. "Sounds like something you put in an obituary." She exhaled in pure contentment. "So you still gonna marry me?"

"After the last half hour, do you think there's any question?" A teasing tone crept into his voice. "Do you think it might be a problem that our relationship is based on sex?"

Jess arched an eyebrow. "That's a *problem?* God! I wish all our problems were that simple."

Krycek chuckled. "True." He stretched against her. "We do have a problem though." ~Mulder and Scully.~

<Can't keep reality from intruding, can we?> Jess thought. "So what do we do?"

"Not what, when. Let them know I'm here. And pray that they can find some touch of pity for me."

"Alex, we don't have to..."

Krycek laid a finger on her lips. ~We tried to keep it secret, and you almost got killed. Maybe things will be different if we lay all our cards on the table.~

Jess sighed. "So how do we do this?"

"I think I have an idea."

* * * * * * *

Mulder stepped into his apartment since the first time he had been in San Jose. Surprisingly, there was a message on his answering machine. He didn't often get calls when his friends knew he was out of town investigating a case. He punched the 'play messages' button.

"Hey, Mulder. I wanted you to know that I found that thing I've been looking for, just after you left. And I ran into a mutual friend, and I plan to be staying in touch with him. Oh, and Lindy says 'hi'. Give me a call when you can. See ya around."

<Okay, Jess. I get the message,> he thought. <And Krycek can be a valuable source of information, once he begins remembering. I'll tell Scully, and leave it at that. For now.>

* * * * * * *

Jess lay in the bedroom of the apartment, trying to get to sleep. <Tonight is a nightmare night.> She knew it. How she knew it, she wasn't sure, but she *knew* it.

And it had been a while since she had this vibe. <And Lindy's been doing so well,> she thought. Lindy had adjusted surprisingly well to Krycek's presence in Jess's life. She had made major steps towards conquering her fear. But when she did spook, Jess had to do her utmost to calm her back down.

She rolled over to watch Krycek as he slept. He was curled beside her, his left arm curled under his body protectively. Jess noticed that he always did seem to favor that arm, although he was right handed like her. <Hell, I would too.>

<Hard to believe that it's only been a month,> she thought with a smile. She sighed as she though about how fast her life had changed.

<Maybe thinking about everything has got me edgy. Some hot chocolate ought to settle me.> She slid out of bed, trying not to disturb Krycek. She padded out of the bedroom and across the living area to the kitchenette, weaving to avoid furniture. An adult and a child fit into the space easily. But two adults, a child and a cat was pushing it. <It's high time to get out of this cramped apartment.> She started the water boiling.

Just after she added the powder to her cup, she heard movement behind her. ~Whatcha doing?~ Lindy mindspoke.

~Girl, what are you doing out of bed?~ Jess turned around. ~It's after midnight.~

~Heard you moving around. And you always told me to check out strange things.~

~Okay. As long as you're up, sit down and have some chocolate too.~

"Okay." She sat down. ~Why isn't Alex with us?~

~He's asleep. Didn't want to disturb him or you.~ Jess looked the little girl in the eye. ~How are you doing? Any nightmares? Scary feelings?~

~Nope.~ Lindy blew into the mug. ~He hasn't tried anything. Always been nice. Why should I be scared?~ She started to drink her chocolate.

~Good. I've just been unsettled tonight. Thought I might've been picking up something from you.~ Jess lifted her mug. <Musta been imagining things.>

The drank in silence, just enjoying being together. Lindy's eyelids started to droop and her head began to nod.

~Why don't you go back to bed?~ Jess said. <Disgusting, I'm still wide awake.>

~Okay.~ Lindy was tired. Once up, usually she would resist the idea of going back to sleep. She got up from the table. "Night, Jess." she whispered as she went back to her room.

Jess cleaned up the kitchen and turned out the light. As she walked back to the bedroom, she heard a low moan of fear. That was when she realized that she hadn't been picking up vibes from Lindy. She had been picking them up from Krycek.

She ran the last few paces into the bedroom. Krycek, still asleep, was thrashing about on their bed. "No! Don't! Nyet! For God's sake, no!" he screamed, bolting upright. His eyes snapped open.

"Alex, it's okay. I'm here." She sat on the bed and pulled his sweat covered body to her. He locked his arms around her tightly, burying his head into her shoulder. ~It's all right.~ She rocked him back and forth.

~Jess, what's happening?~ Lindy mindyelled. She had heard his yell and was running towards their bedroom.

~It's okay, Lindy. Go back to sleep. I'll deal with it.~ Her attention shifted back to the frightened man she was cradling. "Alex, you're safe," she repeatedly whispered.

Eventually, his death grip loosened on her. His hands wandered up to her head and pulled it to his. While kissing her, he pressed her back onto the bed. ~I need you, Jessica.~

Jess returned the kiss as he pulled her sleep shirt off her. He had been so frightened of what he had dreamed, he was trying to reassure himself of reality by making love to her. ~I'm here. You're safe,~ she repeatedly 'spoke as she was swept away by the sensation of his lips on hers.

Her underwear soon followed the sleep shirt. And his also. Jess lightly stroked his back as Krycek moved to her breast, gripping her shoulders convulsively. She nuzzled the top of his head, planting kisses in his soft hair. A soft growl, almost a purr, vibrated from her throat as she reached his ass.

Krycek whimpered and tongued the skin between her breasts. ~So beautiful.~ He traveled back up to her face, stroking her cheeks. ~Do you want me, miserable rat bastard that I am?"

~I don't want a miserable rat bastard. I want you.~ She nipped lightly at his ears and throat. She wrapped her thighs around his.

Krycek moaned wordlessly and penetrated her. Each thrust sank him deeper into her depths. Jess whimpered quietly with each movement, feeling him fill her. She could feel her pleasure rising, her muscles squeezing him. ~Alex!~

Krycek looked down at his lover, in the throes of her orgasm. She had arched up against him, heels and head dug into the matress. Her neck was bare to him in submission and ecstacy. The sight of her drove him over the edge. ~Jessica!~ He flowed into her as a warm darkness flowed into him.

* * * * * * *

Krycek woke up. He could feel Jess's arms holding him tightly. She was curled around him protectively, her cheek resting on his neck, making it impossible for someone to get at him without going through her first.

<Oh God! What a nightmare.> In his dream, he was back in the labs, just before he underwent the first in a series of experiments. He shivered as he remembered the cruelty inflicted on him in the name of science.

He smiled as he remembered making love to Jess. It had been more incredible than usual, maybe because he had been so relieved that it had only been a dream, that he wasn't still locked in that damn silo or in those labs or in the woods outside of Tunguska having his arm hacked off. Or maybe it was because... .

Krycek groaned. <Shit! How could I have been so *stupid*?>

Jess stirred when she heard the groan. "Morning handsome," she said, snuggling a little closer.

"Morning Jess." His hand started to stroke her short brown hair. "I'm sorry about last night."

Jess idly traced circles on his chest. "Don't worry. I'm used to handling nightmares. Between me and Lindy, I've had a lot of practice. Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He didn't want to discuss those horrible memories at all. "I wasn't talking about my dream." His other hand eased across the small of her back. "I'm talking about making love to you without a condom. Jeez, I can't believe I forgot."

"Alex, it's okay." Jess pushed up to look him in the eyes. "Our tests came back negative and we're only sleeping with each other. So that rules out AIDS and other VDs. And if I'm pregnant," Jess shrugged, "I can't think of anyone else I want to be the father." She lay back down on beside him. A glint appeared in her dark brown eyes. "Besides, I could have stopped you if I had really wanted to."

Krycek sighed in relief that she wasn't mad at him. And then decided to return her teasing tone. "I'd like to see you try," he growled as he dove lecherously for her neck.

Jess laughed and playfully shoved at him. Their wrestling match continued for a few minutes until it was interrupted by a quiet knock. ~Can I come in?"~ came Lindy's mindvoice.

"Give us a sec," Krycek called. He slid out of bed to get their clothes from the floor where he had tossed them last night. Ignoring Jess's wolf whistle as he bent over, he tossed her the sleep shirt. As she pulled it on, he stepped into his sweatpants. "Come on in," he said as he sat back down on the bed.

Lindy, dressed in pajamas, opened the door. "Morning," she said. She scampered into bed beside Jess.

"Scooch over, Alex. Lindy's hanging off the edge." Jess resettled, putting an arm around each of them. "So what are we doing this Saturday morning?"

"Watch cartoons and eat Chocopuffs?" Lindy said eagerly.

"Sounds like we're in for a sugar rush, Jess," Alex laughed.

"Okay, Lindy, go turn the TV. I'll get the cereal. None for me, though. But it's not my fault when the two of you are bouncing off the walls."

Krycek winked at her above Lindy's head. ~Hopefully, I'll be bouncing off of you later.~

~Horny hell hound,~ Jess shot back. "Let's move into the living room."

* * * * * * *

Later in the afternoon, Jess, Lindy, and Krycek were still watching the TV. <Damn, it's been so long since I've had a lazy day. Might as well enjoy it,> Jess had idly thought earlier. Between working with her brother Michael at his veterinarian clinic as a secretary, taking care of Lindy and Krycek, and trying to discretely do research into the paperwork she swiped from the pharmaceutical lab, she felt as if she were physically stretched almost to the breaking point.

<But would I trade any of it for the world, nope.> She hadn't been this content ever in her life. And apparently Lindy felt the same. To her surprise, Lindy had snuggled on the couch between her and Krycek instead of the opposite side of Jess from him. True, she was practically on Jess's lap, but it was a big step for her to be there between them at all.

~Aren't we a picture of domestic bliss?~ Krycek 'spoke to her sardonically. He stretched and yawned, displacing the cat that had curled on his lap.

~Me, domesticated? Never,~ Jess snorted. "Sorry, Lindy, but my leg's gone to sleep. Move, please." She stood up, shaking her leg to get the blood flowing again.

Lindy also got up. "I'm gonna go play video games," she announced and ran up the stairs.

"Abandoned for a hedgehog and a plumber," Jess muttered. She flopped back down beside Krycek. "So are you ready to talk about the dream you had last night?"

Krycek grabbed her legs and swung them over his lap. "No, I'd rather talk about how much I want you." His hands started to slide up them.

Jess stopped him mid movement. She pulled her legs off him to curl them under her. "Oh no. You're not using sex, however great it is, to avoid this. I want to help you. What's wrong?"

Krycek sighed. "I've been dreaming about Hong Kong, the silo,the labs, and the woods outside the gulag. And they terrify me."

"Are you remembering things?"

"No, I still have blank spots."

"Well something is trying to break through," She leaned an elbow against the couch. "Maybe we oughta get you a hypnotherapist."

"Why? So I can relive my greatest shame? Have my nose rubbed in everything I did?" Bitterness tinged his voice. "All I want to do is forget," he sighed.

"Alex, that's not what I meant." Jess put her left hand over his left one and squeezed. "Some part of you is trying to remember, wants to remember. Those repressed memories are festering and rotting inside you. If you allow yourself to remember, you can start to heal."

Krycek put his free hand over hers. "I'm scared, Jess. I am scared shitless of what we'll find out."

Jess leaned her forehead against his. "We'll work through it together. What ever happens, I will be here for you." She lifted his hand to her lips, kissing the palm lightly. ~I swear it.~

* * * * * * *

Two days later, Krycek and Jess waited nervously in the hotel room. Mulder had requested to see them, alone, in Martha's Vineyard. Since it coincided with a school break, they had brought Lindy along. "At least we'll get a mini vacation out of it," Krycek had said.

Lindy, oblivious to the tension, sat reading in the corner. She also had a stack of hotel stationary and a pile of crayons in easy reach. Her head snapped up. ~Someone's at the door,~ she mindspoke to the room in general.

Jess nodded and went to the door. She looked out the peephole. "Mulder," she said softly.

Krycek took a deep breath and nodded. Jess opened the door. "Hello, Mulder."

"Lindy, Krycek, Jess," he said by way of greeting. In an attempt to diffuse the tension between him and Jess, he tried to make a joke. "So how are your San Jose Guppies doing?"

Jess flopped down onto the edge of the bed. "You didn't call us out here to make fun of my home town hockey team, Mulder. Cut the chit chat. Why are we here?"

"There is a way Krycek can prove he's reformed." The skepticism in Mulder's words were clear.

"I'm listening," Krycek said.

"It involves the digital tape."

"Digital tape?" Jess arched her eyebrows. "What digital tape?"

Krycek understood immediately. He closed his eyes. "You're not going to ask us to do what I think you are."

~What? What is he going to ask for?~ Jess mindspoke to Krycek.

~Me to sell my soul to the devil again,~ came the grim reply.

Mulder leaned forward. "Not 'us' Krycek. You. I have a lead on the digital tape. I want you to retrieve it."

His choice of words rankled Jess. "Retrieve?" She stood up. "Is that what you think of us? Of me? Something less than human that can be ordered around like some trained dog?"

~Jess, calm down,~ Krycek stood up and put his arms around her.

~No, Alex. I won't calm down. He's treating us like we owe him.~

~I do.~

~So do I. But he's taking advantage of it.~

Mulder looked uncomfortable. "I wish you two wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" Jess asked sullenly. She sat back onto the bed.

Mulder tapped the side of his head. "Telepathy."

"Get used to it," Jess snarled.

~Jess, calm down. Let's hear the man out before we refuse him.~ "Start talking."

"The digital tape," he said for Jess's benefit, "has information on it from Roswell up to the present. It was first brought to my attention by a hacker."

Jess nodded. "Who got it illegally, of course."

"Of course. I, um, handed the tape over to Skinner for safe keeping."

Jess finished the story. "And then Krycek took it forcibly from him. And the rest, shall we say, is history. And I think we have enough info to make a decision."

Mulder stood up to leave. "Consider what I've said. And Krycek, consider this." His eyes narrowed. "If I even think that you aren't playing this straight, you're a dead man. And if you hurt Jess... ."

"Mulder, that's enough." Jess's voice was ice cold.

With a final glare at Krycek, Mulder left.

About two seconds after he left, Krycek spoke. "Let's do it."

"Alex, you don't have to prove anything to me. And it's too risky."

"No, we need to keep Mulder and Scully our allies. And I have to atone somehow. This might be a start."

* * * * * * *

Jess requested a second meeting with Mulder, alone.

She was waiting in a Dennys, not far from where she was staying. She wanted a few words with Mulder, not wanting to have to act as a buffer between him and Krycek.

Mulder came and joined her in the booth. "Krycek chickened out this time?"

"Shut up, Mulder. *I* requested this meeting, not Alex," Jess growled. "I have some questions I want answered before we say yes or no."

"Fine, go ahead. Ask."

"Okay. One, how reliable is your source?"

Mulder shifted uneasily. "As reliable as any of my sources are."

<That's not an answer,> Jess thought. But she knew that would be the only answer she would get. "Two. Does Scully know about this?"

"No."

Jess looked at him sharply. "You haven't told her? Is that wise?"

"Is that any of your business, blood thirsty hell beast?"

Jess smiled at the use of her nickname. "You're right. It's none of my business." She leant forward, resting her chin on her hands. "You know the only reason I'm considering this is because Alex feels so damn guilty."

"Like I said earlier, this is a chance to prove he's reformed." Mulder shifted again uneasily.

<What is he hiding?> Jess thought. <He's keeping back something.> She didn't want to probe his mind and find out. That would be a violation of their friendship. And Jess felt that she and Krycek could handle any situation together. "Okay, we'll do it. Where do we go and what do we do?"

"The tape is being kept in a house on the outskirts of D.C. The full moon will be happening in five days. He'll probably have the best chance then."

"No, Mulder. If someone knows that you've contacted us, they'll be expecting him then. Alex can will the Change almost as well as I can now. And I'm not letting him do this alone. He and I do it tomorrow night."

* * * * * * *

Krycek and Jess debated the information they had gotten from Mulder, formulated a plan. Jess and Krycek would make the raid on the house. A little careful observation on Mulder's part had revealed that there was a standard burglar alarm on the house, but nothing else. Once it was disabled, it would be a simple matter to get in and out.

They had left Lindy at the hotel. Krycek had been adamant "I don't want her involved. It's too dangerous for a kid like her." Now they were trotting in wolf form to their target.

~Alex, does any of this smell rotten to you?~ Jess 'spoke. She had been uneasy with the whole idea. She was almost invisible because of her solid black fur.

Krycek was a little easier to see because of the white patches on his dark fur, the more traditional markings of a husky. ~I've had an uneasy feeling too, but I can't quite put a finger on it.~

~Don't you mean paw?~ She ducked his mock snap at her neck. ~Okay, I'll be serious.~

~You, serious?~ he snorted. ~Don't make me laugh.~

A fence barred their way. Taking a few steps backwards,they both took a running jump it to land in a backyard. ~This is it.~ Jess looked back at Krycek. ~You've had more experience breaking into places. What next?~

~We find a way in.~ Krycek circled the house, scanning the place. ~There. Window to the kitchen is cracked open. And if there is an open window... .~

~... the alarm system is off.~ Jess trotted over to the window and nosed it wider open. She slid through the opening. Krycek followed.

They found themselves standing in a kitchen with all the modern convinces. Their claws clicked against the tile floor as they made their way to the hall. ~Mulder said the tape will be hidden in the upstairs den, Alex. Let's go.~

They paused in front of the stairway. ~Wait a second. This place smells familiar.~ Krycek had wrinkled his nose, inhaling deeply.

Jess sniffed. ~Something does smell familiar, but I'm not sure from where.~ She shivered, fur bristling in waves. ~This is giving me the creeps. Let's just get the damn tape.~

~Agreed.~ They slowly climbed the stairs. The door to the den was wide open. Jess and Krycek entered it hesitantly, heads and bellies low to the ground. They started pulling drawers open and rifling through them, no mean feat using canine jaws and paws. ~Jess, found it!~ Krycek pulled his head out of one drawer, holding the tape gingerly in his mouth. They started back down to the kitchen.

~Alex, this is all wrong.~ Jess stopped, ears pinned back flat against her head. ~Nobody's here. It was too easy to get in and find it. If this tape's so valuable, why keep it here, with no one guarding it?~

Krycek looked back at her, forefeet on the window sill. ~And I just remembered what smelled so familiar. There were Morley butts in the ashtray upstairs. And I only know of one person connected with Mulder who smokes Morleys.~ He shot her a mental picture of Cancerman.

Jess eyes widened. ~Oh God! This is a set up! Let's get the hell out now!~

Krycek and Jess squeezed through the window. They couldn't sense anyone around them, but they ran off quickly and silently, taking no chances.

~We'd better split up. I'll go get Lindy. You go on to Mulder's.~ Jess veered off in another direction, blending into the night.

~I'm gonna run a random pattern, just in case. Be there in two hours. Be careful.~ Krycek also ran into the darkness.

* * * * * * *

Jess had returned to where she left her clothes earlier that evening. She Changed back into a human and went into the hotel. <Better find Lindy.> She almost ran to their room.

Jess stepped through the door. ~Lindy, I'm back.~

No response, mindvoice or physical voice.

~Lindy?~ Jess opened the bathroom door. Nothing. ~Lindy!~ Jess opened the floor length drapes. Again nothing. There were no other hiding places in the room. ~*Lindy!!!!*~

* * * * * * *

<Damn you, Mulder. Damn you, Cancerman. And damn me for getting involved in this in the first place. How am I going to face her? That kid's a daughter to her.> He had heard Jess's mindscreams. She 'spoke to him frantically after not finding Lindy. After calming her somewhat, he also tried to 'speak to Lindy, with no luck. <Maybe I'm just too far away from Lindy. That's got to be it.> But deep inside, he knew that wasn't the reason.

He stopped in front of an apartment. <Never thought I'd end up here.> He knocked on the door.

Mulder opened it. He looked at him cooly. "Well," he said, arching an eyebrow.

Krycek strode in, hatred burning in his eyes. "I hope Lindy's life was worth this." He tossed the tape at Mulder.

"Where is she? Jess dragged herself here an hour ago."

"I don't know." Each word came out with a hard edge.

Jess staggered out of the bedroom. Eyes wide, she clutched at the door frame for support. She looked at Krycek, and then behind him. ~I still can't 'hear her. Can you?~

Krycek shook his head. "I still can't 'hear her either." ~I hoped it was because I'm not as strong as you are.~ He walked over to her and put his arms around her. Jess leaned into the embrace, shivering.

"What do you mean 'can't hear her'?" Mulder demanded.

"We can all mindspeak to each other. Doesn't have to do with the fact that Alex and I are a mated pair." Jess explained. "Seems to be an extension of our mindreading abilities."

"And Lindy is keeping quiet? Shutting you two out?" Mulder asked.

"No, it doesn't work that way. We can usually get a sense of where the other is."

"So what happened?"

Jess couldn't answer. Krycek explained, deadly serious. "Only two things I know of can stop mindspeach - when we're too far apart, or death."

* * * * * * *

Scully walked the hallway to Mulder's apartment. She knew he was up to something. He had been even more paranoid and secretive at work and at home than usual. That meant that he had gotten a lead on a piece of information that someone didn't want him to have.

When she stepped into the apartment, she understood why. Jess crouched on the couch, arms wrapped around her knees tightly, staring into space. <And where Jess goes... oh shit!> She walked over to Jess and shook her shoulder slightly. "Jess, where's Krycek?"

"Bathroom" came the toneless reply.

<Jeez, she is really out of it.> "And Mulder? Where is he?"

"In the bedroom," said an all too familiar voice.

Scully spun to see Krycek standing in the doorway to the bedroom. "What the *hell* are you doing here?"

"Mulder asked us to do a favor." The bitterness in his voice was palatable. "And it doing it may have been the worst mistake I've ever made." He pushed past her to kneel in front of Jess. He stared intently at her face, and then cupped it in his hands. "C'mon, Jess. We can't reach her from here. Exhausting yourself isn't going to help," he said gently.

" 'Exhausting yourself?' " Scully asked.

Jess still stared into space, almost catatonic. "She's trying to find Lindy by mindscanning, but I've never seen her go so deep," Krycek said. "Jess, I got us into this. It's my fault. Blame me."

Jess closed her eyes and started to shake. Her breath, instead of being slow and measured, came in staccato bursts. "Not your fault,... told her would *always* protect her,... should have known... ."

"Jess, look at me." She opened her eyes. He continued to speak. "There is know way that you could have known. And we'll find her."

"Lindy's missing?"

"Yeah, Scully. Go ask Mulder about it. I'm going to try to snap Jess out of this."

Scully stepped into the bedroom where Mulder was holding a digital tape. "Is that why Jess and Krycek are here?"

"I was told where the tape was being kept. And I thought that they were the perfect choice to get at it."

"Only it was a set up, and you were suspicious but asked them to do it anyway." Scully started piecing everything together. "And you thought that if anyone got hurt, it would be Krycek and not Jess or Lindy." She paused tilting her head. "Is that even *the* tape?"

"I don't know. All I know is I may have just destroyed her life."

"No, Mulder, you just complicated it that much more." Jess, shadowed by Krycek, stood in the doorway. "You didn't abduct Lindy." Her jaw tightened. "All you're responsible for is what you asked me and Alex to do."

"Jess, I'm sorry that you and Lindy got involved." Mulder did sound repentant for that. "But don't ask me to apologize to him."

Jess bit her lower lip. "Alex, Dana, I want a minute alone with Mulder."

Krycek and Scully left the room without a word. Jess fixed Mulder with a steely glare. "Now let's get something straight between us. I once loved you. I do still, as a friend. And I'm extremely hurt and angry right now."

Mulder's gaze also narrowed. "And?" he said dangerously.

"I made a vow that I would fight tooth and nail to keep my family safe. And consider Alex family as much as I consider Lindy, Michael, Annie, Dana, and you. But if I'm forced to make a choice between you and Alex, you're not going to like it."

Mulder stood up. "Jess, for the sake of our friendship, I'll try to not force you to make that choice. But don't expect me to accept Krycek with open arms."

Jess steped forward a pace. "I'm not asking you to. But I would like you to stop acting like he's demon spawn. Sometimes I wonder who you're actually angry with, Alex or your dad."

"Jess," he growled warningly.

"Shut up, Fox and let me finish." Jess's eyes narrowed. "I can understand why you'd be angry at Alex. He did shoot him in cold blood. But you make it sound like he killed your best friend, not your father. And don't tell me that your father was your best friend. I know better than that. I know that he didn't want you to talk about Samantha, or act like she existed. And I have a good guess that he knew a lot more about her disappearance than he let on."

Mulder paled. He was sure that no one other than Scully and his mother had any idea about that. "How did you know?"

"Logical reasoning, and the fact that I'm a bit further removed from the events means I can be a more dispassionate observer." Jess shook her head. "Mulder, I understand about how you feel about your dad. My dad wouldn't let us talk about Rachel when she died. But I still loved him and it took me a long time to admit that I was angry at him. But you have to admit the anger is there and then let it go, or else it's going to destroy you. But I won't let you take it out on Alex."

* * * * * * *

Krycek was going through his own special personalized hell. <This is exactly what I was afraid would happen.> He hadn't wanted Jess or Lindy to come to any harm. <Oh God, if I don't find her... .>

They were back as Scully's apartment. Jess refused to stay at Mulder's. "Too many memories," she had said. And since the hotel room had been compromised, there was only one place they could hide momentarily.

He sat by the bed, watching Jess. He had managed to finally get her to go to sleep. She had stayed up seventy two hours straight, trying to reach Lindy with her mindvoice. Nothing had been found, no sign of her physically or mentally.

He wanted more than anything to collapse beside her, to forget, if only while asleep, the waking nightmare they were living. But there was something he wanted, needed, to do. He left the room, only to search out Mulder's partner. "Scully, I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry, Krycek?" Scully growled. She was sitting at her home computer, typing a report. "About what?"

Krycek swallowed. "About everything I was involved in, your disappearance and your sister's death." There, he said it. "I know it doesn't make up for what I've done. I know you will probably hate me for the rest of your life. And I don't blame you for it," he added softly. Having said what he needed to say, he turned and started to walk away.

"Krycek," she said sharply. "I want to know, did Cardinale pull the trigger, or did you?"

He half turned back to her. "You probably won't believe this is the truth. Cardinale shot her. I was there, but I didn't kill your sister. And I want to take down the men who ordered it just as badly as you."

The phone rang. Scully picked it up. Krycek stood watching her, afraid of what she was hearing. <Please, don't let Lindy be dead.>

Scully hung up the phone. "Wake Jess up," she said grimly. "They've found Lindy."

* * * * * * *

Lindy lay unconscious in the hospital bed, hooked up monitors. Jess sat beside the hospital bed, pressing Lindy's hand to her forehead. She knew what had happened to her from the moment she saw her lying in the bed, twelve hours ago.

Scully entered the room, holding Lindy's chart. "Jess, can I talk to you outside?"

The door opened a second time. Krycek stepped in wordlessly and walked to Jess without looking at Scully. He dropped a quick kiss in Jess's hair and took her place beside Lindy.

Jess followed Scully out of the room. Outside Mulder was waiting. "We have the results of the blood work on Lindy."

Jess nodded, saying nothing.

"Her tests came back as normal. *Completely* normal," Scully emphasized.

Jess made a statement, not asked a question. "They reversed the Change."

"Jess, you're always telling me not to jump to conclusions," Mulder said. All we know for certain is that the unknown enzyme that she had in her blood is no longer present."

"Mulder, last night was a full moon. I stayed up the whole night, in her room, fighting the urge to Change. Lindy didn't so much as grow an extra hair." She turned away. "I don't know whether I should be happy, sad, or jealous."

"Jealous?" Mulder raised his eyebrows.

"Lindy may have just become something Alex and I have longed for - fully, unquestionably human and not worry about someday losing control and letting the truth about what you really are slip out." She looked sidelong at the pair. "But you wouldn't understand that, would you?"

"Jess, think about who you're talking to." Scully said ironically.

"That's not what I meant. And you two being lovers is a little less earth shattering than being the myth come to life. But I don't want to talk about it." She looked at Mulder hard. "One question, was that the tape you were looking for?"

"It was blank," he said softly.

Jess looked down and away from him. "Figures," she muttered and walked back into Lindy's room.

* * * * * * *

Jess sat by Lindy's bed, watching her. According to the doctors, she was slowly coming out of the coma and would be conscious sometime today.

<Poor little thing's been through so much.> Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how they first met. She and the little girl had bonded so fast, mostly because of their shared lycanthropy and experiences.

She looked around the room. Everywhere she cast her gaze, she saw I.V.'s, tubes, wires, monitors, and other medical devices that all connected back to the little girl laying in the bed. <Why her? She's suffered enough. Why not me instead?>

The door opened and Krycek stepped in. He had been either at Jess's side or at Lindy's when she was asleep. He gently brushed Lindy's bangs back from her eyes. "Jess what are we going to do?" Krycek sounded as mystified as she felt.

She reached for his hand. "I don't know." Jess looked down. "Part of me wants the little werewolf I've been raising back. But part of me is saying 'let her be human and have a 'normal' childhood.'" She looked back up at him. "She doesn't remember much about being human. And what she does isn't that happy, mostly her abuse." She gestured weakly. "I don't know if she wants to be human. If I Change her and she didn't want me to, she may hate me."

"Hate us, Jess. I'm going to back whatever decision you and Lindy make." He sighed deeply. "God, sometimes I wish I were human again."

Jess wrapped her arms around him. "Eventually you get used to the cycle of the moon, and even enjoy it. But you never stop mourning and longing for your lost humanity. Believe me, I know." She paused. "And if she decides to stay human, will she want to stay with me? I don't think I could lose her." Her voice became that of a scared child.

"Maybe we should wait until we can talk to Lindy. After all, if she decides to stay human, and then changes her mind, we can do something about it then." He held her tight.

"You're right. It is her choice." Jess laid her head against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. Tears slipped from between her closed eyelids. <But what will she choose?>

Krycek's grip on her shoulders tightened. "Jess," he whispered softly, "Look."

Jess turned around wiping her eyes. She smiled as she saw Lindy's eyes flutter open. Lindy made a weak sound and reached for her.

"Shhhh, it's okay," Jess cooed, taking Lindy's hand in her own. "We're here, sweetheart."

"Can't 'hear you. Don't remember anything," Lindy said, frightened.

"It's all right, Lindy." Krycek put his hand over Jess's and Lindy's. "You will remember eventually. You don't have to right now."

"But why can't I 'hear you?" Lindy was growing edgier by the moment.

Jess looked at Krycek. ~Do I tell her now?~

~I don't see anyway we can avoid it.~

Jess looked back at the little girl tenderly. "Lindy, sweetheart, we think that someone, somehow was able to make you human again."

Her eyes widened. "Not a werewolf? No more Changing?"

"Yes, honey. But you need to get a little better before we talk any more about it. You may not be able to 'hear me or Alex, but one of us will be near by, watching." She bent over to whisper in Lindy's ear. "And I'll always love you, no matter what."

A doctor stepped into the room. "I see she's awake. We need to run some tests. If the two of you would mind waiting outside."

* * * * * * *

Krycek sat in the waiting room besides Jess, near Scully and Mulder. After the doctor had examined her, the four of them had seen Lindy, who still was a little groggy. They had left when she fell into a deep natural sleep. In her relief that Lindy was all right, she had finally allowed herself to fall asleep, her head resting on his shoulder.

Krycek leaned his head against hers. <Can't go to sleep, not now. One of us needs to be awake. Just in case,> he thought tiredly. His eyelids, however, refused to cooperate. He was lightly dosing before he knew it.

A quiet "ahem" made him look up. Mulder stood in front of him frowning. "We need to talk, alone."

Krycek lifted his head. "I have nothing to say to you. I did your dirty work. Now leave us alone."

"Listen to him," Jess said quietly. She lifted her head from his shoulder.

~You're supposed to be asleep,~ Krycek chided.

"I was," she said softly. "Go talk to him. Get it out of your system."

She patted Krycek on his back, looking at Mulder. Neither of them were sure to whom she had spoken.

Krycek gave her hand a squeeze. He stood up, looking Mulder squarely in the eye.

Mulder returned the stare and then turned and walked away. Krycek followed. They both walked silently past Scully, returning from looking at the latest test results on Lindy's charts. She turned and watched them leave with puzzled eyes. She started to follow.

"Don't, Dana," Jess said softly. She got up and walked over to her.

"Where are they going?" she asked.

Jess smiled ruefully. "Either to kill each other or to make peace."

* * * * * * *

Krycek followed Mulder down to the half empty parking lot. He had walked in silence behind Mulder the whole time. He understood the anger that the man had towards him, but that didn't give him any right to try to get revenge on him through Jess or Lindy.

"That's far enough," Krycek said. He grabbed Mulder by the arm, swinging him around to face him. "What is this about?"

Mulder pulled his arm free. "You, you son of a bitch." The hatred and contempt were clear in his voice and face. "It's supposed to be you in the hospital bed, not Lindy. It's your fault."

"I wasn't the one who took her from the hotel," Krycek growled.

"No, but if it wasn't for you, Jess and Lindy wouldn't be here." Mulder's eyes narrowed. "And you did help take Scully. And kill her sister. And kill my father."

"Go ahead, vent all your hate on me. It's nothing I don't put myself though every day. But it won't change anything I've done."

"You arrogant bastard!" Mulder lost hold of the tight rein he had on his temper. "You betray my trust, you almost get me killed multiple times, you leave me to die in a gulag, and *I'm* the bad guy?" He swung at Krycek, connecting with his jaw. Krycek staggered back, stunned. Strangely, he didn't retaliate, or even defend himself.

Mulder again punched him, this time square in the face. Krycek's head snapped back, blood streaming from his nose. Again, he didn't retaliate. In fact he almost seemed to want Mulder to hit him.

Again Mulder punched Krycek on the jaw. This time he wasn't able to keep his balance. Krycek staggered and went face down onto the pavement.

Mulder was on top of him in an instant. Jamming a knee into Krycek's back, he grabbed Krycek's head and started slamming it against the pavement. "This is for Scully!" Slam. "This is for Melissa!" Slam. "This is for my father!" Slam. "And this is for me!" Slam.

He paused. Somehow, beating up Krycek wasn't making him feel better like he thought it would. Krycek was right - it wouldn't change a thing he had done. It wouldn't bring back the dead or erase what had been done to the woman he loved or reunite him with his sister or his father.

Krycek turned his head to one side. His head was covered in cuts and bruises. His nose was broken. He was spitting blood from where his jaw had cut into his tongue as Mulder punched him. But he still managed to gasp out, "I'm sorry, Mulder," with tears falling from his eyes.

And for the first time, Mulder actually listened to him. Heard his pain. His shame. His sorrow.

Krycek sounded just like Mulder whenever he talked about being unable to stop Samantha's abduction.

Something in Mulder softened. He realized that Krycek was just a pawn. He had been a victim of the Smoking Man's schemes as much as he was. And also, Jess was right. It wasn't Krycek he was angry with. Well, no, it was Krycek he was angry with, but it was what his father he was really wanting to beat up.

Krycek felt the pressure on his back ease. Mulder's hands went from his head to his shoulder. He was being helped into a sitting position.

Mulder knelt down in front of him. "You really mean that, don't you?"

Krycek put his hands on either side of his nose, forcing it back into normal position so he could self-heal. The cuts could be worried about later. "Believe it or not, yes. I was told that I was actually doing you a favor by spying on you. When I was told about what they planned for Scully, I was in too deep to get out. And that whole mess with your father, Scully's sister, the gulag..." his voice trailed off and he shook his head. "It's unforgivable." He took a deep breath. "All I want to do is forget my past and live with the woman I love."

Mulder looked Krycek in the eye and pulled him to his feet. "For Jess's sake, I'll let you live. Go clean up." Mulder turned and walked away, leaving Krycek standing there.

* * * * * * *

Lindy sat patiently through another round of blood work being drawn. The constant gentle attention had removed her fear of the doctors and nurses. In fact, several of them had brought her stuffed animals, coloring books, and other toys, all the time saying "what a brave little girl" and "what a sweetheart" she was. The knowledge that either Jess or Krycek were hovering just outside the door was also a great comfort.

She couldn't remember much about what happened after Krycek and Jess left the hotel room. She could remember hearing some noises and then feeling very sleepy. And a bright light. Mulder had repeatedly asked if there was a feeling of a presence in the room. "Yes," she answered, "but I never saw them, I think."

Jess had then interrupted, insisting that Mulder wait until Lindy was out of the hospital. "And if she decides not to talk right away, it's her choice."

The nurse removed the needle from her arm. "All done," she said. "Your mom will be here in a moment."

Lindy grinned a little. Although she never called Jess "mother," that was exactly how she felt about her. And although she didn't know Krycek that well yet, she trusted him more than any man she had met.

"Already am," came Jess's voice. She stepped through the door. Krycek was still off with Mulder, where ever that was. The nurse smiled at them and left. "How ya doing?"

"Little scared." Lindy looked up at Jess.

"So am I," she said gently, laying a hand over the child's.

Lindy said hesitantly, "Would it make me a bad girl if I said I want to stay human? For a little while?" she added quickly.

Jess smiled reassuringly. "You can stay human as long as you want to," Jess said. "And it doesn't make you a bad girl. And if you change your mind or decide that you never want to be a werewolf again, that's okay too."

The door opened again. Mulder and Scully came into the room. "Hey there, Lindy," Mulder said. "You better start not looking so healthy, or else they'll kick you out for faking."

Lindy giggled. "The sooner, the better, eh little one?" Jess said, ruffling Lindy's hair. "So where did you hide Alex's body, Mulder?"

Mulder frowned. "He isn't back?"

"No, I haven't seen him since he went to talk to you, over an hour ago. Dana?"

Scully shook her head. "You don't think... ."

Jess got a concentrating inward look. Lindy touched her arm. "Anything?"

"No." The word was a quiet whisper. "Mulder, what did you do to him?"

"I didn't kill him. I lost my temper and roughed him up, but that's all."

"But he was conscious when you left him?" Jess growled.

"Yes."

"Oh shit," she whispered. "Here we go again."

* * * * * * *

Again they waited three days.

Jess barely got any sleep. She had been helping Lindy adjust to being human again in addition to keeping herself open to receive Krycek's mindvoice. And when she did snatch some sleep, she was haunted by nightmares.

She was in the middle of a horrifying one, a mixture of her life with Jake, Lindy's memories of her john, and fears about the future, when she felt someone shaking her shoulder. Jess blinked and looked up. "Dana, what is it? Have you found Alex?"

"Not exactly." Scully paused. "We've been contacted. They want a trade."

Jess swallowed hard. "What?"

"They want the papers you took from that pharmaceutical lab in exchange for Krycek. Do you have them?"

"Some of Mulder's paranoia rubbed off on me. I carry them where ever I go. I'll do the exchange. Where and when?"

* * * * * * *

Jess sat waiting on the park bench. She clutched a briefcase close to her chest. Mulder sat next to her. "It's gonna be okay, hell beast," he said, trying to reassure her.

"Is it?" Jess's voice was toneless. "We're always gonna be running. It'll never be safe for us."

"Isn't that the nature of life?" Cancerman stepped out of the darkness.

Jess shrank back into a defensive position. "Never being certain of the future, yes. Being snatched out of the darkness, no." She glared like a fox that has been cornered by the hounds.

"We have what you want," Mulder said. "Where's Krycek?"

"That will be disclosed when I'm assured of the briefcases contents."

Jess stood up. "So much for honor among thieves. Stay," she said to Mulder. She crossed the two yards separating her from the Cigarette Smoking Man and handed him the briefcase. As she did so, the wind shifted, leaving Cancerman upwind from her.

<That scent,> she mused as she inhaled. And then a light went on in Jess's head. This man had more of a personal stake in the X-Files and Fox Mulder than anyone guessed.

Jess smiled. Not a pretty smile.

The form in front of her shifted slightly. Cancerman knew that she *knew.*

"How can I be assured that this won't happen again, that I won't be taken?" she said quietly, so Mulder couldn't hear. "*Family* is very important to me."

The Cigarette Smoking Man kept his poker face admirably. "You were to be next. But...," he paused, trying to regain the upper hand. "If certain information is kept quiet, attention will be focused elsewhere."

Jess nodded, playing along. "Then we have an understanding. Where's Alex?" She said the last sentence in her regular voice.

Mulder's cell phone rang. He answered it without taking his eyes off of them. "Mulder... where... we'll be there. Jess." She looked back at him. "They've found Krycek. He's at the hospital right now."

Jess's head swung back around. The Cigarette Smoking Man had disappeared back into the darkness. "Let's go."

* * * * * * *

Krycek could feel someone gently holding his hand. Everything hurt horribly, including his hair. <Okay, open your eyes on the count of three. One. Two. Two and a half. Three.>

One eye cracked open. He winced and snapped it shut as the light from the overhead lamp stabbed at it.

"Alex?" came Jess's voice gently. He turned his head slightly towards the sound and tried opening both eyes again. He managed a partial victory this time. One eye refused to open.

Jess smiled at him. "Go easy. You're going to need a lot of beauty rest."

"How bad?" he croaked. <Jeez, my mouth feels like the Sahara.>

"Massive contusions on your abdomen, groin, and chest, three broken ribs, dislocated right shoulder, left hip, and right knee, chipped tooth, half healed scratches on your face, bruised jaw, broken nose, and one beauty of a black eye." Jess paused. "They really worked you over. The doctor mentioned something about giving us a bulk discount."

"I'd laugh, but it hurts too much." Krycek paused. "They reversed the Change in me also."

Jess nodded. "Let's talk about that later. Lindy wants to see you as soon as possible. She's really latched onto you. Feel up to it?"

"Okay, send the kid on in," Krycek said. Jess got up and opened the door and signaled. As Lindy trotted past her, she stepped out of the room to talk to Mulder and Scully.

"How is he?" Mulder asked.

"Physically sore. Mentally, I don't know yet," Jess sighed. "Same with Lindy. It's an emotional hell that they're going though. And I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose them." She turned and went back into Krycek's room.

Mulder and Scully stayed silent. Neither one could come up with the words to allay Jess's fears.

* * * * * * *

Three days later, Jess had brought Krycek back from the hospital to the condo she had rented. After he and Lindy were released from the hospital, Mulder had politely asked them to stay in the area for a little while, so he could keep an eye on how he and Lindy were adapting. He and Jess agreed. They needed to be near someone who could offer support. She felt that they shouldn't go back to California yet, no matter how appealing it was to run away and stick her head in the sand. Lindy was coping wonderfully. Krycek, however, just wasn't ready. He was weak from having the Change in him reversed, not to mention having been beaten with a precision meant to cause pain but not permanent damage. Otherwise he was physically healthy.

Mentally, however, was another story. He had avoided touching her. She wasn't sure exactly why. He had been plagued by the nightmares while kept in the hospital for observation, and he refused to talk to her about them.

Lindy had gone to bed hours ago. Jess watched him over the edge of her book. Krycek was sitting in the chair on the opposite side of the room instead of being curled up on the couch beside her. He was halfheartedly watching the late news. <He's uneasy about what happened. Hell, I'm uneasy too. Maybe a night's sleep will settle us.> "Ready to go to bed, Alex?"

Krycek wouldn't look at her. "Um, I was thinking. Maybe I should sleep out here on the couch tonight."

"Okay. Or you can have the bed. I'll sleep out here." She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She didn't particularly want to have sex, but she did want to hold and be held by him, just to touch him. She had sleeping alone for almost a week, and was incredibly lonely. Jess hadn't realized how much she had come to depend on his presence But if he needed to be alone, she would abide by his wishes and not make him feel guilty.

He shifted uneasily. "And I think that maybe I should move out."

Jess paled, staring with wide eyes. "Why?" she whispered when she finally found her voice.

"You told me after we started living together about how most humans didn't do anything for you." He finally looked at her. "I can't stay here, loving you, wanting you, if you can't return those feelings."

"Oh, Alex," she breathed. "Is that why you've avoided touching me all night?" As he nodded, she crossed the room and knelt in front of him. "I may have been attracted to the werewolf, but I fell in love with the man. I love you, Alex. That will never change." She interlaced her fingers with his. "Whatever happens, we'll deal with it together. Wolves mate for life." She grinned slightly. "Face it, you're stuck with me."

He slid out of the chair. "Oh God, Jess. I've been so scared that you wouldn't feel like that," he whispered as he knelt in front of her. His hands found her head. "And being stuck with you ain't that bad."

Jess found herself tasting both his tongue and his tears. "Shall we move to the bedroom?" she managed to gasp as he kissed the hollow of her throat.

"Jess, I'm not sure I can," he murmured. "I'm *really* sore."

"That's okay. Let's just get some sleep." She helped him up from the floor. Arms around each other's waist they padded off to the bedroom.

* * * * * * *

Krycek woke up with a slight moan. The swelling in his eye had finally gone down enough so he could open it. He looked over to see the back of a brunette head next to him and a blonde one beyond that. He and Jess had fallen asleep in each others arms. Krycek remembered waking up once in a cold sweat, haunted by his dreams. He also vaguely remembered Lindy coming into their room, frightened by a nightmare of her own. She had been so scared that she asked if she could sleep with them. He and Jess had shifted around until all three were in bed, Jess in the middle.

Something about the three of them being together comforted him. It reminded him of the morning a little over a week ago. <Seems like a lifetime ago,> he thought. He gently stroked Jess's hair. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes.

"Morning, Alex," she whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore, but not as bad as before. I think Lindy's still asleep."

"Am not," came the little girl's voice. "Been awake for an hour."

"Oh, playing possum. I see." Jess squirmed onto her back. "Wanna talk about your dream?"

"Just about *him*, nothing else."

"Just about the sicko who made you a werewolf? Not about anything else?"

"Yeah." Lindy scooted out from under the covers. "Gonna go watch TV," and retreated from the bedroom.

Jess rolled over so she was laying half on, half off Krycek. "And do you want to talk about anything?"

"Just about how thankful I am that I woke up next to you." An arm went around her waist. "I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up, and you'll be gone."

Jess tightened her arms around his body. "Alex, I wouldn't leave you."

"No, that you would have been taken. Like Scully was from Mulder. Like Lindy was from us." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Like I was from you."

Jess lifted up. "Alex, there is something I have to tell you. But it stays between us. Scully can't know. Mulder can't. Even Lindy can't, for now. But I think it will insure that we won't be split apart."

"What?" His eyes squinted with concern.

"Remember how I told you about my meeting with the Cigarette Smoking Man? I didn't tell you the whole story. You see... ."

* * * * * * *

Jess and Krycek decided to invite Scully and Mulder over for dinner. It was intended as an olive branch and Jess didn't expect them to accept. But much to her surprise, they did.

Jess and Krycek were waiting in their living room tensely. Lindy was upstairs playing, waiting for dinner.

The expected knock on the door made Jess and Krycek jump. Jess got up to open the door. "Hello Dana, Mulder. Come in."

Mulder and Scully entered the condo. The four of them stood in an awkward silence, until Krycek spoke. "Listen, I know how much I've hurt you. And I know saying 'I'm sorry' doesn't change anything. But don't take it out on Jess and Lindy."

"In other words, a truce is what you want," Scully said.

"A truce is what we need. An alliance is what I want." Krycek swallowed hard. "A friendship is what I hope for."

Mulder and Scully looked at each other long and hard, each debating internally. Jess kept her mouth shut, knowing that there was nothing she could say to influence them one way or another. It had to be Scully and Mulder's decision.

Scully nodded at Mulder. He said what they had agreed on earlier. "What you've done is not forgotten. It's not forgiven. But because of what you know and for Jess's and Lindy's sake, we're willing to call a truce and an alliance."

"Thank you, both of you," Jess said. "So what do you say to me calling Lindy down and we eat?"

* * * * * * *

After dinner, they all moved to the living room. They talked for hours, trading stories about each other and forging a tentative new alliance between them all. Mostly it became an oneupmanship contest between Jess and Mulder about personality quirks, odd habits, and embarrassing memories although Scully and Krycek, every now and then, did get in little digs about the two of them. None of them were truly comfortable, but it was a start.

Lindy sat between Jess and Krycek, at first excited to be so late. She loved listening to Jess talk about her past. But eventually it was too much. Her head almost split at the ears from the force of her yawn.

Jess was suddenly aware of the little girl sitting beside her. "Lindy, it's way past your bedtime. Scoot."

"Alex, read me a story?" Lindy asked.

"Okay." Krycek got up from beside Jess and followed Lindy upstairs.

Jess smiled out of love as she watched them pass by, not to mention the fact that it put Krycek's tight butt right at her eye level.

Mulder reached over and slapped her hand lightly. "Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. We gotta talk serious for a moment."

Jess sighed and looked back at Mulder. "What?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"I want to know how the three of you are doing."

"We're all having nightmares. By the end of the night, one of us has woken up at least once to comfort the other. And usually Lindy ends up asking if she can sleep with us sometime in the night."

"Nothing helps?" Scully asked.

"No. Lindy and I have these dreams whenever we've just come out of an *extremely* stressful situation. What she and I are going though is familiar territory. I'm dreaming about Jake and Alpha Wolf. Lindy's dreaming about the creep who molested her. In about a week we'll be back to normal. Alex, though, has me worried. I can't even get him to begin to talk about what he's dreaming about."

"You and Lindy talking it out should lessen the problems soon, especially if it's helped in the past." Mulder nodded. "Krycek, though, is an another story. Considered hypnotherapy for him?"

Jess sighed. "Every time I mention the possibility, he gets defensive and changes the subject. And I'm at the end of my rope."

"I can see why," Scully said. "If tonight's, and the past month's any indication of how he feels now, I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"It's not just a matter of not wanting. He can't. He has gaps in his memory. I've offered to try a mind probe, but he doesn't want that done either. He wants to forget, and something isn't letting him. But every time I bring up hypnosis, he tries to distract me." Jess looked down and blushed. "He usually succeeds too," she murmured.

"Let me talk to him, Jess," Mulder said, ignoring the reference to her sex life. "Maybe I can arrange something."

* * * * * * *

Later that evening, after Mulder and Scully left, they prepared for bed. Krycek and Jess showered, seperately. Krycek was comfortable sharing a bed again with Jess, but he wasn't certain about sex yet. He wanted her, but not if she was going to sleep with him out of pity.

Jess kept giving him side long glances. She knew something wasn't quite right, but didn't know how to approach the question. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better now that we've talked to Mulder and Scully."

"I meant physically."

Krycek turned to look at her. Standing in front of a mirror, her back was to him. She had put on her sleep shirt, but hadn't buttoned it. He could see a reflection of a pink nipple. He gulped as he felt his body respond. "Um, okay, I guess. Still a little tender in some spots, stiff in others."

She turned and smiled at him. "Stiff in the right place, I hope. Maybe I'd better examine you and find out."

Krycek moaned from the idea, but he was still hesitant. "Jess, you're not doing this out of pity for me? Because you feel you have to?"

"Alex, I don't do things because I feel I have to." A hint of fear appeared in her eyes. "You do want me? Right?"

"More than anything. It's just... ." Krycek looked down.

"Alex, stop punishing yourself." Jess stepped in front of him. She put her hands on either side of Krycek's face, making him look her in the eyes. "There are enough people out there who want to hurt you without you adding to it."

"But Jess, when we met we were the same thing. But now I'm human and you're..."

"Flesh and bone and blood, Alex. Just the same as you. I laugh, I cry, I fear, I hurt, I need. And I love. I love you. You love me. And that's all that matters."

During the last words he had leant closer to her face. He could see the unshed tears glimmering like stars in her eyes, could feel her warm breath across his skin, could smell her intoxicating scent. "You're right Jess. I love you. You love me. And that is all that matters." He closed the mere centimeters that were seperating them.

Their kiss was long and luxurious, both reassuring themselves that they were together. Tongues entwined. Hands explored. Skin rubbed. And Jess's shirt fell to the floor.

Jess backed away from him, breaking the kiss. She pressed her lips to his ear. "Alex, let me make love to you."

Krycek shivered as she nipped at his neck. "Jess, I want to. But I can't... ."

"No, Alex. Let me be on top. Let me pleasure you. I'll be gentle." A gleam appeared in her eyes. "Unless you don't want me to be gentle," she added in a soft growl.

Still, he resisted her, although his body begged him not to. "Jess, I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Jess pushed him down to sit on the bed.

"Afraid that you won't be, um, sexually responsive to me."

She looked into his wide eyes as she straddled his thighs. "Alex," she said as she guided one hand to her breast. "What do you think I'm doing right now?" She bent down to nuzzle his neck, giving it soothing swipes with her tongue.

Krycek groaned and gave up on holding back. She was too sexy to resist. "Jess?"

She pulled back to stare puzzledly at him. "Yes, Alex?"

He smiled at her. "Make me howl."

Jess smiled back. "Just remember, you asked for it."

Krycek gulped as he was pushed back flat on the bed. Jess was kissing his face wildly, fastening onto whatever feature was closest to her lips. He nipped back, managing to catch her upper lip between his teeth. He sucked hard as both hands found her breasts and squeezed.

Jess pulled back when he released her. "Hey! You're supposed to be the submissive one here." She grabbed a foil package and opened it, growling under her breath.

"So make me."

<Now that's the Alex I know.> She unrolled the condom onto his generous erection. "Do you know how a dominant wolf enforces rank over the subordinate members of its pack?" She gently took his balls in her left hand and squeezed.

"Nooooo." It was more of a moan than an answer. He smiled and brought her right hand to his lips. A pink tongue darted out to caress her palm.

Jess was positioning herself above his groin. "The alpha male, excuse the expression, treats a subordinate male wolf like a female by symbolically mating. Only in our case, I'm not a male and it ain't symbolic." Her hips lunged downward.

"Rrrrroooowaaal!" Krycek found himself buried in her hot flesh.

Jess giggled. "That sounded more like an angry, wet cat than a wolf howl." She raised back up.

Jess's passage caressed Krycek's cock again. He threw his head back. "Aroooo!"

Jess raised up. She shook her head again, laughing. "No, that's not quite right either. Sounds like an asmathic coyote." She sank down on him yet again.

"So help me. What am I supposed to sound like?"

"Like a man who can't hold himself back any longer." Jess started moving her hips faster.

Krycek was lunging upwards to meet her thrusts. His hands went to her waist, holding himself more firmly to her. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhwwwwwwoooooo!"

"Now *that's* a wolf howl." Jess tossed her head back and joined his seranade as he shot into her. Her head lolled forward and she fell forward onto him. "And you... were... afraid I... wouldn't be... sexually responsive... to you... anymore," Jess panted. She rolled off of Krycek with a sigh of contentment and removed the used condom from him, sated for the moment.

He was also panting, trying to catch his breath. "God, Jess, I may never be able to have sex again after what you just did."

Jess gave a mock shiver. "Don't say that." She nestled down beside him, wrapped her arms around him, and pillowed her head on his chest. She was drifting off to sleep when she heard him speak.

"Mulder talked to me while you and Scully were saying 'good night' to Lindy." He shifted uncomfortably beneath her. "He suggested that I get a therapist."

"What do you think?"

"That he should keep his sizable nose out of our business."

She chuckled slightly. "Little late for that, don't you think?" Jess eased up on one elbow. "Face it, events have bound all our lives together, for better or for worse."

Krycek sighed. "But I don't have to like it."

"Alex, we can get through this together. But running from the past isn't going to help. Would it help if I said I'm willing to go with you?"

He shrugged noncommittally. "Let me think about it."

* * * * * * *

The next morning, Krycek watched from the kitchenette of the condo. Lindy was beating Jess soundly at a video game. Lindy was recovering from her experience, slowly but surely. She wanted to start talking to someone about what she went through, mostly because she had been in therapy before and remembered how much better she felt afterwards. Mulder had offered to put them in contact with a therapist who would be more open minded to their situation than the run-of-the-mill psychologist. <That girl's got more guts than I do.>

He went back upstairs, not ready to face them quite yet. He still walked gingerly, trying to not jar his battered body any more than necessary. He had finally come to a decision, but wasn't certain he could follow through. <Story of my life.> He had also thought that about standing up to Cancerman, about telling Mulder about Scully's abduction, and his role in it. He had, at the time, regretted the fact that their partnership was a sham. And then he had chickened out and set events in motion that were still haunting him today.

<But that was before I met Jess and Lindy.> Having people around that truly cared for him, despite everything, was something he wasn't used to yet.

<You know what you need to do. So do it.>

* * * * * * *

Jess groaned as she lost another game. "Okay, Lindy, you beat me, big time." She passed the control back to her. "I give up." She got up from the floor and went to the kitchenette.

She had just finished pouring herself a soda when a note pad thumped down on the counter beside her. "Who's Dr. K. Anderson?"

"According to Mulder, the best damn regression hypnotherapist there is. And has an associate who would be open minded to Lindy's experiences. Feel like staying in the D.C. area for longer than we planned?"

Jess smiled and hugged him. "Are you sure? It's gonna be dangerous in D.C. We can find someone in California, for both you and Lindy."

Krycek returned the hug. "No, I need to face this head on, and out here it would be too easy to hide. Besides," he said, looking at Lindy, "it's gonna be dangerous wherever we are."

"True. Shall we tell Lindy?"

"Tell me what?"

Jess and Krycek looked down to find Lindy standing beside them. Jess hefted her up and rested her against her hip. "We're thinking about moving out here for a while. How do you feel about it?"

"Can we get Chloe?"

"Yeah," Krycek said, "We can send for your cat." <Amazing what a kid's priorities are.>

Lindy leant her head contentedly against Jess. "Okay," she whispered.

Krycek pulled both of them in a little closer. He leant his cheek against Jess's hair and sighed. "This is going to be rough."

Jess tightened her grip on them. "We've gotten through worse. We'll get through this."

* * * * * * *

"Jess," Lindy started hesitantly, "I wanna be a werewolf again."

Jess looked up from the book she was reading. "Lindy, did you just say what I think you said?"

"Yeah," the little girl said. "I miss being able to mindspeak to you."

"Is that enough of a reason?" Jess said gently. "If I Change you and you change your mind, I can't promise that you'll be human again."

"She's right Lindy," Krycek said from the doorway. He had been quietly listening to the conversation.

"Alex, Jess, I wanna be a werewolf. I don't know about being human. I don't wanna know about being human."

Jess and Krycek looked at each other. "You said it was her choice," Krycek said softly.

Jess looked back at Lindy softly. "You know I've never done this. I don't know that it will work."

Lindy got up and climbed into Jess's lap. "I don't care. I wanna try."

"Okay," Jess whispered softly, putting her arms around the little girl. She signaled Krycek over with her head. "Alex, Lindy, do I just bite?"

Both of them nodded. Lindy offered Jess her wrist. Jess took it and lifted it to her lips. She Changed slightly, allowing her wolf's muzzle to extend slightly and the teeth to grow sharper. She looked at Lindy for one last confirmation.

The little girl nodded. Jess bared her teeth and sank them into Lindy's wrist. Lindy gave a small yelp, but didn't try to pull away. She leant her head against Jess's chest to listen to her heartbeat. For her part, Jess didn't chew or gnaw, just held on.

She felt Krycek put a hand on her shoulder. "That should be long enough," he whispered.

Jess released. She hadn't bitten deep, just hard enough to break the skin and allow her saliva to enter Lindy's blood stream. She could taste the salty blood. She shifted back to full human. "Could you get me some water?" As Krycek went to get it, Jess turned her attention to Lindy again. "Did it work, sweetheart?"

"Dunno." Lindy was trying to gauge the sensations running through her body.

Krycek returned carrying a glass of water, a large bowl, and a washcloth. He handed the water and cloth to Jess. He echoed Jess's question, "Did it work?"

She rinsed, spit into the bowl, and scrubbed at her teeth to clean them. And shrugged her shoulders. "Can't tell." She sighed. "The full moon will be in about three weeks. We'll know then."

* * * * * * *

Mulder knocked on the door to Jess's and Krycek's condo. It had been three weeks since he and Scully had last heard from them, except the occasional message to let them know that everything was okay, and what Jess had tried with Lindy.

He heard Krycek say, "It's open," muffled by the door.

Mulder pushed through. No sooner than he the door was shut than a gold form knocked Mulder to the ground. Mulder found himself being the on the receiving end of an enthusiastic greeting from a puppy wolf-dog. "Get her off me," Mulder cried. "She slobbering all over my new suit."

A set of black jaws grabbed the loose skin of the puppy's neck. The adult gently but firmly pulled the puppy back off Mulder. The black adult wolf looked hard at the gold puppy. It then got up and trotted off to another room. The gold one followed.

"I see it worked for Lindy," Mulder said. "So why aren't you on all fours too?"

Krycek sat on a recliner chair and motioned Mulder to take a seat. "Lindy wanted to be a werewolf again. I'm not so sure."

"And I'm not pushing for a decision from him." Jess had reappeared wearing her customary jeans and t-shirt. "Lindy wants to say 'good night' to you, Alex. And she's sorry about tackling you, Mulder."

Krycek got up with a grunt. "Still sore," he said by way of explanation. "Oh Jess, if Scully arrives, don't tell them. Wait for me." He left the room.

"Tell us what?" Mulder said as the doorbell rang.

"You heard, I'm sworn to secrecy until Dana gets here." Jess jumped easily to her feet. "Coming." She opened the door for Scully and ushered her to the couch where Mulder was sitting. Krycek had reentered the room and was sitting in the recliner again. Jess perched on one arm next to him.

Mulder looked at Jess keenly. "Okay. What is it that you were going to tell us?"

Jess and Krycek took each other's hands. "We're engaged," Krycek said simply.

Mulder raised his eyebrows. "Engaged?"

They both nodded. "I know asking your blessing would be pushing it," Jess said, "but we felt that you should know before we actually got married."

Mulder shook his head. "You're right, you are pushing it. But it's your choice."

"Are you sure that it's safe enough to do that?" Scully asked.

Krycek shrugged his shoulders. "It won't ever be 'safe' for us. But we want this more than anything."

"And we're not doing it right away," Jess added. "We're going to wait for things to settle a little."

"As long as you know what you're getting into," Mulder muttered. "Listen, it's late. We should go."

Jess nodded. <He will accept Alex in my life but nothing more. He's trying for my sake to be happy, but it's not happening. Maybe someday, but not today.> She and Krycek got up to see them out.

At the door, they all shook hands. Scully took a long hard look at Jess and Krycek. <They do make a lovely couple,> she thought. Same dark hair and intensely, although differently, colored eyes made them seem like they were halves of the whole.

Mulder looked like he was trying to say something, but couldn't find the words. "Krycek, I won't forget, and I can't speak for Scully, but I won't hold your past against you."

"Krycek," Scully said, "I won't hold your past against you either. Consider it a wedding present."

"Wouldn't ask for any other," Krycek said softly. He put an arm around Jess.

Mulder and Scully nodded and then turned to walk away. Scully took one look back at the pair standing in the doorway, watching them leave. There was something in Jess's and the Krycek's peaceful expressions that made her think of a pair of wolves who found each other after a long loneliness, life mates now and forever.

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Finis

  
Archived: September 24, 2001 


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